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Archive for the Salma Hayek Category

2022

11

Feb

Salma Hayek Ass of the Day

At a certain age, even with billionaire narcissistic celebrity trophy wives need to get their picture taken from half a mile away.

Living that GOOD FROM FAR but FAR FROM GOOD life that I am sure has had you check out at least one long hair biker on a road trip’s ass, thinking “oh yeah, look at that biker chick’s ass”…only to catch up and realize girl’s got a beard because she’s nto a girl at all….but rather a biker…

But yeah, even kind of girl who gets everything she wants, who has access to all the top fitness programs, the top fitness trainers, the top dieticians, the top chefs, the top plastic surgeons, the top face injections, the top baby blood transfusions, the top MEXICAN stem cell treatments that are illegal here, but that are not illegal to rich Mexicans….to make people as hot as they can to defy the aging process…even though their pussies are still 100 and rotting from the inside out…..

Then there’s the whole photoshop, digital retouching, post production, augmented reality filters for the he internet feeds, where life REALLY happens….now that we are all transhumanist drones dialled into the HIVE…or grid…thanks INTERNET for sucking…..and for LYING to us about how hot a bitch actually is…

But from that 1/2 mile away, I’m into the big Salma ass, it’d just be better if it was her big tits….since big tits at all ages can be fun…I know because I am a daytime stripclub patron where the old strippers go to die…and where I go to grab titty….you see, tits outlast ass when it comes to their expiration date….you can find a granny with a hot tit, but you’ll never find a granny with a hot ass….not even a famous one like SALMA…who I thin we should call SALAMI…because it sounds more delicious.

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Posted in:Salma Hayek|Salma Hayek

2021

30

Nov

Salma Hayek Got Them Tits On of the Day

Salma Hayek may be 300 years old, but thanks to some Mayan ritual in her native of Mexico with Harvey Weinstein, that may or may not have involved some sort of Human Sacrifice to the demons who decide what a celebrity career in the USA looks like, which I guess involves big ol’ titties…she still looks pretty fucking hot.

I’ve heard she was rich in Mexico, which allowed her to become richer in America, and now the richest in Europe because her husband and baby daddy is some billionaire…

That ‘some’ billionaire, is coincidentally the owner of Gucci, so you’ll know why she’s in this new silly Gucci movie staring a bunch of American people, putting on fake Italian accents, that have been rumored to sound Russian, because “Italian-Face” or “Italian Cultural Appropriation”….doesn’t really get the haters of the internet mad…they just like Gaga, Hayek, Leto and the other people in it….and can’t cancel those demons.

Anyway, old as shit or not, I am a fan of Hayek, she’s an icon and so are her very expensive tits, that we’ll assume weren’t touched inappropriately by Weinstein, you know because I am sure he didn’t fuck ALL of them….but MAYBE he did…

Fascinating stuff…

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Posted in:Salma Hayek

2021

19

Jan

Salma Hayek Boobs of the Day

Salma Hayek is amazing and if you don’t believe me, check out her MONSTER BOOBS….as she takes on instagram like a low level influencer despite being a HUGE fucking star who has been paid huge fucking money as the hot busty Mexican in Hollywood movies…and because of that is in a position to show influencers how the professionals get it done….because they already have the money, they have the fame, they don’t need to pretend what they are doing on social media is meaningful since it’s their only clout, audience, credibility, and they can treat it like the fucking joke that it is….and with that comes better content, whether it’s got her tits in a bikini or not….

So despite hating celebs, I hate influencers more, and some celebs I don’t hate, like Salma Hayek, who always seems like she’s having a good time, or like she’s gamed the system and we’re in on the celebrity joke with her…and even at 50…bitches can’t compete and that’s saying a lot since I’ve been conditioned to think women die at 30, hence their eagerness to trap a man and start baby making at 30…

ANYWAY…she’s the real fucking deal and unlike the other influencers trying to find sugar daddies to buy them designr clothing, Hayek married the son of the guy who owns all the designer brands….her husband’s family are French billionaires who own a bunch of the top luxury brands….because she just does it better on all fronts…even when she’s not trying…

BIG fan of these BIG boobs…

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Posted in:Salma Hayek

2020

12

Aug

Salma Hayek Titties in the Pool of the Day

Salma Hayek is more than just Mexican Titties, I mean I assume she likes to think that she is, but to me, she’ll always just be Mexican Titties, because her tits are huge…

She’s probably in her 60s now, in some pre-retirement home kind of environment, or would be if she was a basic blue collar worker who is dying of all the diseases that come from being low income….but instead she was a rich kid, who made in in America as a celebrity, who landed a billionaire husband, and who can focus on being rich as shit, famous as shit, and still just a set of tits…

I am not a huge fan of old ladies trying to be hot, despite being an old man just trying not to die of a heart attack or stroke, but clearly not trying enough….but when they are rich, they are usually cleaned up nicely enough, that their old dry mom cunts smell like fancy perfumes and not the impending death you’d expect them to smell like…

So here she is floating with the floaters like she wasn’t old as shit….because tits, when shot from a far and pushed up to your old hag neck, aren’t that gross.

Posted in:Salma Hayek

2020

02

Jul

Salma Hayek is MILKING her Youth with a #TBT of the Day

Some 50 year olds like J.Lo do everything in their power to look as good or better than she did at her peak of scamming the world into buying into her being a Hispanic Sensation, despite not knowing how to speak spanish because that’s just how fake this bitch is whether her heritage is Puerto Rican or not…she’s a scam….

While others do what the internet allows us to do – and posts up pics of her when she was at her peak…..

Salma Hayek is all about using the tits for attention, a career in America….despite being rich before hollywood, after hollywood and not even because she’s married to a billionaire….

I like the strategy. Jerk off to the archive…because the current’s not as good. You don’t always need the new nudes from the bitches, when Old nudes do just as good! Tits today are tits of yesterday when in photo form…I’m a philosopher, I know.

Posted in:Salma Hayek

2020

20

Feb

Salma Hayek TIts Out of the Day

Salma Hayek Good at Instagram

Salma Hayek is being brave. If I’ve learned anything from watching the Golden Girls over and over again over the last 20 years….it’s that an old girl should never look at herself in the mirror looking down…gravity does some shit and it reveals everything they are trying to hide like how old they are…so always fuck on your back on on all fours…being on top is the TRUTH serum you want to avoid…UNLESS you’re jacked up with face fillers and BOTOX like all the celebs are.

This is a celebration of Salma’s hair, with some gratuitous tits, thanks to her being from the “Old School” when being a celebrity was at the closest it ever was to being a sex worker…use the tits, cocktease the right people, fuck the right people, get a career….whether you’re rich or not…it was manipulate the weak little bitch producer who could never get laid before being rich…get work…and matter.

Now she’s married to a billionaire, so she’s just doing this to keep up her legacy…to keep it all up and running…her husband being a rich dude is for sure a cuck….they all are and having dudes jerking off to her like she wasn’t 50…and she’s doing it with the tits.

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Posted in:Salma Hayek|SFW

2020

05

Feb

Salma Hayek Wet Latex of the Day

Salma Hayek Wet Latex for LOVE

Salma Hayek is a pretty fascinating set of tits because despite being married to a billionaire and living that billionaire life, and despite having a lucrative career in Hollywood of her own, thanks to her tits, and I guess the fact that she was likely rich as most of the big titty Tijuana girls are working the Donkey Shows, not the TV shows, so it is safe to assume that this Mexican comes from privilege because you don’t need to be a white person to experience privilege…despite what the activists of the internet tell you…any ethnicity or culture can be privileged…as long as they are rich…anyway the rich girl from Mexico, turned Rich and Famous girl in the USA, turned Billionaire wife she still uses her tits for attention and that’s awesome….

Then again, it’s very possible that her husband is behind this, because rich dudes are fucking weird, with all their weird fetishes, and having his wife reduce herself to just being a set of tits for a magazine is what he gets off to. People are cucks, people like to see their wives fucked by big black cock unprotected in hotel rooms while they jerk off, and those aren’t even rich people….those are just average perverts into making a whore out of their wife cuz they find it hot….so maybe this is his version of that….

Or maybe she’s just reminiscing now that she’s made it on all fronts of the times she would show up to castings with her wonderful tits, when she was just a set of tits on a small Mexican frame who spoke broken english, which could just be an act….when they would look at her and say “I think these tits will be good in so many movies, let’s make it happen”….you know some Nostalgia since she’s old as shit…but doesn’t matter…they are still carrying her figuratively….as she carries them…literally…and this shit is a nice and sleazy use of the…even if it’s for fashion….

More

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Posted in:Salma Hayek|SFW

2019

29

Nov

Salma Hayek No Panties of the Day

Salma Hayek Booty

Salma Hayek’s husbands family just bought Tiffany & Co for 16 billion dollars and this is a celebration of her divorce settlement provided she ever leaves him….

No wait, I googled it, her husband’s family owns another LUXURY BRAND EMPIRE FROM FRANCE worth billions, but not the one that bought Tiffany & Co, but let’s assume that they probably bid on it and lost out to LVMH, so they sent the daughter-in-law / Trophy Wife the empire was able to import from MEXICO for the son of the empire….to post this shot of what could be her asshole if only that dumb dress she’s in was pulled over to the side the way the Hollywood producers used to position her panties back when they were casting her in their movies for her tits…and to prove that they weren’t racist…cuz she was lurking around thanks to being rich in Mexico and able to buy her way into America instead of digging a tunnel or climbing a fence / wall or buying a plane ticket and not ever leaving until the agencies finally sign you for your tits and get you that work visa…NOT THAT IT MATTERS….

What matters is that Selma Hayek despite being old is still slutty, despite being rich as fuck on her own, and even richer as fuck through marriage….she does it for the love of being jerked off to…it is just the wrong kind of slutty, since this isn’t her tits.

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Posted in:Salma Hayek|SFW

2018

09

Aug

Salma Hayek Tits on Vacation of the Day

Salma Hayek Tits in Black Bikini 4

Salma Hayek is old but so am I, so with that I can still point and laugh at discriminate, but at the same time I can still appreciate a set of monster tits.

You see, when I was a young pervert, I would think that life after 30 made a girl obsolete, dead like her sex appeal, and back then…it was long ago…life expectancy was only 40 so I wasn’t that far off from the truth…but as things have evolved….more and more women have been taking care of themselves and by the age of 20 I realized there can be 50 year olds, even 60 year olds I would fuck cuz they still look good. It was few and far between, as most women just got lazy and gave up…but it happened…and now with social media, all these people are forced to stay fit and looking good, their feeds rely on it, so so many more 40 – 60 year old women are poppping up that are worth a fuck…even if as a concept it’s disgusting….

So…what I am saying Salma Hayek….felt old even when she was younger than me starting up at this…I’ve just always viewed her as a hot older lady…and that’s not just my Mexican pride, seeing as I am half Mexican… I just support all she does like the sturdy bikini top she’s wearing cuz her monster tits are still monster tits…and I will forever love them for that.

Here are her tits boucnin

Salma Hayek Tits in Black Bikini 2

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Posted in:Salma Hayek|SFW

2017

22

Aug

Salma Hayek is an Action Adventure Set of Tits of the Day

Salma Hayek reminds us that there’s something magical about tits, or women, or tits and women, or maybe it’s women with tits, and that is that they can turn everything into an erotic porno scene…even something as innocent as being tied up and busting out of a sports bra / tank top looking thing for social media…sure she’ll pretend she’s repelling on some nature adventure excursion, but we all know what’s actually going on here…a FETISH…

Her caption is that she’s got another Action movie still in her, but I think what she means is that she posted this for you to imagine yourself being in her.

Perverts…we’re all fucking perverts….even those of you looking at the blue helmet thinking that she looks like a giant dick head…while the rest of us are looking at the tits.

Posted in:Salma Hayek|SFW