Pamela Anderson Archives - Page 5 of 5 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2007

20

Jun

I am â€“ Pam Anderson Breasts Do Magic of the Day

So here are some pictures of Pam Anderson and her retarded magician friend on the TODAY Show performing their act. His biggest magic trick is foolin us into thinking that Pam Anderson still has a career after Hepatitis.. Proving that a career based on big tits does have staying power, even though, this shitty gig is less status than being a Price is Right girl, itâ€™s almost as bad as working the local car show, but sheâ€™s doing it in a one piece bathing suit and thatâ€™s good enough for me because lookin at her obscenely huge cans and weird discolored rash/scar/birthmark reminds me of what dreams are made of.

I am posting a post that a girl sent into me. I wasnâ€™t going to post it but she bribed me with pussy pictures of herself and I am all about box shots. So hereâ€™s her post on some cunt named Scott Baio and his new reality TV show that no one will watch. The tie in is that he slammed Pam Anderson.

I am – Beating a Dead Horse Named Scott Baio with My Clit Ring of the Day

I don’t know about you, but when I used to turn on the TV to watch some music videos, you’d turn on MTV or VH1. That line of thinking is apparently wrong. VH1 has decided that Scott Baio would be their newest edition to the already overpopulated laundry list of shitty reality TV shows starting in July. Chaci is now 45 years old and single. The difference between you and Baio is that he didn’t have to jerk it to Pam Anderson, he actually got to fuck her (pre-tit job) and they were once engaged. Baio lost his virginity to Erin Moran, his co-star on Happy Days, fucked Charles in Charge and future Baywatch babe, Nicole Eggert. Denise Richards and Heather Locklear have both slept with Baio as well as Brooke Shields. Even Liza Minnelli wanted his sperm. Weird. Erika Eleniak, Nicolette Sheridan, Beverly D’Angelo and Natalie Raitano have all been slammed by the native New Yorker along with countless other playmates. Chaci has been a staple at the Playboy mansion for the last few decades. The only thing you could possibly relate to in Baio’s reality is that he’s forty-five and single and if you’re not there yet, you will be.

During the show, Scott Baio is 45â€¦ And Single!, Baio asks the question, “How can I have been with some of the hottest women in Hollywood and still be single?” Well, probably because boinking all those sluts left his dick looking like it went through a meat grinder and sprinkled with parsley. Next year,Scott Baio is 46â€¦ And Dead!

Unfortunately this post reads like a fucking wikipedia entry, and this bitch has more business writing press releases for VH1 than she does for me. It didnâ€™t make me laugh but I have been known to be a bit of a joke snob, not because I think I am the funniest motherfucker out there, but because itâ€™s hard to make a broken bird laugh. At least thatâ€™s my theory as to why I find every obvious joke I read offensive.

On the positive side of things, it does prove the things I will do for pussy. I am pretty fucking easy, some would call me a whore, others call me a creep but above everything, I am a pervert.

2007

04

Jun

I am – Pamela Anderson in a One Piece Bathing Suit of the Day

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Pamela Anderson One Piece Bathing Suit

Pam Anderson is Kissing some Magician named Hans Klok at his magic show. Magic shows are pretty fucking lame, but I can only assume virgins are into this shit, like they are into wrestling and computer games and that’s part of the reason I am posting them. See, I totally work for you.

I guess the only really magic at this event is that this hag can still pull off a bathing suit in public. But lots of money in plastic surgery and maintenance isn’t really all that magical…I do know that nothing says party like Pam Anderson in a one piece bathing suit, showing off her old haggard body that is probably hotter than any body you’ve ever seen at your local strip club, I know that you still jerk off to this whore, because that’s what a legacy does. No matter how old she gets we will always remember what she was and reality is, she still has something working for her, even if she’s plastic.

Speaking of plastic, I was leaving a strip club a couple of nights ago with a friend of mine who had been there about 2 hours before I showed up. He spent most of his welfare check on this one bitch in the booth and kept going on about how horny she made him. She had huge fake tits and looked like she dreamt of being Pam Anderson. When we walked by a dollar peep show that pretty much plays clips of porn for a dollar dude walked in. He told me to wait outside. About 3 minutes later he walked out and had just rubbed one out. He was sold on how amazing these things were and I thought the whole thing was fucking hysterical. I have never done the whole peepshow thing and probably never will. I watch too much porn on the computer and shit does nothing for me, so paying a dollar to sit in a booth where dirty fucking men have busted nut is not my idea of a good fucking time. I do think that it is a good option for someone like you though, seeing as you never get laid and masturbation has become boring. It’s kind like the middle ground between doing it on public transit to switch things up but still being private enough for you to not get arrested.

2007

21

May

I am – Pam Anderson In a Bikini of the Day

45 Comments »

I don’t know when these are from, but someone emailed them to me and since I am too lazy to look shit up I am pretty much forced to post them. She looks better than usual and that’s not really saying much, because bitch is so haggard, these could be pictures of her taking a shit and they’d look better than most of the recent shit I’ve sen of her.

For the record, I don’t think girls taking a shit is that big of a deal. I remember when I was a punk teenager and would pretend that girls didn’t shit and I always had a good time hanging out with girls who would have debates with me trying to prove that they have never taken a shit and I used to fall for it and believe them. Next thing you know my face is all jammed in their asses in hopes of giving it to them. Unfortunately, I met a lot of girls who thought being one of the guys was cool and they’d talk about shit and they’d fart and they ruined the fantasy. Since then, I have come to terms with it and realize that women are people too…

That said, I tried to pull the same mind games on Pam Anderson. You know trying to convince myself that she isn’t getting older, that she didn’t have 10 kids, that she wasn’t made of plastic and that she came out of her mother’s box lookin’ like the slut we’ve all jerked off to, but realize that old, diseased and plastic is a lot better than anything I’ve seen recently and that is why I am posting these pics. Cuddles…

More Pics Can be Found Here
GO

Posted in:Bikini|Pamela Anderson|Unsorted

2007

18

May

I am – Pamela Anderson’s Short Skirt of the Day

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Here are some pictures of Pam Anderson wearing a short skirt because she can. I am actually surprised she even bothers wearing clothes at all and think she should consider only wearing the Baywatch bathing suit until she turns 90, but only because I am into crazy bitches and that would mean she was fucking nuts.

I always wondered what came first the bleach blond hair or the stripper. I always used to think that Pam Anderson was like a stripper that broke through and didn’t have to strip anymore to make a living and that all the other girls she left behind to work the pole were forced to bleach their hair and get fake tits to try to follow their leader, but I guess fake tits were around before this slut brought them to you TV.

There were a few bleached blond girls at the stripclub tonight, one of them had genital warts, another had a great set of teeth and the last one wasn’t stripping, but was there with her whore of a friend and some dude who may or may not have been on steroids, but was thick enough to be. Dude was about 20 and though he owned the fucking place because he had these two whores on his arm. When the Bob Sinclair song came on, motherfucker started singing along to the words while staring me in the eyes. When his fake titty blond chick went one stage with 5 dollars in her mouth for the stripper take out of her mouth with her cunt, the dude started giving his boy high 5’s, like he won the fucking lottery. What it comes down to is that he was so jacked on testosterone that he looked like he wanted to fuck his friend to prove how much of a man he was, the dude had to have been a fag, otherwise he wouldn’t have been so fucking insecure to hit the gym 10 hours a day to land trash chicks I would have fucked. The joke of the night was that he brought his boyfriend with him to act as a fluffer so that when they went back home to fuck both of them, he’d be able to get hard lookin at his friend’s dick…if he was lucky, when the girls weren’t lookin’ he’d maybe get the chance to stick his dick in his mouth. I feel the love generation.

Posted in:Legs|Pamela Anderson|Unsorted

2007

18

May

I am – Pamela Anderson's Short Skirt of the Day

1 Comment »

Here are some pictures of Pam Anderson wearing a short skirt because she can. I am actually surprised she even bothers wearing clothes at all and think she should consider only wearing the Baywatch bathing suit until she turns 90, but only because I am into crazy bitches and that would mean she was fucking nuts.

I always wondered what came first the bleach blond hair or the stripper. I always used to think that Pam Anderson was like a stripper that broke through and didn’t have to strip anymore to make a living and that all the other girls she left behind to work the pole were forced to bleach their hair and get fake tits to try to follow their leader, but I guess fake tits were around before this slut brought them to you TV.

There were a few bleached blond girls at the stripclub tonight, one of them had genital warts, another had a great set of teeth and the last one wasn’t stripping, but was there with her whore of a friend and some dude who may or may not have been on steroids, but was thick enough to be. Dude was about 20 and though he owned the fucking place because he had these two whores on his arm. When the Bob Sinclair song came on, motherfucker started singing along to the words while staring me in the eyes. When his fake titty blond chick went one stage with 5 dollars in her mouth for the stripper take out of her mouth with her cunt, the dude started giving his boy high 5’s, like he won the fucking lottery. What it comes down to is that he was so jacked on testosterone that he looked like he wanted to fuck his friend to prove how much of a man he was, the dude had to have been a fag, otherwise he wouldn’t have been so fucking insecure to hit the gym 10 hours a day to land trash chicks I would have fucked. The joke of the night was that he brought his boyfriend with him to act as a fluffer so that when they went back home to fuck both of them, he’d be able to get hard lookin at his friend’s dick…if he was lucky, when the girls weren’t lookin’ he’d maybe get the chance to stick his dick in his mouth. I feel the love generation.

Posted in:Legs|Pamela Anderson|Unsorted

2007

15

May

I am – Pamela Anderson Nip Slip of the Day

49 Comments »

I am only posting this because her tits are like a fucking science experiment. I feel like watching her tits is like watching Bill Nye the Science Guy make a fucking volcano with Baking Soda and Vinegar…It’s like how many times can you slaughter your tits and fill them up with goop, only to take the goop out and then put 4 times the amount of goop back in before your tits fall off or some shit. In all honesty, lookin at these pics makes me wonder how bitch sill has fucking nipples…

I used to hang out with a couple of whores who had been strippers in the 80s, this was in the late 90s and they were pretty washed up and old and had no where to go but the streets. I guess that’s where addiction takes you, because stripping doesn’t come with a retirement package. Anyway, these girls were career strippers and had the biggest set of fake tits your lap dance money could buy. Either way, one of them had an exploded implant that left her pretty much mutilated and in extreme pain all the time and only her crack could control it. I totally banged her because she would charge a discount price I could afford, but it turned me off of fake tits for life and looking at Pamela Anderson just makes me think of that thing I used to pay to suck on….

Either way, my life is pretty boring now, so I’ve got an idea of a science experiment on my own and that is to see if a mother fucker can get hepatitis from sucking the goop out of a bitch’s tit….not that I don’t already have hepatitis but I’ll pretend she gave it to me and that’s how I will make my millions as long as you promise not to tell anyone?

Bonus – A Few More Pics of Pam in a White Shirt….

Posted in:Nipple Slip|Pamela Anderson|Unsorted

2007

16

Apr

I am – Pam Anderson Nipple and Ass in a Bikini of the Day

51 Comments »

Here is Pam Anderson on the beach. She is with her kids and Tommy Lee and she’s looking a little dumpy, but not so bad for an STD ridden whore. I wrote all about her last week when she was in a bikini and I don’t feel like repeating myself, even though I am inconsistent and probably don’t agree with anything I said last week. If you want to read that post, go HERE . All I can say is at least she’s showing some nipple and implant ripple in her bikini that barely covers her cellulite ridden ass.

I like girls in bikinis, I used to go to the public pool and go for a swim just to see girls in bikinis because I fucking hate public pools but like bikinis. I hate public pools because they are like a tub full of every fucking disease possible, whether it be some kind of fungus, some kind of STD from all the people who sneak in at night, or some other shit that comes for every dirty motherfucker taking using it as a bath and a toilet at the same fucking time. Bust since I like bikinis and sometimes the only way to score some bikini watching is to bite the bullet and go public, not to mention the bitches who hang at public pools are usually too poor to afford their own pools making them easier to impress with a night out at McDonald’s.

Either way, I used to love when people would start taking the water in their mouths and spitting it at each other, knowing that I had just taken a piss where they were playing.

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2007

11

Apr

I am – Pamela Anderson Tits in a Bikini of the Day

11 Comments »

Pamela Anderson looks pretty good for an old lady with a bunch of kids and an STD. I am not going to hate on her fake tits or talk about how those fuckers made her all kinds of money because you already know that. I am not going to talk about how she was lucky to have had made the kind of money she did, because if she was still stripping in Vancouver I can guarantee she’d look a lot fucking worse than she does now. Her skin would be hanging off her face more than it is now, her tits would be some kind of discount botched job hanging all lopsided and round and her ass would be fatter from living off a french fry diet, because we all know that old strippers don’t make much money and after paying for their kids, their tanning salon minutes, their smokes and their cocaine, there’s little room for an organic diet…

What I am getting at is that her tits are the same thing as a construction worker’s pick-up truck, or a doctor’s university education, or a tattoo artist’s tattoo parlor. They are a business tool, like my not shaving, showering, grooming for the last 6 days, prepping to go out and pan handle to pay off my server debt… We all do what we have to and I’d’ still slam Pam raw dog, hepatitis and all, because I think hep would be a good angle for my begging for change money making scheme.

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2007

30

Mar

I am – Pam Anderson Hiding of the Day

3 Comments »

I know the only girls you’ve ever had were putting up a fight. I know that anything that you try to reference when jerking off conisists of memories of girls in the fetal position or covering their faces in fear of what you are going to do next, not because you are a sexual predator or rapist, but because you are you, and your look alone is enough to make a girl question what the fuck she’s about to let you do to her.

Pam Anderson, a girl who gave hope to big breasted blonde chicks worldwide that there was more to life than being a stripper, and that looks alone could have let you fuck rockstars, get hepatitis, , and live the high life while keeping your porn star look without actually being a pornstar, except for in your own tape, but that doesn’t count. What does count is that she’s covering up her tits and hiding her catchers mitt of a face for the camera. I can only assume she’s scared of her nipples making their way back on to the internet, even though we’ve already seen them. Or maybe she’s hiding the fact that she’s a busted old pick-up truck. I’ve learnt the hard way at strip clubs that if you build your career on your looks and you get old, there’s not much let for you to do than work the bar and serve me some fucking drinks old timer…

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