Salma Hayek may be old, washed up, boring….because she’s rich and has made it in America as a Mexican import who barely speaks english, unless that’s just part of her act, you know to get all the Mexican roles…she’s probably from New Jersey and this is all lies where she milks being a Mexican you want to milk, and wish was illegally working in your house cleaning and taking care of your kids for a dollar a day – so that you can Arnold Schwarzenegger her – but realize it’s a fantasy – because she’s not an illegal…and more importantly…because you don’t have a dollar a day to pay her if she was…sadness…

But she’s still Salma Hayek…and that’s all I have to say about that..

Posted in:Salma Hayek|SFW

Salma Hayek may be old, washed up, boring….because she’s rich and has made it in America as a Mexican import who barely speaks english, unless that’s just part of her act, where she milks being a Mexican you want to milk, and wish was illegally working in your house cleaning and taking care of your kids for a dollar a day – so that you can Arnold Schwarzenegger her – but realize it’s a fantasy – because she’s not an illegal…and more importantly…because you don’t have a dollar a day to pay her if she was…sadness…

I guess she’s in some midlife crisis, or pulling out the old content she shot and never used, for GQ Mexico…in her second media blitz for Mexico in a day, maybe she’s running for President there…or maybe she’s got a new movie…or maybe she’s calling favors to get the attention she SEEKS…who knows…but good fucking job…reminding us why you exist…THEM TITS. Solid…yet so soft and juicy…like a ripe Mexican Avacado i want to stick my dick in….and fuck…because I am that dude you can’t leave rotting fruit around…I’ll just fuck it.

Posted in:Salma Hayek|SFW

Salma Hayek is on the cover of GQ Mexico because she’s their biggest breasted star that has penetrated American mainstream movies while we can assume American mainstream movies or the people who have made them, because how else does a poor Mexican make it in America…

Maybe it has to do with great tits, or maybe it has to do with Mexico being awesome, where there are rich people, an celebrities of their own, while America is something like 45 percent Mexican who like their Mexican people in their new country to feel connected with the old country…

I think it’s just fascinating that tits can make a woman still matter so many years after first introducing them to us….it’s some Day of the Dead shit and she’s like a zombie…never dead…even when she’s supposed to be…

Posted in:Salma Hayek|SFW

When I look at these pics of Old Timer…Salma Hayek, who is looking her age, but who still has big tits, because that’s what happens with tits as they get older, they get biggers, sloppier, and ironically enough, less fun to play with…I don’t get excited about Salma Hayek, there are so many younger hotter girls than her, I’m not nostalgic about tits or about Sofia Vergara before she was Sofia Vergara….

I think about the aspiring actor who got cast to play the sausage. What’s going on with his life, where’s he going after this, who does he live with…does he find this fun and awesome…his brush with celebrity…is this why he moved to LA in the first place…or is he a refugee you see on the side of the rode in Statue of Liberty costumes hustling tax returns…

Its about the sausge not the lettuce being used to symbolize tits…

The other thing I think about is how much I hate Seth Rogan and Judd Apatow and their garbage, low hanging fruit that works…comedy…

The worst…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Salma Hayek|SFW

This is great….I wish this was my shirt..I wish this was my design…such a silly idea…but when Salma Hayek wears it to the Hospital after hitting her head…shit’s done good, and the life of the viral T-shirt, that is really an awesome t-shirt happens…

That’s not to say if I did produce this shirt, an idea I’m sure every dude has had at least once over the last 20 years, that mine would be the one wearing it…but it is to say whoever made this shirt – is going to sell 1,000,000 dollars worth of them…

This is what she had to say:

I had to be rushed from set to the ER for a minor head injury. Unfortunately my wardrobe for the scene was completely inappropriate for the hospital. Thank you to doctors Foster and Ellspermann for taking such good care of me! And don’t worry it didn’t make me any crazier than I was!

Posted in:Salma Hayek|SFW

I wonder where Salma Hayek’s life would have ended up if she looked like most of the Mexicans I know…all Mayan and built short, stalky, with no neck…often times 30-50 lbs overweight because of all the corn tortillas they eat at the Mexican restaurant they work at or sometimes own…trying to milk the taco and burrito crazy to white people of the north…looking for a taste of the south…especially on birthday parties or office lunches…complete with Sombrero’s and crushed Ice Maragritas…racists…

I am assuming…she’d probably still be in Mexico…but lucky for you she’s got the dumbest fucking tits around…and here she is showcasing them in the most insanely, non-subtle way…it’s like BEACH balls or some shit…on the level of Trashy, or Elvira…like she knows it’s all we care about…because its all we care about…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Salma Hayek|SFW

Here’s a little, or should I say big…big and old…Salma Hayek, our favorite Mexican, who is actually a Mexican and not a Mexican for practical marketing purpose, like Eva Longoria or Jessica Alba, reaching out to that Mexican fan base, because Mexicans love their own, but rather an actual Mexican, used as the Mexican who can barely speak english, because she can barely speak english, getting cast and avoiding digging tunnels under borders or working the hotel industry changing shit and blood covered sheets thanks to white people, thanks to her tits…her big fucking tits…or as some shitty sites will like to call “her floaties”…because they basic…while I just look at the fuckers…I don’t really care to discuss this shit…

Here’s a Jazzy edit of her in a bkini….that I posted last week…

Posted in:Salma Hayek|SFW

Salma Hayek was out in public in a bikini…and there’s nothing sexier than a woman with massive tits we all used to jerk off to in the 90s…who still has those tits because she hasn’t had breast cancer …still rocking the bikini….while probably going through menopause because she’s old..which would explain why she’s boxy….

No wait, there’s nothing SEXY about a woman a woman with massive tits we all used to jerk off to in the 90s…who still has those tits because she hasn’t had breast cancer …still rocking the bikini….while probably going through menopause because she’s old..which would explain why she’s boxy….

I mean…except fo the tits…they are big…

Here are the pics set to some Jazzy Jazz

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Posted in:Salma Hayek|SFW

Salma Hayek, like most women who haven’t had breast cancer…has tits…but unlike most women…her tits have given her a career as the goto Mexican seductress in movies she’s never won an Academy Award for, but that she has pulled her tits out for, because her tits are the whole reason she’s in the fucking movie in the first place…our system is still dated like that…

Well…here she is with her tits at an event…only this time with more wrinkles…since she’s probably pushing 60 by now..but still doing what it is she’s been doing for a long time…because you can’t teach an old dog new tricks and why would you want to when they are so big and round and lovely like this..

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Salma Hayek|SFW