Here’s a 3 or 4 day old picture of Salma Hayek that I think I original saw on People Magazine’s feed because People Magazine is coming to terms with people not giving a shit about celebrity gossip, and the only people still around for anything celebrity are the 40+ crowd looking to jerk off to their old classic celeb favorite’s tits…

Works out nicely for Hayek, who has made a career with the tits, one that got her bought by a billionaire, allowing her to continue using her tits as if it is all she knows, because it is probably all she knows, since she still can hardly speak english despite making a career as an english speaking actress, because why bother learning complex languages when you can put on the thick accent to just let everyone know you’re only here cuz the tits….all this to say the old timer’s STILL got the tits and they are in a bikini.

Posted in:Salma Hayek

HER EYES ARE UP HERE!

I just saw these pictures of Salma Hayek, the old as shit billionaire wife who was built up in Hollywood before being forced into marrying the billionaire she married, but who is still an iconic celebrity, which doesn’t say much in this world of no one being a celebrity, and she still has those tits that made her famous in the first place, CANCER HASN’T GOT THEM YET, despite her old age and statistics saying it probably will…

So yeah, if you look up from her designer billionaire fetish outfit pushing up her old tits, you’ll see a face that looks like it’s been pasted on, stapled on, maybe like a FACE filter or AI since nothing is real, or maybe just wonky photoshop and filters and it freaks me the fuck out….

This reminds me of when I used to crop people’s FB profile pics onto porn pics, which is now illegal and can get you arrested but hat the time a great gag…and I have NO photoshop skills…level up rich bitch…hire someone better…

Posted in:Salma Hayek

Salma Hayek’s in Cannes because she’s a French billionaire’s wife, no longer a Mexican border jumping Celebrity who stole jobs from the stateside Mexican Americans because of her monster sized tits and the fact that she was already a bratty rich kid in Mexico. She started out winning.

She’s old as shit, but not too old to understand how face filters or photoshop works, ERASE THAT FACE GRANNY or more importantly, how the whole internet social media content works, all you need to do is show a little skin and tease the phone camera, far easier than having to go on set somewhere, you bring the set with you.

Old as shit, weathered old ladies holding onto a dream are better when their tits are out….unfortunately for us, this fetish is bath robe oriented, not tit oriented and that seems like a fucking waste, like not collecting tampon applicators you see in the recycling bins on recycling day to taste test knowing they’ve been in a cunt!

Posted in:Salma Hayek

Salma Hayek posted a picture of her going dick to dick with Channing Tatum because I guess they are in the same movie about male strippers, you know millionaires or in her case billionaires mocking the people have to be gay for pay to afford their rent and their cocaine…not that people don’t want to be gay for pay in this era of everyone being gay, but it’s sill mocking sex workers….and making money off their backs and that’s just mean.

Anyway, Hayek, the billionaire’s wife and Mexican tits we’ve grown to love posted a series of pics recently and it looks like she either found facetune, other AI filters, or even a paper mask, because she looks fucking mental in her pics….is that even her or is this a boardwalk caricature or bad photoshop of her face cropped on, I just don’t know…but I’ll still look at the old lady tit.

Posted in:Salma Hayek

Salma Hayek may be 300 years old, but thanks to some Mayan ritual in her native of Mexico with Harvey Weinstein, that may or may not have involved some sort of Human Sacrifice to the demons who decide what a celebrity career in the USA looks like, which I guess involves big ol’ titties…she still looks pretty fucking hot.

I’ve heard she was rich in Mexico, which allowed her to become richer in America, and now the richest in Europe because her husband and baby daddy is some billionaire…

That ‘some’ billionaire, is coincidentally the owner of Gucci, so you’ll know why she’s in this new silly Gucci movie staring a bunch of American people, putting on fake Italian accents, that have been rumored to sound Russian, because “Italian-Face” or “Italian Cultural Appropriation”….doesn’t really get the haters of the internet mad…they just like Gaga, Hayek, Leto and the other people in it….and can’t cancel those demons.

Anyway, old as shit or not, I am a fan of Hayek, she’s an icon and so are her very expensive tits, that we’ll assume weren’t touched inappropriately by Weinstein, you know because I am sure he didn’t fuck ALL of them….but MAYBE he did…

Fascinating stuff…

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Salma Hayek

Salma Hayek is amazing and if you don’t believe me, check out her MONSTER BOOBS….as she takes on instagram like a low level influencer despite being a HUGE fucking star who has been paid huge fucking money as the hot busty Mexican in Hollywood movies…and because of that is in a position to show influencers how the professionals get it done….because they already have the money, they have the fame, they don’t need to pretend what they are doing on social media is meaningful since it’s their only clout, audience, credibility, and they can treat it like the fucking joke that it is….and with that comes better content, whether it’s got her tits in a bikini or not….

So despite hating celebs, I hate influencers more, and some celebs I don’t hate, like Salma Hayek, who always seems like she’s having a good time, or like she’s gamed the system and we’re in on the celebrity joke with her…and even at 50…bitches can’t compete and that’s saying a lot since I’ve been conditioned to think women die at 30, hence their eagerness to trap a man and start baby making at 30…

ANYWAY…she’s the real fucking deal and unlike the other influencers trying to find sugar daddies to buy them designr clothing, Hayek married the son of the guy who owns all the designer brands….her husband’s family are French billionaires who own a bunch of the top luxury brands….because she just does it better on all fronts…even when she’s not trying…

BIG fan of these BIG boobs…

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Salma Hayek

Salma Hayek is more than just Mexican Titties, I mean I assume she likes to think that she is, but to me, she’ll always just be Mexican Titties, because her tits are huge…

She’s probably in her 60s now, in some pre-retirement home kind of environment, or would be if she was a basic blue collar worker who is dying of all the diseases that come from being low income….but instead she was a rich kid, who made in in America as a celebrity, who landed a billionaire husband, and who can focus on being rich as shit, famous as shit, and still just a set of tits…

I am not a huge fan of old ladies trying to be hot, despite being an old man just trying not to die of a heart attack or stroke, but clearly not trying enough….but when they are rich, they are usually cleaned up nicely enough, that their old dry mom cunts smell like fancy perfumes and not the impending death you’d expect them to smell like…

So here she is floating with the floaters like she wasn’t old as shit….because tits, when shot from a far and pushed up to your old hag neck, aren’t that gross.

Posted in:Salma Hayek