Opening Archives Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

Archive for the Opening Category

2009

Apr

Pamela Anderson at Some Stripclub Opening of the Day

Pam Anderson was at the opening of some NYC stripclub which was pretty obvious because that’s pretty much what her Hollywood career has been. You know big fake everything, fucking rockstars and guys with lame tattoos, getting STDs and now that she’s washed up and disgusting, it’s only natural that she go back to “den mother” all these girls just starting out, and I use the word natural very loosly.

I spend a lot of time in stripclubs, I know how these things work. I see the old haggard stripper who you wonder how she got where she got and why she’s still allowed to work and you realize that she’s been there for decades and can’t get fired and that she acts as a mentor to the other girls because she’s seen it all , and her daughter so happens to work alongside her to pay for her college and that together, they get naked for money and that they only talk to me when they are really really desperate for money and have been rejected by everyone else in the club, including the staff, so I know the whore game, and I know that despite Pam Anderson getting sidetracked along her true calling with that whole Hollywood, celebrity shit, it’s never too late to crawl back into the gutter position your fate had lined up for you, your tits, your fake hair, lips and fabricated, plastic sex appeal.

Posted in:Opening|Pamela Anderson|Stripclub

2007

Jun

I am – Jodie Sweetin Goes to the Pink Taco Opening Party of the Day

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So this is that meth-head Jodie Sweetin who was Stephanie Tanner on Full House when she was a kid. She always took the backseat to the Olsens and from the way I see it, she was just an accessory to making them billionaires, while leaving her in the corner hating herself so much, unable to get work and turning to smoking meth. Think about it, you’re on the same show as these cunts and they don’t even have a fucking talking role because they are still in diapers, but for some reason they still build a fucking empire out of it, while you just fizzle off into nowhere, living in your parents shitty house they bought with your money, your big tits and all, you’d be hurting too…

Reality is that her tits are so fucking stacked that there is no way she was ever really addicted to meth. The way she can barely fit into her jeans makes me think it was some E! True Hollywood lie to get her back into the public eye, land her some interviews on TV and in Magazines and give her the opportunity to show the world she’s still around and by still around I mean her massive tits. This Bitch is all big and bubbly and trying to make a comeback. all the meth addicts I’ve known have had ratty fucking skin, emaciated meth bodies, no tits, yellow meth eyes and have been shaky, speedy, itchy anxiety ridden. I don’t think there is anyway that this bitch was on meth, I think it’s a way to launch a K-Mart product line and series of children’s books.

Either way, she is at the opening of Retard Harry Morton’s restaurant/club called Pink Taco. He’s Lohan’s ex boyfriend, son of the owner of Hard Rock Cafe, Grandson of Morton’s Steakhouse and I am assuming that dude wasn’t inspired by Lohan when he came up with this fucking stupid name, because if he had the place would be called “The Big Spotted and Scabby Red Cunt That Smells Like Shit From Rotten Cum From Other Dudes She had Raw Dog Sex With and Let Drop Load in Her and a Tampon She Forgot in there a Month Ago when She Was Drunk”, I don’t think that would have been so good for business, but he’s a rich kid, he doesn’t need the business to make money, it’s just his dad’s way of giving him something to keep his son busy with…

That Lohan Vagina joke was probably pretty obvious, but I am hungover again and just trying to get through the day….