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Archive for the Summer Altice Category

2008

11

Aug

Boost Mobile Party Brings Summer Altice and Natasha Henstridge Out in Their Bikinis of the Day

Boost Mobile threw some kind of party this weekend and it lured all kinds of D-Listers and Hasbeens who put on their bikinis for the everyday person to feel like they are partying with people more important than they are, all while promoting Boost Mobile.

It reminds me of the DrunkenStepfather Hot Tub party I tried to organize when wasted Saturday night. I was doing my best recruiting young girls to come back to my place to get in their underwear, do drugs and rock out, but the only person I was able to convince to come to the party was some guy who was walking around in his underwear because he was so drunk that he lost his pants somewhere along the way that night, but I guess that probably worked out for the better, because it would have not only been embarrassing having everyone come back to my shit hole apartment to realize that the closest thing I have to a hot tub is some dirty bath tub no one uses that looks like a septic tank and that needs to be filled manually by water we boil on the stove….not to mention the only massage jets we’d get going would be me manning a straw and I just don’t have the lung capacity to fool even the drunkest girl into thinkin’ shit was a hot tub…..especially with my fat wife raining on my fucking parade by kickin’ everyone out. So I just left the pantless man and made my way home alone…..

Here are a couple of the no name useless sluts at the Boost Mobile party, because I like bikinis.

Natasha Henstridge….

Summer Altice….

Posted in:Boost Mobie|Natasha Henstridge|Summer Altice

2007

29

Jun

I am – Jodie Sweetin Goes to the Pink Taco Opening Party of the Day

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So this is that meth-head Jodie Sweetin who was Stephanie Tanner on Full House when she was a kid. She always took the backseat to the Olsens and from the way I see it, she was just an accessory to making them billionaires, while leaving her in the corner hating herself so much, unable to get work and turning to smoking meth. Think about it, you’re on the same show as these cunts and they don’t even have a fucking talking role because they are still in diapers, but for some reason they still build a fucking empire out of it, while you just fizzle off into nowhere, living in your parents shitty house they bought with your money, your big tits and all, you’d be hurting too…

Reality is that her tits are so fucking stacked that there is no way she was ever really addicted to meth. The way she can barely fit into her jeans makes me think it was some E! True Hollywood lie to get her back into the public eye, land her some interviews on TV and in Magazines and give her the opportunity to show the world she’s still around and by still around I mean her massive tits. This Bitch is all big and bubbly and trying to make a comeback. all the meth addicts I’ve known have had ratty fucking skin, emaciated meth bodies, no tits, yellow meth eyes and have been shaky, speedy, itchy anxiety ridden. I don’t think there is anyway that this bitch was on meth, I think it’s a way to launch a K-Mart product line and series of children’s books.

Either way, she is at the opening of Retard Harry Morton’s restaurant/club called Pink Taco. He’s Lohan’s ex boyfriend, son of the owner of Hard Rock Cafe, Grandson of Morton’s Steakhouse and I am assuming that dude wasn’t inspired by Lohan when he came up with this fucking stupid name, because if he had the place would be called “The Big Spotted and Scabby Red Cunt That Smells Like Shit From Rotten Cum From Other Dudes She had Raw Dog Sex With and Let Drop Load in Her and a Tampon She Forgot in there a Month Ago when She Was Drunk”, I don’t think that would have been so good for business, but he’s a rich kid, he doesn’t need the business to make money, it’s just his dad’s way of giving him something to keep his son busy with…

That Lohan Vagina joke was probably pretty obvious, but I am hungover again and just trying to get through the day….

Other People in Attendance of His Big Opening:


Jessica Alba With Her Extreme Face Close-Up


Some Chick Named Nikki Griffin I want to See Naked


Kristen Cavallari With Her Weird Tattoo


Summer Altice and her Muscles


Kimberly Stewart And her Stupid Outfit


Mary Carey and her Busted Face

Amy Smart

Posted in:Amy Smart|Event|Harry Morton|Jessica Alba|Jodie Sweetin|Kristen Cavallari|Mary Cary|Nikki Griffin|Opening|Pink Taco|Summer Altice|Tits|Unsorted