About 5 year ago, every bitch who worked at a club was rockin’ low rise jeans, showin off their ass crack…There was a whole fucking movement based on showing the top of the ass, and it was called the new cleavage by the sluts who were doing it. Over the last 2 years, bitches everywhere, moved from Ass Crack Cleavage to the no bra, thin cotton shirt…showin the world the circumfrence of and color of their nipples….it was called the American Apparel movement. I don’t know what the next trend’s gonna be, I do know however that Michelle Tachtenberg’s a Jew and it’s Passover because Jew’s like 6 day holidays instead of 3/4 like the rest of the world and she’s showing her asscrack… I am just waking up and I don’t care about her asscrack, I am a much bigger fan of the anus, it’s just an inch away from the babyhole.

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I guess the good thing for Kylie is that her sister’s got enough tit to share with her in the event they amputate her shit cuz of the cancer. Call me ignorant, but one of Dani’s tits is big enough to fill an A-cup, provided you had the right tools to make it happen. I actually don’t find cancer funny, I think suspenders are though, they remind me of when I was younger and I used to get molested by the clown at the mall…Good fucking times, maybe I’ll write about it in my diary.

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I guess the good thing for Kylie is that her sister’s got enough tit to share with her in the event they amputate her shit cuz of the cancer. Call me ignorant, but one of Dani’s tits is big enough to fill an A-cup, provided you had the right tools to make it happen. I actually don’t find cancer funny, I think suspenders are though, they remind me of when I was younger and I used to get molested by the clown at the mall…Good fucking times, maybe I’ll write about it in my diary.

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Jewish girls are a good thing. They usually have rich parents who give them access to unlimited credit cards, that they use to get their hair done, their sephardi moustaches and cooters waxed, they rock designer clothes and if they are lucky get nose jobs, breast reductions/implants, braces by the time they are 18. They have solid educations for bright futures, they like to be seen and socialize, they rock cocaine harder than a rock band and they love pissing off their parents by fucking useless poor goyims, like me. The most exciting thing about Jewish chicks is that they all learn how to suck dick in summer camp when they are 14. They suck multiple dicks all summer long for 4 years straight, and if you land a Jewish chick who is about 22, you’re signing up for to get the best head of your life. When I was 27, I used to slam this 23 year old Jewish girl. At that point I had NEVER cum from a blowjob, I always had to finish off by jerking it or by slammin the girl….until I met Orit a 22 year old Israeli chick who changed my fucking life. Point of the story is, I don’t know if Portman sucked her first dick in summer camp and I don’t know if she’s good at giving head, but her dog does…..the dog also knows what facial expressions she makes when she shits and what her used panties look/smell like, even when she’s on the rag. The dog knows when she masturbates or gets fucked and here she is walking the little pervert like he didn’t see her pussy that morning…

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Jewish girls are a good thing. They usually have rich parents who give them access to unlimited credit cards, that they use to get their hair done, their sephardi moustaches and cooters waxed, they rock designer clothes and if they are lucky get nose jobs, breast reductions/implants, braces by the time they are 18. They have solid educations for bright futures, they like to be seen and socialize, they rock cocaine harder than a rock band and they love pissing off their parents by fucking useless poor goyims, like me. The most exciting thing about Jewish chicks is that they all learn how to suck dick in summer camp when they are 14. They suck multiple dicks all summer long for 4 years straight, and if you land a Jewish chick who is about 22, you’re signing up for to get the best head of your life. When I was 27, I used to slam this 23 year old Jewish girl. At that point I had NEVER cum from a blowjob, I always had to finish off by jerking it or by slammin the girl….until I met Orit a 22 year old Israeli chick who changed my fucking life. Point of the story is, I don’t know if Portman sucked her first dick in summer camp and I don’t know if she’s good at giving head, but her dog does…..the dog also knows what facial expressions she makes when she shits and what her used panties look/smell like, even when she’s on the rag. The dog knows when she masturbates or gets fucked and here she is walking the little pervert like he didn’t see her pussy that morning…

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I love Jessica Simpson. Not because she’s from the gutter of a trailer park in Texas, or because she can’t formulate a sentence, or because she let her dad molest her. It is because she looks good, even when she’s not rockin’ a bra. Most bitches with tits this big need to strap down just to keep their nipples from aimin to the ground. The other nice thing about Jessica is that she proved to the world that waiting until marriage to lose your virginity only ends in a divorce. You have to know what you’re getting yourself into before locking down…..that said, if you are reading this and you are a virgin, we will find someone to fuck you on the DrunkenStepfather.com Virgin No More Tour. I just came up with that concept, but I think it’s genius, especially considering 95% of my readers have never even held a girl’s hand, and the closest thing they had to a girlfriend was the fat Albino retarded slut with no fingernails in grade 6….and even that bitch dumped you.

Bonus – Her Wedding Thong:

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I love Jessica Simpson. Not because she’s from the gutter of a trailer park in Texas, or because she can’t formulate a sentence, or because she let her dad molest her. It is because she looks good, even when she’s not rockin’ a bra. Most bitches with tits this big need to strap down just to keep their nipples from aimin to the ground. The other nice thing about Jessica is that she proved to the world that waiting until marriage to lose your virginity only ends in a divorce. You have to know what you’re getting yourself into before locking down…..that said, if you are reading this and you are a virgin, we will find someone to fuck you on the DrunkenStepfather.com Virgin No More Tour. I just came up with that concept, but I think it’s genius, especially considering 95% of my readers have never even held a girl’s hand, and the closest thing they had to a girlfriend was the fat Albino retarded slut with no fingernails in grade 6….and even that bitch dumped you.

Bonus – Her Wedding Thong:

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Now, I dis Pam Anderson all the time, because I am a real jerk. She’s never done anything mean to me and she doesn’t even know I exist, even though I used to send her fan mail when she was still on Baywatch. Now, I am here, sitting on my high horse (this website, that really only 10 people read and 9 of those 10 people read it cuz they hate it)…thinking to myself that I’ve got to dis this washed up AIDS bitch….and when it comes down to it, I really don’t have the right to. How am I an authority on anything. She’s far more successful than I will ever be, she’s had far more people jerking off to her than I ever have, she’s fucked more people than I ever will, and despite her STDs from not using condoms with dirty people and her disgusting fake tits, bitch has a pretty banging body for a 45 year old. I know I always say that she’s only still around cuz we all used to jerk off to her in the ’90s, when blond pornstar fake bitches was considered hot…but did you ever think that maybe she’s around because she deserves to be around…or maybe it’s cuz it was her make a wish foundation wish for bitches dying of sex related liver disease… I wouldn’t know… I am just some useless fuck livin’ in canada. Cuddles.

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It makes people do things they really shouldn’t be doing. That includes bitches with nasty tits in a bondage outfit running and dancing around like a fucking retarded kid who just got his first helium balloon, waterhead motherfuckers love those things, until they let go of them and they float away, but it only takes about 8 seconds before they forget it ever existed, it is retards we’re dealing with here. Booze also makes old bitches get their tits painted, when the only type of painting they should be doing is Toll Painting because while they are still young enough to stand without a walker, but too old to get knocked up when you fuck their dried up menopausal wombs. In fact your orgasm is the only moisture that desert’s seen. Booze also makes the kind of girl who gets her cunt tattooed show it off, when you’d rather it be limited to her dyke girlfriend. Lastly, it makes Mom’s wear stripper outfits with no underwear, to show the world their cooters, the very same cooters that birthed her 4 kids. Booze sucks when people I don’t want to see naked, get naked.

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