I have never seen these pictures of Lohan before because I am pretty sure they didn’t hit the internet yet, even though they are about 4 or 5 months old, but knowing me, they have. But they are of Lohan partying at some hipster bullshit like she tends to do and they were taken by ridiculously UGLY hipster-poser cunt Cory Kennedy.

I guess they landed in my inbox because I am the furthest thing from being a hipster site, which sucks for me because hipsters are the new GAP, and if I could seduce those following losers in American Apparel to read this shit, then maybe I’d get some decent fucking ad campaigns and buy myself a van to live in or a RV to go on the stepTOUR in.

Either way, those shitty pics weren’t enough for a post so I am also posting this new spread in Nylon Magazine of Lohan. In the event you don’t know what Nylon is, it is the bible of hipster lifestyle. The editors of this shit are GODS to these kids ,leading them into a life of half nakedness, cocaine addiction and designer clothes and laziness. I guess that’s why Lohan’s trying so hard to get a piece by sucking every LA hipsters dick. She doesn’t realize that all she’s gotta do to be cool is take a bath with me.

Maybe I am old and jaded, but I kinda liked it when the underbelly of society was left for the underbelly of society and rich kids stayed where rich kids belonged at country clubs and going to high society events and showering. That concludes this post. I just woke up.

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I feel like a real celebrity blogger. I got exclusive pics of Diddy being a scum bag because he’s too rich for his own good and can use that to own any slut he comes across and I am pretty sure the motherfucker does. To him the whole world is like that seedy part of town where the street hookers stand at the corner for people like us to do whatever we want to do to them at an affordable price, but in Diddy’s world, his street whores are the hot girls we can’t get with because they like to fuck wallets….I am not saying all women are whores, but people who fuck for money are….Anyway, here’s the story.

Diddy is checking out the people at the three pools at the Setai, exclusive and amazing hotel in Southbeach. there are many wonmen there who sunbath topless–especially the models who typically surroud the pool while lounging on beds. Anyway, Diddy walks by the pool area, then makes a final pass and stops just past our bed. He talks about something with his entourage, all wearing Sean John and all looking very confident and cool, and they all start laughing. Then one of the guyas from his entourage goes to one of the more beautiful girls by the pool who was sunbathing topless. They talk for a little while, she puts her top on and then is escorted by the guy from Diddy’s entourage back to Diddy. I got a pic of them shaking hands and talking. They appear to exchange numbers and when they finish talking the girl walks passed us–looking very excited and Diddy walks away with his entourage laughing up a store.

I am told he regularly rents out the $25 k a night penthouse duplex in the condo tower and hangs out at the Setai frequently.

Hope you enjoy….not great quality bc taken on treo 700p

I even tagged the fucking pics like the tattoo I once gave a girlfriend on her forehead so other guys knew who she belonged to if she ever ran away….I mean…Look at me I am all professional now…Keep sending in Scoops!!!

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I don’t know who Ali Larter is because I am bad at my job, because it really isn’t a job. I am pretty sure you could type this shit into google and you’ll find everything out yourself. It’ll give you something to distract yourself from hating your life for a few minutes, so think of my negligence as a blessing. I am just trying to help like I was your real life stepfather, teaching you how to ride your bike, but if I was your real life stepfather, I probably wouldn’t talk to you, because that’s your real dad’s job, my job’s to fuck your mom.

Anyway, this bitch is stickin’ her tongue out at us, because she’s funny, but not as funny as my friend Rocco who has a tongue fetish and always sticks his tongue out at girls to get them to stick their tongue back, so that he can reference that shit when he gets home and fucks himself, or makes love to himself, I guess the level passion and intensity depends on how tired or drunk he is.

That means that indirectly, this Ali Larter bitch is a fucking pornstar because I am sure my friend Rocco isn’t the only motherfucker out there who gets off to this shit. I kinda love when girls are being total dirty sluts without knowing, like she probably wasn’t thinking that guys will get off to this shit when she did it, she probably thought she was being cute, which I am sure Rocco would probably agree with her and add something like “and her tongue was so thick and purple it drove me nuts” and by nuts he would mean all over his belly. True Story.

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I don’t know who Ali Larter is because I am bad at my job, because it really isn’t a job. I am pretty sure you could type this shit into google and you’ll find everything out yourself. It’ll give you something to distract yourself from hating your life for a few minutes, so think of my negligence as a blessing. I am just trying to help like I was your real life stepfather, teaching you how to ride your bike, but if I was your real life stepfather, I probably wouldn’t talk to you, because that’s your real dad’s job, my job’s to fuck your mom.

Anyway, this bitch is stickin’ her tongue out at us, because she’s funny, but not as funny as my friend Rocco who has a tongue fetish and always sticks his tongue out at girls to get them to stick their tongue back, so that he can reference that shit when he gets home and fucks himself, or makes love to himself, I guess the level passion and intensity depends on how tired or drunk he is.

That means that indirectly, this Ali Larter bitch is a fucking pornstar because I am sure my friend Rocco isn’t the only motherfucker out there who gets off to this shit. I kinda love when girls are being total dirty sluts without knowing, like she probably wasn’t thinking that guys will get off to this shit when she did it, she probably thought she was being cute, which I am sure Rocco would probably agree with her and add something like “and her tongue was so thick and purple it drove me nuts” and by nuts he would mean all over his belly. True Story.

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Dog is a man’s best friend which is pretty appropriate because Jessica Biel has broader shoulders than a football player and probably has a dick, but since she’s in a dress and has tits, I consider her a chick for now.

I have this theory that dogs get to have all the fucking fun, I’m talking from panty sniffing to voyeurism, and if my insane friend from the park is right, and reincarnation exists, it’s a pretty good thing to be, especially if your master is a celebrity who buys you all kind of luxury items like the best damn bone in the city and spends their nights doing blow and fucking like champions while I watch. The only problem is that my friend in the park doesn’t only believe in reincarnation, but also that he can tap into his past life and runs around the park on all fours, barking at the bitches sun tanning, and shitting in the middle of the field, so either he’s a clairvoyant or dude should be institutionalized.

These pics of Jessica Biel look familiar, but I went through my archives and seems like they are new, or that I never posted, which is possible cuz I suck at blogging…but when her ass is stickin’ out like that, who cares when they were taken just be happy that they were taken….

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Dog is a man’s best friend which is pretty appropriate because Jessica Biel has broader shoulders than a football player and probably has a dick, but since she’s in a dress and has tits, I consider her a chick for now.

I have this theory that dogs get to have all the fucking fun, I’m talking from panty sniffing to voyeurism, and if my insane friend from the park is right, and reincarnation exists, it’s a pretty good thing to be, especially if your master is a celebrity who buys you all kind of luxury items like the best damn bone in the city and spends their nights doing blow and fucking like champions while I watch. The only problem is that my friend in the park doesn’t only believe in reincarnation, but also that he can tap into his past life and runs around the park on all fours, barking at the bitches sun tanning, and shitting in the middle of the field, so either he’s a clairvoyant or dude should be institutionalized.

These pics of Jessica Biel look familiar, but I went through my archives and seems like they are new, or that I never posted, which is possible cuz I suck at blogging…but when her ass is stickin’ out like that, who cares when they were taken just be happy that they were taken….

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I guess this ass isn’t so bad, but it’s still covering Angelina Jolie, which isn’t such a big deal to me, because I don’t really give a fuck, but I can imagine that some of your creepy motherfuckers who have a collection of her pictures in a box in your closet, a hard drive full of every spread bitch has done and maybe even videos of you jerking off on glossy prints of her face, making the fantasy that much more realistic do care that this ass is covering what could have been a hot post pregnancy upskirt, my favorite kind of upskirt.

Either way, I’d let this ass, dance nude for me. Speaking of nude dancing, I had this friend who was rich, he’d hire girls to dance on his dinning room table. I’d go over and it was like my own little strip club. The dude was pretty fucked and everyday at noon, a 12 year old kid he hired wold stand outside his house everyday in a paperboy outfit screaming EXTRA, EXTRA, like it was the 1920. Dude, would run down, give him a quarter, take his paper and call him Timmy before start his expensive day…We were only friends for about a week, I actually accidentally met him, but it was a pretty fucking glorious time, I’m talking fully stocked bar and shit…

I guess that doesn’t have shit to do with Angelina Jolie or her tits and panties or who she is talking to, but I know that she’s not talking to you and that’s because you’re never going to get in up in her…Loser…

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I know that these have probably made their way around the internet the last few hours. I guess that’s what happens when there are about 1500 celebrity blogs out there and you have a lazy cunt like me trying to figure out how to add titles to a shitty Debbie Does Dallas Camera Phone Video for 10 hours last night instead of posting all the pictures every fucker out there is posting. The only reason I am posting these now, is because bitch looks better overnight and I am guessing that only happens with liposuction, but still worth around not that it changes anything for me, I would have still fucked her back when she was in the gutter, with acne, cellulite and no shoes on, if I could get it up because there is no whore too dirty for me at least that’s my life’s philosopohy.

I am actually pretty pissed off that bitch pulled her shit together and got dancing and singing in efforts to make a comeback that will probably work out for her. She’s been in the media consistently the whole 2 or 3 years she’s taken off work to have babies and be a fat lazy cunt, but as long as she wears booty shorts and fishnets, she’ll be getting airtime on my site…..if this is even considered a site, I like to believe it’s more of mistake on the part of people who invented blogging software giving people like me the chance to talk about Britney’s ass…

Point of the story is that I like gutter sluts more than refined, choreographed, popstars like Britney and I was really looking forward to getting a 10 dollar a song lap dance from her in 5 years, had she lost everything as I had planned for her. She has officially let me down even though she’s wearing her underwear in public…which more girls should do, and I’d advise you to tell them to, but realize you haven’t spoke to a girl since you were in grade school before you realized you wanted to fuck them, which was the last time you weren’t creepy.

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Here are some pictures of Gwen Stefani dressing close enough to a French Maid to make me never want to look at a bitch in a French Maid’s outfit again, even though I love that cheesy sexy shit that is so played out that every bitch rocks this shit for halloween which wasn’t a bad thing until Gwen Stefani ruined it for me. I feel like Halloween won’t be as good as it once was and now when every college slut on campus is rocking her variation of the french maid outfit, even if her variation involves no panties and an exposed cooter, even if her and her friend are going down on each other in the shower and a french maid party, my brain will go back to these Gwen Stefani pics poisoning me to never enjoy such an enjoyable thing again…

I guess the reality is that nothing will ever make me hate girls going down on each other, or girls dressed like sluts, but I had no other angle for the post and Gwen Stefani is pretty fucking busted, even when she’s showin’ off her long legs….

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