I guess Shakira has decided to enter the popstar movement again. I assume she’s another one of these celebrities who say Taylor Swift rock a billion dollar tour, while every other popstar was being lazy, only to reclaim her position as most important pop artist because she’s Spanish speaking and so internationally famous that she gets in trouble for tax evasion….not that you have to be famous for that, if anything being famous helps you tax evade better so that you don’t get caught…so I guess she just manages her shit like an idiot.

Anyway, if Taylor Swift can make a billion dollars, so can Shakira and she’s going to prove it. Her small and humble breasts that you shouldn’t confuse for mountains have apparently released a new pop song.

Not only is she doing some interatcial content, which I think isn’t really interracial when you’re Colombian and raised with all shades of brown, so it’s not some diversity and inclusivity bullshit.

But she is doing the song with Cardi B, so you know she’s desperate for views and also that she’s in her 50s, because she’s in her 50s, and using Cardi B to connect to a new Audience when Cardi B’s boring, vile and forgotten, is really idiotic tactics.

The smart tactics are the use of Archery in some nerdy fetish Comicon looking Fantasy lingerie….because nerds fucking love archery and the chicks in lingerie who do it.

Either way, the near 50 year old Divorcee’s looking alright if you’re into that kind of thing.

I am more interested in escaping this timeline and hoping people find NEW popstars to obsess over instead of these grannies…let these people die off already…

Posted in:Shakira

Shakira may not be as disgusting looking as most 55 years old, but that doesn’t mean she’s not 55 years old or that she should behaving like she’s still in her 20s.

If you take a card out of the J.Lo book, you’ll realize that it’s very fucking cringe when listening to a 55 year old use slang like she’s still young, or dancing choreographed hiphop dances like she’s at the fucking club, when really she should be in bed at 9 to curl up to a good book.

So I don’t really like seeing these bitches drop this kind of shit, like they aren’t 55 years old, all because they are motivated after seeing Taylor Swift make 1 billion dollars off her tour, when knowing they are less clunky and put on a better show than her….

Thanks to pop culture’s lack of evolution, we’ve got Katy Perry, J.Lo, Aguilera and a bunch of others pulling out new albums and setting up tours to mooch off the willing to spend fans….

Money Shakira the Tax Evader will definitely Evade Taxes on….

It will be a show that doesn’t involve her shitting on stage like G.G. Allin, but that does involve her in a shitting on stage pose….

Posted in:Shakira

I didn’t give a fuck about Shakira or her music during the height of her career, she was always just a whatever to me, regardless of all her latin ass shaking, but now that she’s in her 40s, many years after making her first 100 million dollars, because she’s one of those SUPER fucking famous internationally types, thanks to her hips not lying, or that Mama Africa song for the World Cup….bringing her to shake her old ass with J.Lo during the Superbowl…

But that disinterest in Shakir shifts when the popstar posts a pic like this to her IG to celebrate her custom bikini, which I interpret as regular bikinis don’t fit her ass, the mom, who is based in Spain, and probably not celebrating labor day, because every day is labor day…even when not in labor…but birthing or at least keeping that ass alive all these years when she could have just got fat counts for something…I mean she’s middle aged…

Posted in:Shakira