Here’s some news that isn’t news…but that’s good enough for me cuz the actual news is boring. Ignorance is ideal. It makes panic about the end of the world far easier to deal with…
Don’t Monetize God…
Pole Dancing for Jesus
Pole dancing as a workout is nothing new. Over the past few years, independent studios have popped up all over the country, but there is a very unique type of pole dancing class here in our area.
Vicious Bullying Attack on 9-Yr-Old Because of Buck Teeth
Connor Middleton isn’t sure why 3 boys, all much bigger than him, singled him out to pick on.
Here’s the latest news that isn’t news but that’s good enough for me cuz it is more entertaining that watching Japanese houses and nuclear plants get washed away….
I wonder if anyone even watches these…I can safelty assume I’m just wasting my time…it is kinda what I do…haven’t quite figured out why…
See, I’ll see some of these posted on other sites in a day or two and be like – shit I should learn marketing….cuz you can’t be a first mover on shit if no one knows you exist….
Pastor Calls Flock Devils, Demons
Members of the small congregation at Houston Unity Baptist Church said when they refused to give the pastor their tax refunds; he refused to give them their communion.
Albany ‘Kegs and Eggs’ riot
The number of Albany college students charged after weekend “kegs and eggs” parties turned riotous has topped 40 and city officials are vowing to use revelers’ cellphone videos of the mayhem in the investigation.
Live Roaches Scatter Ad’s Message
Live cockroaches draw crowds at Dallas billboard
Boy body slams bully – The Latest internet sensation…that is hilarious….
I don’t think any news will ever be as important as yesterday’s guy with 84 Julia Roberts Tattoos , but I figure I might as well post these news that aren’t really news cuz i figure we’ve got our own problems and don’t need to deal with the depressing problems of Japan natural disasters and Arab disasters that are laying the groundword for the end of the world, 2012 motherfuckers, because lets face it, they just aren’t that important cuz they aren’t as fun….if anything they are sad and depressing, and who needs that…life is depressing enough without their problems that will soon be our problems..
Here’s some good light hearted stepNEWS….
Snake Dies of Silicone Poisoning
A snake that bit Israeli model and actress Orit Fox in the chest died after being poisoned by an unusual venom — the silicone in the buxom blonde’s surgically enhanced breasts.
Sink hole swallows cars
City crews are working to secure the area around a sinkhole near the Humboldt Bridge in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.
Woman Freed after ‘Horrific’ Kidnapping
A North Texas woman survives a “horrific” two-week kidnapping and sexual assault at the hands of a man she rejected romantically, police say.
What’s Japan? Oh, that boring place that’s dominating our news, and making us miss such critical stories. Good thing I am here with the real news….Global natural disasters that kill tens of thousands of people haven’t got shit on these useless stories….I guess I’m just doing my part to keep America focused….I don’t think Japan appreciates this joke….
Man has 82 Julia Roberts tattoos
Student Says He was Cuffed to Cabinet
A former Grady High student claims in a new lawsuit that he was handcuffed to a filing cabinet at the school for about seven hours.
Student Hospitalized after Paddling
A 14-year old Mississippi high school student was rushed to LeBonheur Children’s Hospital for surgery Friday after he blacked out following a school paddling Thursday.
Video Catches Felon Punching Elderly Man
A Rosemont man who police say is a convicted felon was caught on camera shoving and punching an elderly man as he waited to use a restroom at a Northwest Side grocery last month.
Shocking Hit-and-Run Caught on Tape
Dallas police are still looking for the driver who struck a woman as she was crossing the street in a busy entertainment district. But this time they have shocking surveillance video that will help them prosecute their case.
Here is the news that isn’t the news to keep you up to date on totally ridiculous, even irrelevant shit going on in the world…that maybe you can use as a conversation piece to break the awkwardness when you spend your allowance on an escort cuz you’re tired of not getting laid…See, I’m here to help and I make you a better person…
Caught on Tape: Drunken Miguel Cabrera
Police were summoned to a Fort Pierce restaurant before Detroit Tigers star Miguel Cabrera’s DUI arrest last month because the first baseman allegedly threatened a manager and an off-duty fish and wildlife officer.
Man falls into tracks at North Station in Boston
BOSTON – A person who was unsteady on his feet tumbled onto the southbound Orange Line tracks at around 3 p.m today at North Station. Passengers rushed to his aid.
Alligator Used to Guard Pot Stash
California narcotics investigators raiding a home’s $1.5 million marijuana growing operation found an alligator guarding the stash.
Player ejected for tackling Borat impersonator
Fan sues after getting hit with hot dog
KANSAS CITY, M.O. – A baseball fan is suing the Kansas City Royals after getting hit in the eye with a hot dog.
Man sees Jesus, Mary on side of oven – LIAR!!!
PLAINVILLE – Look closely at this picture. To some, what you’re seeing is a pizza-making miracle. Josh Mather, of Mansfield, couldn’t believe his eyes.
Caught on Tape: Crook can’t get mask on
A would-be robber may want to practice with his disguise. A South Carolina convenience store caught this attempted robbery on camera.
Here is the news that isn’t the news…..clips no one watches cuz you are more interested in titties and celebrity bullshit to care about these lowgrade local news real life issues….
Teacher quits after students discover her porn past
Gilbert, AZ Teen a Playboy Sensation even though she looks retarded…
Most high school students spend their free time doing homework or going to the mall with friends. But you’re about to meet a valley teenager who gets paid to pose nude.
Student Expelled For Having Tattoo Gun
Instead of reporting to school each morning, 15-year-old Byron Preston is reporting for work in his father’s barber shop and nail salon. Byron was expelled from Laurel High School three months ago. He was found with a device called a “tattoo gun” in his possession.
Toddler Gets Ahold of Mom’s Narcotics
A 28-year-old Phoenix woman has been arrested after her 2-year-old child tests positive for ingesting methadone and cocaine.
A Scholarship For White Men Only?
There is a group in Texas called the “Former Majority Association for Equality” and they are are creating a lot of controversy for their scholarship program.
Woman Tried to Steal Baby by C-Section
Maricopa police are accusing a woman of attempting to kill her pregnant friend and take her unborn baby as her own.
Millions of Fish Dead In Redondo Beach – End of the World!
Man charged for taping student to chair
A Titusville man, who used to work as a Group Leader with the South Lake Elementary School After School Program, has been charged with child abuse after police say he taped a 5-year-old student to a chair with packing tape.
Bull Leaps Fence at Bull Fight
Amateur video captured dramatic footage of a bull jumping into the audience during a bullfight on Saturday in eastern Venezuela
Here’s the latest news that isn’t news…but that makes me feel like I am connected and tapped into the world, even though I never leave my fucking house, not that it’s a house, but more of a basement with painted black windows from all the soot from trucks that drive by and a coal burning stove, a soiled mattress in a corner dominated by a fat wife with sleep apnea who is a horrible housekeeper cuz she’s too busy eating, a cold concrete floor and nothing but happiness, okay enough about me, here’s the stepNEWS….makes me so angry I could trash a liquor store…
Woman trashes liquor store
A woman in Rockland County, New York takes her anger out on a few dozen innocent liquor bottles!
Doctors prove staring at women’s breasts is healthy
Neo-Nazi Message Sprayed on Side of Home
Imagine driving through your neighborhood and seeing hate words spray painted on the side of a house. A message on a home in Casa Grande encourages people to rise up and “secure a future for white children.”
Softball Coach Charged With Sex Assault
A former volunteer softball coach at Rochester Adams is accused of having sex with two female students. Thomas Powell, 58, was arraigned Saturday on charges he had a sexual relationship with two 17-year-old students.
Teen Cyclist Says He Was Assaulted in GA
A DeKalb County father and daughter are accused of assaulting a 13-year-old cyclist. The alleged attack happened after the cyclist said he told the man to watch out for bikes on the road.
Man Accused of Trying to Rob Nun
It was late, around 10:00 p.m., at Saint Clare Montefalco Church on Whittier in Grosse Pointe Park. A 74-year-old nun was locking the church after a mission service. What she didn’t know was a man was hiding inside the church and he had a gun.
Caught on Tape: Handcuffed woman slammed to the ground
Heidi Creamer was already in handcuffs. She was unable to fight back. She got thrown on the floor of a hospital by a Manatee county deputy.
NU President: Investigate Sex Toy Demo
The president of Northwestern University said Thursday he is troubled that a psychology professor invited a couple to engage in a sex act involving a motorized sex toy in front of dozens of students during a human sexuality class, and he is calling for an investigation into the incident.
Fewer Teens, Young Adults Having Sex
Moms, dads: The good news is abstinence is making a comeback.
East Coast Rapist Suspect Arrested
Authorities have identified a man they arrested in Connecticut on suspicion of being responsible for rapes and other attacks on 17 women since 1997 and dubbed the East Coast Rapist. Police spokesman Joe Avery says 39-year-old Aaron Thomas of New Haven was arrested Friday afternoon at his home by the U.S. Marshal’s Fugitive Task Force.
A morning ritual…similar to a greasy hangover dump…similar to a morning erection….similar to jerking off as you peep on your sister getting ready for school while sniffing a pair of her dirty panties you stole from the laundry room….here’s the stepNEWS that isn’t really news….
Controversy Over Live Sex Demo at Northwestern University
NU Responds to Sex Demo Debate
Northwestern University is backtracking it’s reaction to a live sex toy demonstration after a class on Human Sexuality.
Report: BYU Player Cut For Having Sex
Brigham Young University’s basketball stars are left plotting a way to win without starting forward Brandon Davies, who was kicked off the team for having sex with his girlfriend.
Teacher Pleads Guilty to Child Porn – He’s an International Rapist
A former teacher is facing a 25-year prison sentence after admitting to a decades-long pattern of molesting teenage boys in the United States and Japan.
Investigators: Student Poisoned Teacher
A small town teacher is recovering after drinking some tainted tea. Law enforcement officials said she was poisoned by one of her students.
Caught on Tape: Mother Slaps School Bully
A Florida mother is in trouble after taking a case of school bullying into her own hands.
Woman Forced into Trunk at Knifepoint
A woman is forced into the trunk of her car and taken for a ride. She was kidnapped from an apartment complex near Southern and Alma School Road, and eventually found a half-mile away.
Scorned girlfriend seeks revenge on ex
A scorned Florida woman has taken to Ebay to get back at her ex-boyfriend.
Priest arrested for intoxication, acts bizarre while in custody
An Ohio priest is expected to appear in court tomorrow after being arrested for driving under the influence. But it’s the priest’s bizarre behavior behind bars that has police officers concerned.
Naked Man Stuck in Manhole in Gilbert, AZ
Gilbert firefighters are puzzled Thursday morning after they find a person stuck inside a manhole — naked.
Here is some news that isn’t really news but that may be about you cuz if you’re reading this site I can only assume you are this retarded…..except maybe anything to do with having sex…trying to have sex maybe…but actual sex, no way cuz you have nothing to do with having sex pretty much ever….Sad…
GA Man Accused of Luring Teens for Sex
A Douglas County man has been accused of using social networking sites to lure teenage boys to his home for sex. Steven Lemery was in jail Wednesday night, charged with disturbing crimes against teenage boys.
TX Teen Jailed for Plot to Kill Ex
A teenage boy was arrested in a murder for hire plot. Police say he tried to hire friends to kill his ex-girlfriend.
McDonald’s Customer Say Maggots in Food
McDonald’s has launched an investigation into how maggots allegedly found their way into a Melbourne man’s burger.
Man sentenced for biting off ear
A Hingham man has been sentenced to two years in prison for biting off parts of another man’s ears during a fight.
I slept in…I’ve been high on Charlie Sheen …This guy, whether legit or not in his insanity or just doing some publicity spin CBS is totally behind, all to get the show higher ratings or not..His freestyling is amazing…his quotes genius….so I made a some shirts …..
Here’s the latest news that isn’t news….I mean other than my Charlie Sheen Quote Shirts which I think is the only news that isn’t news we need….
Students Disciplined Over Facebook Post, Calling Teacher Pedophile and Rapist
Two Douglas County students were suspended and one student was expelled after a negative Facebook posting about a teacher.
Senator’s Ex Tells Her Side of the Domestic Assault Story
A freeway fight between a state Senator and his girlfriend just got more interesting. Up until now — we’ve only heard Republican Senator Scott Bundgaard’s side of the story about what happened on the side of SR 51 Friday night after the two left a dance competition he was taking part in.
Del Taco Manager Accused of Harassment
Del Taco is being sued for the alleged sexual harassment of a female worker.
Clerk foils would-be armed robber
LYNN – The owner of a Lynn convenience store took matters into her own hands when a robber entered her store armed with a knife.
Brazilian Motorist Plows into Cyclists
At least nine people have been injured after a driver plowed his car into a group of cyclists staging a peaceful demonstration in southern Brazil, Sky News reported Monday.
