Here’s a little Brazilian bikini action because it’s cold where I am and I wanted to heat up the room a little with some hot pics of some hot brazilian model in some hot bikini that was probably taken somewhere hot.

Point of this post is to say I hate when people say “Let’s heat things up in here”, usually those people are strip club DJs and strip club DJs are pretty much the equivalent of dudes who sit at home all day jerking off to Internet porn, that means you. They all sound the fucking same. It’s like they go to strip club dj academy and learn the inner workings of pressing play on a CD player and introducing some bitch named Lemon Drop, like some secret society or school that only privileged greasy motherfuckers get to go when they turn 18, pierce their ear, gel their hair and unbutton their stupid shiny shirt…

Enough with my negativity, next on stage Lemon Drop with some hot Brazilian Bikini model action to heat up this winter day. Lemon Drop is available for lap dances for $10 a song, now go fuck yourself.

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I have never heard of the movie Venus. I never want to see the movie Venus. I have no idea who this bitch is. I have no interest in knowing who this bitch is. I’ve already seen her naked and my rule about women I am not married to is that once I’ve seen them naked, I am done with them. In theory the whole reason I talk to them is because I want to get them naked, so if the naked is already on the table day one, I can’t imagine a lasting friendship to ever happen. I guess with this no name actress who you can all IMDB because I am too fucking bored to, is that sometimes when drunk at 6 am after waking up in the gutter, I come home to my celebrity picture collection and have conversations with them like they were my very own Real Dolls. The reality is that they are better conversationalists than my fat wife even though they don’t talk back to me. I think it’s because my wife’s stink distracts me from everything she’s saying. Point being that in a lot of ways, I am already friends with this girl in my own way. If that didn’t make sense to you, it’s fine, you’re an idiot and I’m on a whole other level than you. Maybe one day you’ll make it here but until then, here are some shitty screencaps of some shitty whore, who doesn’t want to be my friend but still gives me all I need from her in picture. Asshole.

I gave in and checked out her name because I was curious, not because I am doing you any favors…and it’s Jodie Whittaker…

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I don’t understand the football draw. It’s the gayest fucking sport since Greco Roman wrestling, but only because the dudes are wearing more clothes and padding. I was going to live blog the Superbowl because I am a crazy blogger like that but didn’t get around to it, because the Superbowl is boring as shit, and even if me not knowing anything about football could have been funny, I don’t have TV and wasn’t about to sit at a bar with my computer. Instead I ended up at some local shitty bar that was playing the game and drank myself under the table. It’s 5:40 where I am, and I just woke up on the floor by the entrance to my apartment building, in the show. I don’t remember much from last night, but I do remember eating enough chicken wings to give me an ulcer…which isn’t saying much because I already have an ulcer, but you get what I am saying.

I don’t get what I am saying and that doesn’t really matter. I just know that I am going to bore you with my own kind of Superbowl Game. One that involves no football, or spandex pants. No male on male ass slapping, that you love and no shitty overpaid people winning red cars. There are no “Superbowl Commercials” that are going to be picked up and played over and over on the internet, giving people who don’t deserve the attention they’ve already got even more attention. In my Superbowl, it’s just a couple pics of a fat slut’s big titties busting out of her shirt and girl on girl making out that a reader sent in, because let’s face it, tits and girl on girl action is what football fans really need after getting hard for men for 4 hours yesterday….

This is my first installment of boring Monday Post to start your Boring Work Week of the Day. Maybe my next post will be better. Cuddles.

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So here are some pics of Britney at the Baby Phat show, kinda appropriate considering she’s got a gunt the size of a baby because this bitch is still r her own baby fat, cuz she couldn’t put her uterus on vacation between babies, or get an abortion like a normal girl.

The joke in all this was Britney Brings her Baby Fat to the Baby Phat show….it was a typical blogger obvious joke that only idiots will laugh at. That’s why you didn’t laugh, cuz no reader of mine is an idiot!

On a side note, I have been drinking beer since 4 and I am wasted. I guess the real funny in this post is that Britney is squeezing into a size extra small, which makes me question American Sizing. Either she’s an extra small in Maternity Wear or an extra small in fat chick clothes or extra small isn’t what it used to be anymore as more and more americans get fatter and fatter…..

Bonus That Isn’t Really A Bonus – Lil’ Kim’s Tits at the Same Show…

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I was watching a show on streetwhores at a friends house an the slag had the nerve to ask for 100 dollars for everything….I am guessing she means for 100 dollars she will fuck. I thought that was a little expensive, she was a street whore and street whores should be suckin’ dick for $5, that’s just the way it should be. Maybe she was upping the price cuz she was on TV. One of the John’s who hired her paid her to eat her out, now I don’t know how good of an idea that is, because she is a street whore and maybe they should be just for suckin condom protected dick. When they interviewed her she said that if you are a stay at home wife, fucking your husband, you still a ho, cuz he’s paying for your room and board for sex…..then they showed one of them in action and her cel rang. She said I am suckin’ dick right now, i’ll have to call you back…and I laughed cuz if I was a paying customer, I’d want her undivided attention. But dude landed a discount, got her for $50 and did her over the hood of the car. The condom broke and he came inside her, and she freaked out and he said “clean that off, is the cum dripping out? i like your cowboy hat”. I guess the point of all this is to say that you don’t decide to have a beard, you decide to not have a beard.

I do the stepLinks because I choose to do the links….The problem with doing the stepLINKS is that I go through a ton of sites everyday and a lot of them just post the same tired old content, and I post it all here for you to check out… Enjoy.

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Post pregnancy pictures are really fucking amazing. I remember asking a dirty piece of shit hipster who had a kid for before and after pictures of her box, then her bi-sexual boyfriend tried to cause shit with me. I remember when I was in a serious relationship before this whole marrying a fat chick phase of my life and she got pregnant. It was the closest time I came to being a father. We had some pretty important life talks about whether to keep the baby or not, then when we decided to keep the baby, we both decided to clean up our acts and stop the drinking and drugs. I got a job and found us a great new place to live. We decorated the nursery and decided we were going to finally be normal. I remember thinking how badly I wanted her to get a C-section to keep the goods in-tact, but she ended up getting in a car accident, losing the baby and leaving me for the lawyer that represented her case….That’s when a shattered me turned to drugs….Kinda like Denise Richards in these pics.

I don’t even thing she’s doing bumps and if she is, good for her, when I was an addict I couldn’t afford blow and would have died to have a lifestyle that allowed me to rip lines in paradise with the one I love. I guess all there is to say about these pics is that this bitch has made it.

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I got this email for someone who I assume reads this site. I am going to call him reader 12, because I think he’s emailed me before. We’re up to about 16 now but that’s not the point….

HEY JESUS,

LOOK @ THIS HOMO TO THE LEFT OF MRS HURLEY….LAST TIME I LOOKED, I THOUGHT WOMEN WERE THE ONLY ONES WHO GOT TRAMP STAMPS ON THEIR LOWER BACKS!

I am not really an authority on this shit, but I can assume that anyone who works at a model is a little ‘MO. I don’t really care whether a dude has a tattoo on his lower back or not and I probably wouldn’t have even noticed it if it wasn’t sent in to me. I am not about rip into someone about what gender they fuck, just as long as they give facials. I figure that at least they are getting laid, unlike you, virgin or me, impotent.

I will say that the gay I don’t like is DJ AM Gay, where a talentless fat dude becomes a celebrity DJ because he was in a shitty band that sang about butterflies. That’s gayer than male “tramp stamps” and by probably the only thing Gayer than Bicycle Shorts….

Here’s a weak 40 year old semi-nip slip from Liz Hurley’s slutty shirt.

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I got this email for someone who I assume reads this site. I am going to call him reader 12, because I think he’s emailed me before. We’re up to about 16 now but that’s not the point….

HEY JESUS,

LOOK @ THIS HOMO TO THE LEFT OF MRS HURLEY….LAST TIME I LOOKED, I THOUGHT WOMEN WERE THE ONLY ONES WHO GOT TRAMP STAMPS ON THEIR LOWER BACKS!

I am not really an authority on this shit, but I can assume that anyone who works at a model is a little ‘MO. I don’t really care whether a dude has a tattoo on his lower back or not and I probably wouldn’t have even noticed it if it wasn’t sent in to me. I am not about rip into someone about what gender they fuck, just as long as they give facials. I figure that at least they are getting laid, unlike you, virgin or me, impotent.

I will say that the gay I don’t like is DJ AM Gay, where a talentless fat dude becomes a celebrity DJ because he was in a shitty band that sang about butterflies. That’s gayer than male “tramp stamps” and by probably the only thing Gayer than Bicycle Shorts….

Here’s a weak 40 year old semi-nip slip from Liz Hurley’s slutty shirt.

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It’s Superbowl weekend and what better way to celebrate it than by sending some useless Entertainment Tonight reporter to some celebrity Superbowl promotional event. I know I am not the target market for the Superbowl, because I am not American and because I hate sports, but even if this bitch was doing this in a micro-bikini, I’d have no interest in watching it on TV.

I do have an interest in posting the pictures of the event, but I haven’t really figured out why. That’s enough of this.

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I understand why Christina Aguilera is rockin’ the Jewish outfit of the day. She’s married to a Jewish rich guy and I am guessing she had to convert to make that shit happen, not that she needs his money, but rumor has it that he thanked his parents at his wedding for giving him a huge dick. Christina is one of those girls who needs a dude with a big dick. You can tell by her latina stance that she can take more cock that your local chicken farmer. She’s bow-legged cuz her vagina is so big, it gets in the way of standing like a normal person.

Speaking of big penis, I tried luring the stripper into banging one of my friends. I told her that he had a huge cock, when she asked how I knew, I told her he was in porn, thinking that since she’s a stripper, she’d dig a fellow sex trade person. Anyway, she asked for samples of his work, sent her big dick porn videos and now she’s all into him…She’s probably going to be disappointed, but at least has access to that ass cuz it’s not like she’ll kick him out once his dick is in her mouth…

Point of all this is to say that, if you want to get a girl, just send her big dick porn…If you’re wondering why I call this outfit the Jewish outfit, you’ll have to check this Olsen Post , Lohan Post and Trachtenberg Post . They are probably not good, but it’s where I coined the term. Submit that to wikipedia asshole…

Bonus: Mena Suvari pics rockin’ a Jewish Outfit of the Day

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