Bondage is funny. The reason it is funny is because it is based on humility. It’s all about making a complete fool of yourself, while have a hard-on throughout the process. It’s like going up on stage to sing a song in front of 1000s, of people, only to forget the words and realize that you don’t really even know how to sing. It’s like going for a jog and ending up 20 miles away from home, only to shit yourself and walk home soiled and in shambles. It’s like that time that those bullies in highschool tied you to the fence naked and brought out all the hot girls to laugh and point. It’s all about being in a vulnerable position with your mistress in a Sensory Deprivating Mask…

The Ultimate Sensory Deprivation Bondage Hood

Grit your teeth and bear it boy! This hood is not for those that panic. This heavy duty hood is hand made to exceptional quality standards. When the 3 locking leather straps are pulled tight against the padded eyes, mouth and ear areas you get that oh boy feeling. With your senses leaving quickly you become very submissive to your master’s demands and struggle to hear their every word. This is by far one of the finest hoods we offer. Comes in one size with laces for adjusting to fit.

Features:

* Padded leather ear pockets
* Padded leather reinforcement for eyes and mouth
* 3/4 inch mouth hole
* Leather laced rear back for snug fit
* 3 extra leather locking straps
* Straps can be used with or without padlocks

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It’s summer, and with summer comes summer vacation and for celebities, that means trips to beaches. With the beach comes bikinis and with celebrity comes paparazzi, and combined comes pictures of celebrities on beaches in Bikinis. Here are a few pictures of Cameron Diaz, I don’t know what the fuck is on her ass, I think it’s causes by Justin Timberlake’s roughneck ways, upon fucking her, he realizes that he could be fucking ever 18 year old out there, and with his fits of rage comes fits of fury and he spanks the shit out of Diaz for ruining his youth. I could be completely wrong, but I remember knowing a guy who had a girlfriend for 10 years, she dumped him, he was 30 and he realized that he was monogamous for so long, and he passed up so much pussy, and he was now all alone crushed and battered. This may happen to JT, but it didn’t happen to me, I just slept with whore after whore after whore. Take my word for it, dump your girlfriends now, because all relationships will end horribly.

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I rarely compliment girls for looking good. I figure enough suck up bitches do that in attempts to get in their pants. In case you haven’t realized it doesn’t work. The only girls who you can be nice to and guarantee play from is fat girls, and who the fuck wants a fat girl. All you have to say is “baby, you look so good tonight”, and she’s yours. Only because she has limited selection in who she can get with. Beckham has had something like 10 kids, and bitch’s body is still slamming. You gotta give respect where it’s due. If all women who have kids, could bounce back into shape…you’re options in pussy would be limited. You need the fatties with baggage and low standards to get laid.

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The beauty of the Fleshlight is that all Fleshlight users are pretty predictable. I always assumed they were people who don’t have sex on the regular, if ever and are people who spend a lot of time on the internet. Now, I spend a lot of time on the Internet, but that’s only because I fear facing the world out there. It is so big and offers so many opportunities that I would rather sit on my chair and leave it at that. This Fleshlight reader brings my point home with the fact that he is webcamming some girl in 1000 miles away, who is really a 65 year old dude, only to think to himself that he’s got a chance, until he looks down and realizes that he’s got a Fleshlight in his hand.

I was talking to a friend online when the package arrived. She talked me into turning my webcam on to watch me use it for the first time. When I first slid into it I thought it felt good, but wasn’t too excited. But once I got the hang of playing with the endcap to adjust the suction and using different speeds it was awesome. I would definately recommend it to anyone on the fence about getting one. BTW…I got the pink lady wonder wave.

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I did a post about her a couple of days ago, she was getting raped by a midget and it was documented. Now, I assume she’s still on the same midget-rape vacation on this time she decided to let you tits get some son. She is topless, you like that shit, even though they are retardedly fake, you’d still stick it to her. I am not a fan of the breast implant. That’s all I have to say about that.

Via DoubleViking

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White trash is not really in style, it just seems like a lot of white trash have made lots of money or married into it recently. This means they have nicer houses than you, a better quality of life, fucking hotter bitches, but you can’t take the trash outta them and that means going to the store for a bag of chips and a pack of smokes. This is the shit poor families pack in their kid’s school lunches, provided they aren’t too drunk to bother…

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This could be your mother, I wouldn’t know, we’ve never met and I doubt we ever will, I am not into this whole internet friendship thing, ya know how it is, makes me feel a little weird. Anyway, if this girl isn’t your mom, she’s someone’s mom and I am guessing to spice up her marriage she decided to pull her floppy tit out for someone to get a kick out of. That someone is obviously a very weird person, probably spends a lot of time on the internet just like you….maybe one day you will be lucky enough to get a nasty bitch to flash you while camera is in hand. That way, maybe your friends will believe that you have seen a breast in person, then again if this is the only tit you’re seeing, you probably don’t have many friends….Cuddles.

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I know you haven’t got laid in a long time, don’t feel bad, sometimes I would take a lack of pussy than having to sleep with my wife, but I won’t get into that, because I wouldn’t want to divert from the fact that you take pleasure in this street art, even though it’s of a guy cumming in another guys face, the way it should be when every girl you have ever approached has told you that you aren’t there type…you are a homo because of extraneous factors, not by birth or choice but because of neceessity homo. Shouldn’t you be changing your panties or something?

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It seems like when you have never had the opportunity to touch a real vagina, a rubber one feels as close to the real thing as you ever imagined while you pleasured yourself with your hand or other random household items. I guess this is next level masturbation and I shouldn’t judge, if anything I should be thanking fleshbot for preventing reproduction of people like you and more importantly I should thank them for keeping you off the streets and in your house, because people like you, Virgins for Life always end up giving in to your needs and doing something stupid like raping a girl. Desperations a bitch, get a fleshlight.

the fleshlight came already warm in the bag and ready to be deflowered. Couldn’t wait, so I emptied the lube and stuck my penis in right then and there, because I knew I would not make it to the bedroom alive. At first, I gasped like a little girl on halloween, but then proceeded to pump like a fevered rottweiler in heat. The silky texture tickled my scrotum and brought new meaning to the word blue balls. I noticed i took the end cap off, so I screwed that sucker on tight and right then and there it sucked the living daylight out of me. Suction = good shit fellas, as I pulled out panting and rug burned, there was a pleasant slurp sound that rang like music to my ears.

GO GET YOUR FL NOW.

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