Boobs Archives Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2013

23

Apr

The World’s Best Boobs According to NUTS of the Day

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Nuts brings the hard hitting journalism with their World’s Best Boobs issue. The best boobs being based solely on girls who they have taken pics of, or who work for them, with a few other trash cans in the mix, in what I can assure you are not the World’s Best Boobs in any way, but instead a worthless list, used to sell copies, to their low grade readership of retard bros, who live their mindless blue collar lives, with their fat useless wives.

But that doesn’t mean I’m not gonna post their list, because shit, any boob list, even if full of shit, skewed and a lie, still have boobs, and I’m a mindless blie collar with a fat wife, so it speaks to me.

I’m just aware of how ridiculous this feature is. It is on par with CNN’s coverage of any and all news events, you know thanks to being a tabloid owned by the government and all…

I mean any list that includes Aubrey O’Day and Kim Kardashian in it loses all credibility…

To See The Pics in Higher Resolution
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:Boobs|NSFW

2010

27

May

Kate Moss Topless on the Beach Pictures of the Day

6 Comments »

Kate Moss gets dirty on the beach, because let’s face it she gets dirty everywhere, but that’s just something that happens when you have unprotected sex with people who have shared needles and fucked numerous groupies on the regular, like every one of her rockstar boyfriends that she is drawn to because I guess models like rockers and rockers like models when they aren’t too busy banging teenage fans at their concerts, and none of that matters, cuz she’s topless, and AIDS is a non issue since we’re not fucking her, and since you can’t get AIDS for looking at pictures of her topless, lonely perversion can be a pretty good fucking deal sometimes….and this is one of those times…

More pictures of her older, fatter, boxier and a far cry from the skinny model we grew up wanting to fuck…but she’s still good enough to look at cuz you can’t get AIDS from lookin…..I think I said that already….to come…

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Bikini|Boobs|Kate Moss|Topless

2009

30

Mar

Kim Kardashian’s Big Ol’ Tits of the Day

7 Comments »

Oh shit – more Kim Kardashian. I figure writing about her once a day isn’t enough, I need to really just fixate on her, you know maybe change the site to only be about her, I’ll call it something like OfficalKimKardashian.com or some shit, and I’ll post all the exclusive stories about her, but I have a feeling that’s already gone down and is just another genius idea that I’ve slept on over the course of my life as a failure….

Posted in:Boobs|Kim Kardashian|Tits

2007

15

Oct

I am – Britney Spears Cleavage Pics of the Day

1 Comment »

I am not that interested in Britney Spears, because I am convinced this bitch is doing all this for record sales. I am talking her custody battle, her head shaving and all that vagina slipping.

I am pretty interested in the 2 ambulance drivers who were in line for coffee in front of me, not cuz I am a fag but because they were. They were both flaming queers and I didn’t realize that flaming queers do much more than being ridiculously fabulous at their cocaine sex parties. I was a little confused how they ended up in this line of work, I figured that maybe it was the hope of saving other fags from drug overdoses on the night shift, or maybe the fact that they get to see lots of men half naked, or at least they can get men naked when they are trying to save their lives. I was also confused as to how they both ended up on the same shift, because if I was a boss, I’d never let the queers work that closely together unsupervised because within the first few minutes they’d be sucking each other off….but then I realized that maybe all the downtime of waiting for old people die is a great gig to have if you can work with someone who will suck you off.

Speaking of fags, here’s some Britney cleavage pics because I’d totally fuck her tits up the ass.

Related Posts:

Britney Spears Upskirt Pictures
Britney Spears Bikini Wig Pictures
Britney Spears Ass Shot in Panties

Posted in:Boobs|Britney Spears|cleavage|Unsorted

2007

12

Oct

I am – Lindsay Lohan's Hot Tits of the Day

1 Comment »

I think Lohan is the hottest thing out there. I don’t really know why, because she’s really not all that hot, but there’s just something about her that makes me feel like a natural woman and by natural woman I mean pervert who wants to see her naked.

I was talking to some girl last night who was wasted and she asked me if I liked to fuck donkeys because I was fat and Mexican looking, I responded by saying that I don’t fuck donkeys but I wouldn’t mind fucking her because her cunt probably smells like a barn, but in reality I am a married man and would much rather make out so I could taste the cum from the last 5 dudes she’s fucked that day on her mouth, not cuz I am into other dude’s cum, I am not gay like that, but I am all about sluts.

Here are some pictures of Lohan’s Big Fucking Tits in Utah where she’s moving for some snowboarding dude she met in rehab, but I am sure it’s just a phase and she’ll relapse soon enough, let’s just hope that relapse happens on my dick.

Related Posts:

Lohan Brings in the Sunshine
Lohan Gets a Pedicure
Lohan Touching Her Toes
Lohan Pickin’ Her Wedgie

2007

12

Oct

I am – Lindsay Lohan’s Hot Tits of the Day

1 Comment »

I think Lohan is the hottest thing out there. I don’t really know why, because she’s really not all that hot, but there’s just something about her that makes me feel like a natural woman and by natural woman I mean pervert who wants to see her naked.

I was talking to some girl last night who was wasted and she asked me if I liked to fuck donkeys because I was fat and Mexican looking, I responded by saying that I don’t fuck donkeys but I wouldn’t mind fucking her because her cunt probably smells like a barn, but in reality I am a married man and would much rather make out so I could taste the cum from the last 5 dudes she’s fucked that day on her mouth, not cuz I am into other dude’s cum, I am not gay like that, but I am all about sluts.

Here are some pictures of Lohan’s Big Fucking Tits in Utah where she’s moving for some snowboarding dude she met in rehab, but I am sure it’s just a phase and she’ll relapse soon enough, let’s just hope that relapse happens on my dick.

Related Posts:

Lohan Brings in the Sunshine
Lohan Gets a Pedicure
Lohan Touching Her Toes
Lohan Pickin’ Her Wedgie

2007

28

Sep

I am – Heidi Montag in a BIkini of the Day

5 Comments »

I just spent 10 minutes trying to figure out if these bikini pics are old or not because I feel like they are, but decided fuck it, I am going to post them anyway, because bikinis brighten up our day and because I have no editorial standards. Speaking of bright days, I had a bowl of cereal today, and the milk was sour. That’s pretty much the kind of days I always have. I ate the shit anyway because I don’t have money to buy milk and it was the last of the cereal. It tasted like shit and probably will rape my insides, but that’s just what hard living is all about.

I can only assume that’s what Heidi Montag’s baby’s going to feel like as long as he’s breast feeding, because her tits look like they are going to pop and the silicone will probably make her milk sour and her baby retarded, not that he wouldn’t be retarded in the first place, but I am just saying….

I wonder how many boys teased her growing up about being flat chested. I wonder if they used to call her flat things, like Heidi Mont-Flat, because kids are mean like that and whatever they did they gave her a complex. Maybe one of her ex boyfriends would make her fuck with her shirt on and told her that when she takes it off it reminds him of fucking a dude and he can’t stomach that shit, or maybe he just would always talk about how hot her friends tits were.

The new tits she would rather die than not have are like a new lease on life. She’s like a whole new girl, and in these pictures she looks like a lame party slut, one who will let her friends and strangers see how awesome the new tits are, even if fake tits are never awesome, but she’ll never realize it because getting fake tits in the first place means you think fake tits are hotter than your little awkward uneven tits everyone used to laugh at…..

The point of this post is that new tits and hot body don’t take away from the fact that she needs a new face, it may take a little focus off her ugly, but she’s still ugly. I can’t get this sour milk taste out of my mouth so that’s where this post ends. Goodbyes are never easy….maybe we should just leave it at See You Later….it’s easier that way….

Related Posts:

Older Heidi Montag Bikini Pictures
Even Older Heidi Montag Bikini Pictures
Lauren Conrad Bikini Pictures

2006

07

Feb

Scarlett Johansson in Vanity Fair

4 Comments »

I saw these pics last night. They bore me. I am posting them so Twitch knows that anything he submits, I have already seen. I don’t mind submissions, but I do mind motherfuckers linking out to celebrity blogs I hate within my comments. I don’t give a fuck about this bitch or her nasty fat ass. This isn’t the 1940’s motherfucker, fat bitches aren’t welcome in my house, except my wife, but technically it’s her house, I don’t have very good credit.

Posted in:Boobs|Scarlett Johansson|Unsorted|Vanity Fair

2006

02

Feb

St Tropez Tits

3 Comments »

Kylie Minogue

Elle McPherson

There’s something really sexy about France. Everytime I hear a french word I get a little tingle. I am not a well travelled man, I’ve been to a handful of places, and I am not here to discuss my pathetic life, I am here to say that in St Tropez which is in the South of France according to google, bitches go topless. Lucky for you these pics are topless pics of semi-famous bitches. Now Kylie still has tits and hair so I am not sure how recent these are, but the McPherson pics look new. Bitch is gettin’ thick, like a nice pair of wool socks. The irony of this picture is that bitch is washing her cooch, she’s in france, french bitches don’t know what washing means, all they know is cheese, bread, wine and pubic hair. I fuckin’ love pubic hair. I know this post was just a waste of your time, probably a lot of time to some of my semi-literate readers, who mulled over this for 45 minutes, just realize I woke up with a wheeze, and think I may be dying. Cuddles.

2006

01

Feb

Lisa Loeb Bra

19 Comments »

If you scroll down the page about 3 posts you willl see pictures of Lisa Loeb in her thong. I already said all I had to say about her, other than tease her for wearing glasses and having small tits, that’s right 4-eyes 2 x 4, why don’t you keep your fucking tits in your shirt. I take that back, I want my life to be like an episode of girls gone wild, I’m talking getting flashed everywhere I go, like the bank, in church and by the kids at the daycare I volunteer at. That would be hot.

Posted in:Boobs|Bra|Lisa Loeb|Uncategorized|Unsorted

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