I know these pictures are old by Internet standards, meaning they were out yesterday. I wasn’t going to post them, but I fucking hate this over-rated bitch and needed to discuss….She’s a fat and she’s obsessed with dressing like a 1950’s pin-up girl, an era when fat girls were considered hot. So here she is confusing all you fucks into thinking she’s the next sex icon like Marilyn Monroe with her bleached hair, her red lipstick, pale skin and her 1950’s style high-waisted jeans emphasizing her birthing hips, when really all she’s got is an unhealthy food addiction, like this one bitch I saw on Oprah who said getting gastric bypass surgery was like losing a best friend…I can only assume that when Johannson realizes she can’t act and when you realize that she’s fat, she’ll really pick up the pace with this emotional eating thing making her Jesus Martinez marriage material, because let’s face it, I have no standards. Cuddles.

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I know these pictures are old by Internet standards, meaning they were out yesterday. I wasn’t going to post them, but I fucking hate this over-rated bitch and needed to discuss….She’s a fat and she’s obsessed with dressing like a 1950’s pin-up girl, an era when fat girls were considered hot. So here she is confusing all you fucks into thinking she’s the next sex icon like Marilyn Monroe with her bleached hair, her red lipstick, pale skin and her 1950’s style high-waisted jeans emphasizing her birthing hips, when really all she’s got is an unhealthy food addiction, like this one bitch I saw on Oprah who said getting gastric bypass surgery was like losing a best friend…I can only assume that when Johannson realizes she can’t act and when you realize that she’s fat, she’ll really pick up the pace with this emotional eating thing making her Jesus Martinez marriage material, because let’s face it, I have no standards. Cuddles.

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Scarlett Johansson’s only problem is that someone told her that she was cute as a kid. I am thinking we can thanks her perverted uncle, her mom and dad and probably all of her parent’s friends and teachers who always drilled that into her 6 year old brain. This encouragement unfortunately gave this bitch an ego. Instead of developing an eating disorder, depression, and daddy issues like a normal teenager, she went to auditions, got parts and here she is now. Lucky for us, media and every dude at the sci fi convention is hard for her, only perpetuating the lie that her career and life are based on. Here are some pictures of her for you useless fucks.

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I don’t understand the Scarlett hype. Why are guys going crazy over this chubby piece of shit. It kind of reminds me of this time I went to the local strip club and had to watch some fat french piece of kitchen garbage in a leather skirt dance around to Marilyn Manson with her shitty drawn on eyebrows, fat black nail polished fingers and rock hard goth attitude. After her stage show, she came up to our table and started talking to us. I always feel awkward around these bitches cuz they just want my money and cuz they can’t speak my language, so I drop the usual bullshit like “so you come here often” and “how old are you” and “what do you recommend on the menu”, because they had a price list of the dances you can get….so she explains in broken english that we have options to “Touch” or to “Not Touch”, but if we go in more than one person we can’t touch and she recommends an erotic bed, 15 dollars a song plus 2 dollars per person. I start asking what kind of tricks she pulls on the erotic bed, because she is fat and as we all know fat girls aren’t so limber because their GUNTS get in the way. So she tells us she’ll finger herself, I tell her I’ll only pay if she inserts 4 fingers to the knuckle, she says she needs three songs to prep up, so we agree on 3 fingers in 2 songs. I go to the back room with my Lawyer and she drops her pants and bitch has the biggest pussy I’ve ever seen, I’m talkin she can smuggle chinese babies into the country if she needed to make an extra 100,000 dollars (I saw that on Oprah). My lawyer even asked her if she had kids because it looked like her uterus was sticking out. Anyway, after 2 songs she got the 4 fingers in (to the knuckle) and kept fingering her asshole and it was the best 20 dollars I have ever spent. Point of this post is to say Scarlett Johansson is that stripper, but the actor version.

Bonus:

Scarlett is a self-righteous bitch who feels like the Paparazzi are invading her privacy, because she is more important than all other celebs and shouldn’t be bothered with all the shit that comes with “Fame”, while living in her nice house, and driving her nice car and practicing tantric sex with her lame actor boyfriend…I like to consider the guy who posts the pics on the internet and writes about how she looks better than ever because she’s covering up her “becky from Roseanne” face more of a harasser, but I realize she’s only covering up because she doesn’t want to be seen with a black person. That racist cunt.

Cuddles.

Posted in:Scarlett Johansson|Unsorted

I don’t understand the Scarlett hype. Why are guys going crazy over this chubby piece of shit. It kind of reminds me of this time I went to the local strip club and had to watch some fat french piece of kitchen garbage in a leather skirt dance around to Marilyn Manson with her shitty drawn on eyebrows, fat black nail polished fingers and rock hard goth attitude. After her stage show, she came up to our table and started talking to us. I always feel awkward around these bitches cuz they just want my money and cuz they can’t speak my language, so I drop the usual bullshit like “so you come here often” and “how old are you” and “what do you recommend on the menu”, because they had a price list of the dances you can get….so she explains in broken english that we have options to “Touch” or to “Not Touch”, but if we go in more than one person we can’t touch and she recommends an erotic bed, 15 dollars a song plus 2 dollars per person. I start asking what kind of tricks she pulls on the erotic bed, because she is fat and as we all know fat girls aren’t so limber because their GUNTS get in the way. So she tells us she’ll finger herself, I tell her I’ll only pay if she inserts 4 fingers to the knuckle, she says she needs three songs to prep up, so we agree on 3 fingers in 2 songs. I go to the back room with my Lawyer and she drops her pants and bitch has the biggest pussy I’ve ever seen, I’m talkin she can smuggle chinese babies into the country if she needed to make an extra 100,000 dollars (I saw that on Oprah). My lawyer even asked her if she had kids because it looked like her uterus was sticking out. Anyway, after 2 songs she got the 4 fingers in (to the knuckle) and kept fingering her asshole and it was the best 20 dollars I have ever spent. Point of this post is to say Scarlett Johansson is that stripper, but the actor version.

Bonus:

Scarlett is a self-righteous bitch who feels like the Paparazzi are invading her privacy, because she is more important than all other celebs and shouldn’t be bothered with all the shit that comes with “Fame”, while living in her nice house, and driving her nice car and practicing tantric sex with her lame actor boyfriend…I like to consider the guy who posts the pics on the internet and writes about how she looks better than ever because she’s covering up her “becky from Roseanne” face more of a harasser, but I realize she’s only covering up because she doesn’t want to be seen with a black person. That racist cunt.

Cuddles.

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I heard about these pics on some Canadian Gossip Television earlier today. I didn’t really act on it and hunt down these pics because I find Scarlett Johansson over-rated. She’s chubby and you can tell that bitch has attitude, like that she’s some kind of real talent or some shit that takes her job way too fucking seriously and thinks she’s way more important than she really is. I actually have no idea what I am talking about, but something about her makes me want to punch her in the face, and I am not talking about punching her with my dick. She’s dating Josh Hartnett, which I think it totally appropriate cuz he’s a total cunt too. Someone I met once had gone on a date with Josh Hartnett here in Montreal. The whole night he kept talking about his hair in Wicker Park and how hot it was. I am not fucking lying, I just don’t remember who it was who went on the date, but I do know that it happened because I don’t make up stories about people as lame as Hartnett, especially when the true stories are way funnier than anything I could think of. It seems like a lot of losers think this bitch is hot so here she is in a Bikini, masturbate while you still can, because eventually your prostate will be the size of a grapefruit too. Motherfuckers.

Bonus: The Slob In NYC

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The following is being posted for no other reason than these are really sexy pictures of Scarlet Johansson.

Enjoy.

After the jump.

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Everyone on the net has been lookin’ for this video clip of Scarlett Johansson holding her breasts. Well, once again, Magnifico rises to the task, and delivers.

This is the entire scene, as far as I know, and if it’s your only reason to see the movie, now you don’t need to.

Video clip: Scarlett Johansson holding her breasts (mpg)

Clip hosted on ezShare, so be patient.

We’ve also got pictures after the jump.

Posted in:Scarlett Johansson|Unsorted

Everyone on the net has been lookin’ for this video clip of Scarlett Johansson holding her breasts. Well, once again, Magnifico rises to the task, and delivers.

This is the entire scene, as far as I know, and if it’s your only reason to see the movie, now you don’t need to.

Video clip: Scarlett Johansson holding her breasts (mpg)

Clip hosted on ezShare, so be patient.

We’ve also got pictures after the jump.

Posted in:Scarlett Johansson|Unsorted