It may seem ludicrous to you deadbeats that I pray to a hybrid elephant human creature but then again, the drunk Mexican in charge here prays to a goat with a large anal abcess. So mock my culture if you like. Just because I dry rub my virginal girl area with pungent spices is no reason to disgrace my heritage with your slander. All I have is my call center job in an industrial park in Bangalore, a three hour walk from the poor shanty where I dwell with my parents, five brothers and sisters and uncle. My uncle is not even my real uncle, just a psychotic old yogi who contorts his body in erotic positions while I stroke my tender clitoris under my sari. He eats daal all day and refuses to kill the ants and rats which live under my meager cot. All he ever gave me was a sculpture of sweet Ganesha that he fashioned from his own feces. I treasure it to this day and keep it under my desk at my horrible call center job. It smells of turmeric. My parents told me they will never find a man who will marry a girl with a feces Ganesha but I think they are wrong. Perhaps in America I will find such a man.

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Thanks to social services and the work program I was a part of, I landed myself a pretty fucking shitty computer. Being from Mexico and having a childhood that consisted mainly of playing with mud, donkies and wrestling masks, I was never really taught how to fix shitty computers. Mexicans aren’t tech support, we are garderners. Lucky for me, I call this 1-800 number to try and get my shit fixed, and I am forwarded to some Indian bitch, dot not feather, named Priti Sharma. She ends up telling me her life story about some upcoming arranged marriage and her life in Bangalore. I tell her about my site, that I don’t know what Bangalore is, and that I love eating pussy and it turns out she’s a fucking fan. I told her I want some culture on here, cuz all you cunts bore me, and she agreed to write for me. So, DrunkenStepfather.com officially has some brown estrogen on the scene. If she sucks at this, deal, she’s not from around here, and remeber, all her people are stealing your jobs, not because they are better than you, but because they are cheaper. Cuddles.

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This is a couple of weeks old, but I am not known for speed, especially when it comes to running away from the cops, delivering pizza, or moppin’ floors. Even if I do a ball of meth, I just crack out in the corner. I aint down with being speedy. So I come across Pam Anderson’s battered face two weeks later than everyone else with a blog, only because I dont read other blogs, so I got no idea what’s happening. I wouldn’t want to sacrifice my ignorance.

I always like being reminded that girls don’t keep their looks forever. All the pretty girls from my Highschool in Texas who wouldn’t let me get all up in them are probably obese bitches with droopy faces and miserable lives. Makes me feel good about eating out girl’s their daughters ages. Pam Anderson used to be a bitch we all wanted to fuck/jerked off to/watched suck off Tommy in the car and on the boat, now she’s lookin’ more like someone we’d only fuck with the lights off, who am I kidding, I keep thinking you punks actually get laid. It’s obvious that at this stage in the game – you are in no position to say no to a vagina, cuz let’s face it, pussy is pussy, and you can’t stay a virgin forever.
It’s funny how life works.

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This is a couple of weeks old, but I am not known for speed, especially when it comes to running away from the cops, delivering pizza, or moppin’ floors. Even if I do a ball of meth, I just crack out in the corner. I aint down with being speedy. So I come across Pam Anderson’s battered face two weeks later than everyone else with a blog, only because I dont read other blogs, so I got no idea what’s happening. I wouldn’t want to sacrifice my ignorance.

I always like being reminded that girls don’t keep their looks forever. All the pretty girls from my Highschool in Texas who wouldn’t let me get all up in them are probably obese bitches with droopy faces and miserable lives. Makes me feel good about eating out girl’s their daughters ages. Pam Anderson used to be a bitch we all wanted to fuck/jerked off to/watched suck off Tommy in the car and on the boat, now she’s lookin’ more like someone we’d only fuck with the lights off, who am I kidding, I keep thinking you punks actually get laid. It’s obvious that at this stage in the game – you are in no position to say no to a vagina, cuz let’s face it, pussy is pussy, and you can’t stay a virgin forever.
It’s funny how life works.

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Ashlee Simpson

Tera Patrick

Some other bitch

Fat Shakira “Cameltoe”

Britney Spears

I am not the most observant person. I sit in my drunken stupor and find excitement in the little, less important things in life. I like watching the two cockroaches in my bathroom have sex, at least I think they are having sex. It brings back memories of when I was homeless and people used to watch me and my girl Sally fuck in some pissed-up alley behind some local bar. The sex was amazing but the smell was horrible and by horrible I mean almost as bad these sluts who all went out and got themselves some black dress for the Billboard Music Awards. We are livin’ in an era where we can get fabrics in all colors from the China man, so I guess it’s just a statement that the Billboard awards are boring as shit, and by shit I mean death, like going to a funeral, or raping yourself with something sharp, like glass. I don’t fucking know, I said I am not that observant, I dont even know when the Billboard Awards were on. Remember, you can always suck my dick.

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I like strippers. I don’t think I have every said anything that would make you think that I don’t like strippers. I would eat my three meals a day at the stripper buffet if I could afford it, but being an unemployed mexican puts a damper on things. I am forced to turn to the computer, just like you,but the only difference is, I am not scared of the world and hiding in my mom’s basement. I am just lazy. Either way, I found this gallery called Suicide Stipper and it’s of some horse toothed bitch playing around in her underwear with a condom and a gun. I don’t understand why a stripper would be playing with a condom, that shit aint hot and condoms are for pussies not for strippers. They are professionals and immune to disease. So next time you fuck a stripper or a whore and she gives you a condom, remember that you’re paying her and you call the shots, that is until you knock her up and have to pay child support while tending to your herpes.

Check the Gallery Here

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I am sitting at home watching Regis and Kelly, like every good unemployed Mexican does and get all excited when they announce that Lohan is on the show. She ended up calling in sick because of “food poisoning” and was a no show, forcing Regis and Kelly to play clips of Regis singing xmas songs. We all knew Lohan was a dirty coke slut, out suckin’ dick til all hours of the night, I’ve just wanted to bring it up again and I won’t stop til Lohan doin’ lines off my dick.

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I am sitting at home watching Regis and Kelly, like every good unemployed Mexican does and get all excited when they announce that Lohan is on the show. She ended up calling in sick because of “food poisoning” and was a no show, forcing Regis and Kelly to play clips of Regis singing xmas songs. We all knew Lohan was a dirty coke slut, out suckin’ dick til all hours of the night, I’ve just wanted to bring it up again and I won’t stop til Lohan doin’ lines off my dick.

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You know that I am completely against Piracy unless it involves an eye patch. I fucking love eye patches. I predict that the eye patch will be the hipster accessory of 2007, but this isn’t about hipsters or eye patches, this is about downloading MP3 albums. A dude I know sent me this link to plug. Some of you may find it useful, even if it’s in some language I don’t understand

So here if you like music and don’t mind foreigners, Click the Link for some decent albums.

I’ve dont my community service for the day, you hurtbag losers. Go to a fucking store and buy the god damn CD. Criminal.

LOVE

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It is official. DrunkenStepfather.com has a Stalker. I am officially an internet celebrity, I feel like Julia Roberts or some shit.

Instead of hiding in my pool house, my stalker’s been emailing everyone in my myspace friends list about my 15 year old tech guy, who is too busy masturbating to make me a fucking site.

This is the bullentin I posted on myspace.

There’s some child molesting motherfucker messaging my friends list talking some crazy shit about my tech guy, who is a 15 year old boy who goes to school with one of my step daughters.

I am guessing that this motherfucker used to be his camp councilor, gym teacher, baseball coach, priest, swim instructor, or someshit and is bitter that my tech guy got pubes and a bigger dick than him now.

It’s always embarassing to molest a boy with a bigger dick than you…

Anyway his name is “k” and if he mentions me – tell him to fuck off,

Thanks in Advance

and

Cuddles

I don’t like people who try to fuck with me or my site, but it is pretty fucking funny. Next thing I expect is you fuckers to send in naked pics of your girlfriends or do other things that you do to Internet Celebrities (I know you never met your girlfriend, but she’s great at IM. You fucking loser. Thanks for nothing).

I decided to make “K” an internet celebrity too but the “Fake Profile” stalker’s been using cuz he aint man enough to do it under his real shit has been shut down.

This has been a waste of time, but I hope you enjoy the pics- weirdo.

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