Unlike other women her age, Salma Hayek is not spending her government issued old age pension at the casino on the slot machines while pissing herself in her adult diapers because her pelvic floor muscles are weak from years of being banged the fuck out.

She’s a rich old lady, so she can afford the diet and exercise programs, the hormonal stem cell therapies, the cosmetic procedures, the high paid photographers and after effect masters of photoshop to carry on as if she was still that overrated 30 year old Mexican actress that is really not that hot, but has a set of rockin’ tits, that made her hot enough, or that made us ignore her bulldog looking man-jaw.

She was sold to a billionaire family, the dude wanted to breed her as billionaires do, seeking her at any cost and getting her because these women are all whores…

We’ll assume part of her appeal tot he billionaire was that everyone was jerking off to her because she was marketed as hot, so in being a faggy rich guy, he wanted what everyone else wanted and can’t get, that’s the whole point of being rich…so he forces her to continue producing the smut for the jerk offs because it’s how he gets off in his weird rich person sex dungeon….and that’s actually far less creepy that the sex dungeons of the other rich people who only get off by killing and skinning hookers they never get arrested for killing because they are rich….

Posted in:Salma Hayek

There’s an episode of the Golden Girls where Blanche realizes what she looks like to a spectator looking up at her from above….and how her sex must be in the laid down position from then on because it pulls everything back where gravity has turned on them with the standard 50 year old woman rot…

So Hayek, who really wasn’t very hot in her youth but who was marketed to us as if she was, is still producing jerk off material to the fans like an OF model holding onto the dream, but rich enough to do it for free or charity as hand outs, because her billionare husband clearly likes dudes jerking off to her and order her to do this kind of thing, because that’s the reason he bought her.

With her laying back, tits to her chin, one piece suit hiding the old lady gut….she’s doing alright…

Posted in:Salma Hayek

Salma Hayek may have erased her old lady face in these pics, she’s a billionaire’s wife and can do whatever she fucking wants, you jerks.

She’s sharing a moment of mindfulness, where like all the assholes on social media who push new age meditation weirdness and enlightenment for a profit, she had her camera crew there to capture the moment, because nothing says zen, or connecting with your spirit or whatever these assholes think they are doing when they meditate, like posing for a camera while you do it…

I guess any excuse to showcase the tit is a good one….granny knows.

Posted in:Salma Hayek

Salma Hayek is a very famous set of tits. She’s also very rich, at least you’d assume she was rich, since her husband’s family own all the luxury brands and also own the hot tits they see in the movies that they decide they want to breed in a point to the screen after seeing one of her movies and saying to “Daddy” or whatever they call their “Daddies” in France where they are from, probably somthing like “Pere or Papa”, see I speak French you fucks, but he goes “Papa, JE veux LES Seins sure le Television”…or some shit and daddy, being the billionaire tyrant sweat shop owning tyrant that he is makes it happen then buys her talent agency to further control the situation.

It happened, these tits did it….and here they are getting squirted on and sprayed down like an old lady car wash fetish video but fancier since it’s yacht shit.

Posted in:Salma Hayek

Salma Hayek is in a silver dress, because she’s old as shit, in her silver years, but she’s married to a rich fuck, so I guess it’s probably a platinum dress, it’s more expensive. Not to mention, her rich husband owns all the designer brands, so she gets the special treatment.

She is laying in what looks like packing peanuts.

We can either assume that she’s paying tribute to her being human trafficked to her billionaire husband after being human trafficked to the Hollywood industry via Mexico…BORDER patrol…

Or she’s a robot that the husband had built in her image that he sends around to events, while the real Hayek is dead in the basement after one of their fights. It’s self preservation, they need to keep up appearances and pretend that the original Hayek is alive, because otherwise they’ll know he did it. It’s always the husband.

Posted in:Salma Hayek

This is Salma Hayek pretending to be the trad wife, making pancakes in the kitchen of what probably isn’t even her house, because she’s an actor and actors fucking lie.

I’ll post the old lady because I’m into the trad wife movement, exhausted from all the whores out there either scamming or getting rich off the backs of losers like us, or even whores out there getting rich of brand deals, or whores out there living that rich instagram lifestyle like every other robot plugged into the matrix by fucking the right dude strategically….

But I am sure at Salma’s hardly the Mexican most Californians have working their kitchens, she’s probably more of the Mexican who hires the Mexicans through some house manager that handles her billionaire life….but I’ll buy into the lie…

It’s just unfortunate that the actress billionaire playing the trad pancake making wife doesn’t do it with more tit out, since she’s got the tits, it’d make the trad life hotter than some ill-fitting pyjamas…

Posted in:Salma Hayek

Billionaire wife Salma Hayek posted a throwback Thursday of a nude shoot….

The Lebanese Mexican set of tits that changed the fucking Entertainment industry in part because her husband bought CAA the power agents who ran Hollywood, because that’s what you want out of your sugar daddy…you know, to have them own the industry you work in…but also because of her big tits and over the top Mexican accent that inspired the likes of Sofia Vergara to play up because clearly there is a fetish for it….titties and accents….

I don’t know what this shoot is from, but since I’m a fucking Dinosaur, it’s probably been posted here when it came out, but let’s upcycle or recycle content, that’s fucking trendy in this climate change economy….trendy like BIRIA….

I don’t know if this is before or after she fucked Robert Rodriguez for her breakout role, I don’t even know if she fucked Robert Rodriguez for that movie and my only real comment about this shoot, besides the feet for the feet fucks is that she’s all DULCE LECHE…and NO CHURRO…

So it’s hardly the kind of gaping nude I need…but it’s still an old bitch relieving her youth, recycling old pics like a fatty on a dating app and there’s something nice about that because it means they thought they were hotter then, no matter how hard they play empowered hot old lady….no one wants to be old…even if they are hotter than the other olds, cuz they still old.

Posted in:Salma Hayek

Here’s a 3 or 4 day old picture of Salma Hayek that I think I original saw on People Magazine’s feed because People Magazine is coming to terms with people not giving a shit about celebrity gossip, and the only people still around for anything celebrity are the 40+ crowd looking to jerk off to their old classic celeb favorite’s tits…

Works out nicely for Hayek, who has made a career with the tits, one that got her bought by a billionaire, allowing her to continue using her tits as if it is all she knows, because it is probably all she knows, since she still can hardly speak english despite making a career as an english speaking actress, because why bother learning complex languages when you can put on the thick accent to just let everyone know you’re only here cuz the tits….all this to say the old timer’s STILL got the tits and they are in a bikini.

Posted in:Salma Hayek

HER EYES ARE UP HERE!

I just saw these pictures of Salma Hayek, the old as shit billionaire wife who was built up in Hollywood before being forced into marrying the billionaire she married, but who is still an iconic celebrity, which doesn’t say much in this world of no one being a celebrity, and she still has those tits that made her famous in the first place, CANCER HASN’T GOT THEM YET, despite her old age and statistics saying it probably will…

So yeah, if you look up from her designer billionaire fetish outfit pushing up her old tits, you’ll see a face that looks like it’s been pasted on, stapled on, maybe like a FACE filter or AI since nothing is real, or maybe just wonky photoshop and filters and it freaks me the fuck out….

This reminds me of when I used to crop people’s FB profile pics onto porn pics, which is now illegal and can get you arrested but hat the time a great gag…and I have NO photoshop skills…level up rich bitch…hire someone better…

Posted in:Salma Hayek