Parties Archives Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

Archive for the Parties Category

2009

Mar

Rihanna Love Letter of the Day

Here’s a love letter I spent the whole night writing to Rihanna, you know, I wanted to get it right without it sounding too creepy, you know since it’s the internet and people don’t like meeting creepy dudes off the internet, especially poor, fat, creepy dudes from the internet, so I gotta put on my charm, so this is what I came up with:

Rihanna,

My love for you may not be real, since we’ve never met, but I have tried to jerk off to your music videos, with no real success, but the thought of you being a strong enough woman to take a serious beating turns me the fuck on. Not that that matters, you know, Keri Hilson says that love can knock you down, but you prove that love with Chris Brown doesn’t. You inspire me to get off my couch and walk to the kitchen and get a glass of water, instead of vodka. You are the only drug I need.

Hit me up on my 2 way,

Love

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

I am not too good at this whole love letter shit, I am not good at expressing myself when it comes to my emotions, I tend to always say the wrong thing, and I know that Rihanna and I will never be, but I’ll just keep her in my heart and use thoughts of what could have been, to inspire me to be a better person….

Here she is partying like a single whore lookin’ for some new rebound cock to get over her whole love bullshit.

Here’s the Video….

Posted in:Parties|Rihanna

2009

Mar

Some Mischa Barton Stolen Party Pics of the Day

2 Comments »

I figured I’d dig into my rich LA kid vault and pull up recent pictures of Mischa Barton partying, because they are her friends. I’m talking kids from really rich producers, owners of TV stations, record executives, who all moved to New York together after graduating high school together, to live the bohemian independent life in the Lower East side, all funded by daddy and mommy or grandpa. You know where they live in artist lofts, pretend to be artists, do drugs and party to waste time with each other, only to fly back home on weekends on their private jets to have their maids do their laundry, or to party with their friend who hasn’t made the move yet, or their cross-country lover, they have so they can ichat and be emo about. They are like hipsters only they aren’t poor, they just latch onto whatever the next big thing and ride it out motherfucker until something more interesting comes along, and I’m not hating, who really gives a fuck, at this point everyone’s got a better life than me, so I’ve come to terms with my shit, as Mischa Barton slowly sinks deeper and deeper into shit, at least when she goes broke, she’ll be able to call on them to bail her out. Good planning….

UPDATE:
The rest of the pictures are here, they got leaked 3 weeks ago and I just don’t pay much attention, good times…
GO

Posted in:Mischa Barton|Parties

2008

Jul

Rihanna Hosts Parties with Her Boyfriend of the Day

2 Comments »

I don’t understand this hosting party bullshit that’s blowing up internationally. It’s like these club promoters pay insane prices for celebrities to spend about an hour in their club in some roped off booth, where the celebrities barely drink and fuck right off as soon as their obligations are met. They don’t actually party at the club, they don’t sign autographs, they just walk in and out. I heard that when Rihanna and Chris Brown were here, the were paid about 50,000 dollars for a fuking hour or two and the club was so excited with how successful the event was. They thought it put them on the fuckin’ map or some shit and all the people who were there actually felt like they parited with a famous person, leading me to believe the world is retarded.

The truth is that I am just jealous, because it would be a dream job for me to to be brought into host an event and annoy the patrons in places I normally can’t get into. It’s kinda what I do with myself anyway only I don’t get paid for the shit and usually end up kicked out. I would not only would I happily finish the free booze I was offered, but I’d also host the event for the free booze and no fee making me very affordable. I’d try to fuck all the groupies lookin in on mye but the main problem with this plan is that no one gives a fuck about me and even if they did, the places I’d get asked to host would be places you’d get raped or murdered at.

I guess it doesn’t matter, what does matter is that Rihanna and Chris Brown are fucking and she looks good enough to me in her silver dress.

Posted in:Parties|Rihanna

2006

Dec

I am – Lindsay Lohan Parties at LAX of the Day

1 Comment »

Here are some pics of Lindsay Lohan partying at LAX a few days ago because she’s an alcoholic and a whore. She’s also last week’s kitchen garbage but that’s not the point, the point is that she’s the fucking star of the show, and by show I mean this website proven by Lohan Stalker Posts. She may not be that hot or interesting especially in these pics but as the star she deserves love in good times and bad…

Speaking of stars, the star of homeless man dance just started talking to me, because some 85 year old Jesus (the real jesus) lover started telling him that the lord is with him…after the 85 year old left, Homeless Man Dance, started chatting me up like I was someone he knew. He made no fucking sense, he said his IQ is 290 and after I decided to escape he said “peace to me”. While he was talking to me, I tried writing the insanity he said down, this is pretty much verbatim. So here it is…

I became a greaser, I know you’re a greaser because you like a red hubcap… I changed it to a greaser after a guy in the school yard….I am more of a custard guy, not a pudding guy.

I go to what it was, so what would it be, I got my violin, I got to when you were young looking…. i go that’s what happens…I stall, I go to unwind. I pass by, I go to the washroom, I go to Danny, I go to Gloria and Carol, and make sure they don’t move towards me….. I got to the thing that is telling me what it is. I go to karma, my arms are raised. I go to, it doesn’t feel like you’re acting when it came to me. I go to the two of them took me off them, I go to something of you and something of me, i go to my father. I go to the bookstore, I am a gunsmith and you’re an engraver. There’s nothing there, it’s me.

I go to the day I became a greaser, I go to Linda, I am thinking of my father and you phoned him and you could only see me….Then we go to what I did with deep sea fishing. I ensure there is something about us. Then I go to her….I changed it to a pink one. I go over to the superman thing, I go to whether I actually saw a steel ball.

Britney Spears is my girlfriend, and Gwen Stefani is your girlfriend. There I am going to say it for the first time Brook’s lost control. I am going to say it, Britney Spears is my girlfriend.

I am going to say it is my 38th year on the street and 58th year of life. They were all murdered from me. I’ll throw the trouble with money….

It’s a cowboy song, the indian song is better. It falls out his hand, he’s nervous…Here’s the speed story….something about the fishnet stockings….

The Bugs Crawled in the Bugs Crawled Out….All over his greasy snout.

This may not come across as funny as it was but at least it can act as a reminder of how lame DJ AM is even though he’s banging celebs and you aren’t….

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|Parties|Uncategorized|Unsorted