It is SUPERBOWL Sunday and we partnered up with DHM Detox to offer you a chance to prevent your hangover this heavy drinking weekend.

You may not be a social media influencer on your way to a weekend in Miami. Killing it at all the parties pretty much EVERYONE is putting on but that doesn’t mean you can’t kill it in your own way, in your own city, town, village, camp, home and by kill it I mean get drunk every night including but not limited to Sunday Night since Super Bowl happens on Sunday…it is a religious experience.

If you’re not like me, and you have a job, you know that Monday Morning is going to be HELL for you and not just because of too many bowls of Chilli, Nachos but also all that beer. The cesspool that is your stomach, the struggling that is your live is nothing to look forward to. Even if your team wins.

I’m a drunk, the site is called DRUNKENSTEPFATHER, I drink…and with drinking comes a perpetual hangover, cirrhosis and all that other good stuff. So I know hangovers and they suck.

That is why I am willing to try anything to prevent a hangover, that age old miracle ‘hangover prevention pill” everyone has been trying to figure out since the dawn of alcoholism.

DHM Detox is a vitamin for people that drink alcohol…and everyone should be drinking alcohol. It’s the one thing I look forward to everyday.

It helps breakdown toxic by product of alcohol and fight off next day effects from drinking that we all know too well. Nausea, brain fog, headaches, and anxiety (no more Sunday scaries on a MONDAY)…..

This herbal supplement uses science to help prevent hangovers. It Comes in convenient packets that you can take out with you anywhere

All you need to do is take 2 capsules after your first few drinks and it goes to work. If you’re like me take more.. BUY YOURS NOW

The optimized formula including the following ingredients:

DHM (dihydromyricetin) – a natural ingredient used in asia for centuries to fight off the negative effects of drinking. It is a powerful antioxidant, reduces inflammation, provides liver support and helps break down toxins that come from drinking alcohol

Your body needs help when you’re drinking and the OLDER you get the rougher it gets. DHM Detox is your go to drinking buddy. No Days Wasted after drinking with DHM Detox

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People are such whores now. You can be walking through the aisles of the grocery store and right there behind the baked goods counter is a girl with her pants down taking a selfie. You can’t tell if that selfie is for her to text her doctor to identify a rash, for her family and friends on Instagram or if she’s an amateur porn girl doing some public nudity / masturbation for her porn feed. So many reasons for a young girl to be pants down in a grocery store and I’d you don’t think that’s great and if you fear her nudity giving your muffins herpes or other getting germs – you’re missing the damn point.

Morning Links…OK…

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Elsie Hewitt who you can follow on instagram at @ELSIE , is one of those big natural titty girls from instagram who was able to amass a following by using her tits to get noticed or to be taken seriously by rich dudes.

I don’t know her end goal or how much of a sugar baby she actually is, because I don’t actually care.

I just know that her claim to fame, or the biggest shit she’s done, is accuse Ryan Philippe of beating her when they were “dating”.

It is another one of those stories of if you’re a famous dude, you have a lot of exposure, and this generation of woman is a clever opportunist who is entitled and thinks they deserve everything because they have over 500k instagram followers. They have a distorted perception of sex, relationship and rape and sexual assault. They don’t have brains, they just have memes and half information from reading headlines and not really grasping how the world works. They’ve been coddled their whole life, they can’t fail in elementary school, everyone gets a participation prize. The world their oyster.

Anyway, she was clever enough to sue Philippe for a million dollars, cash in when things don’t work out for you, and who will believe him in this #metoo era. Good timing. Take advantage of exploiting the highest profile dick you can seduce on IG.

That’s not to say Philippe is a good guy, or that he didn’t punch her when she was out of control at his house, throwing a tantrum….it’s just to say he’s a fucking idiot…these tits aren’t worth that headache…not tits are worth the headache yet all these motherfuckers get caught up in this shit. Idiots.

Well these are those tits in a photoshoot.

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As it turns out I fucking hate the Fashion Industry.

It’s like all the lame sneaker collecting weirdos you hated 20 years ago are running all the high end fashion brand and the models they are casting are Bella Hadid.

Not only do they pollute the world with overpriced garbage no one actually needs, creating this hype to give people something to spend their money on, they are just a gang of posers

I know what you’re thinking, what the fuck does Jesus Martinez a 50 year old pervert degenerate drunk know about fashion, and why would he like fashion. Well as it turns out I used to jerk off to fashion shows because they were televised on Sundays in the 90s and I learned all about it. I’d also jerk off to Vogue and all the other magazines because they’d have naked or half naked models and it wasn’t shameful to buy them, if anything having them in your house would get you laid.

I know fashion, despite wearing soiled sweatpants everyday, and the way things are going soiled sweatpants is probably a trend so long as they have a dumb label on them and cost 1000s of dollars.

I’ve always knows that fashion was a scam for rich people, it was always snobby, but at least it looked rich and expensive and classy. Back then kids just didn’t want designer clothing, so it was for some high society shit and the models were fucking hot.

But now…now…the models are tranny looking hard faced brats like Bella Hadid….I mean this bitch is disgusting…and is considered the top model…which basically is just an extension of how lame that fashion industry is.

Topless or not, fuck Bella Hadid and the scam she’s been milking….and fuck fashion it’s a lie.

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Kelly Gale is one of Victoria’s Secret’s Angels during their rebrand. You know as they try to separate themselves from financing Epstein and not supporting fat girls or Trannies, which is apparently what people are actually mad about on social media, and that companies pander to, instead of saying fuck off….even though at one point Victoria’s Secret tried to say fuck off and their Creative Director got fired for it…they’re here trying to salvage shit….but the real thing they should be made about is that whole FINANCING EPSTEIN….that dude human trafficked 12 year olds, and I guess Victoria’s Secret back in the day Human Trafficked 16 year olds from Brazil that they turned into celebrities. Either way, the whole thing is very corrupt…

You can follow Kelly Gale on INSTAGRAM if you’re into the Half Indian / half Australian who doesn’t have no Indian tits – if you’ve ever been around Indian tits, you’ll know what I mean (dot not feather)….

But why bother, this is her quintessential shoot. The best she’s every done. Her pivotal moment of being a boring tanned E-Commerce girl…to be a set of tits, cameltoe and even a glimpse of butthole I appreciate.

I haven’t been drawn to her, not because I’m a racist, but because she’s never done anything as good as this..so let’s celebrate the amazing photographer Cameron Hammond and his amazing work with this now Amazing girl…thanks to him.

Big fan.

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Grimes struck second lottery by getting some Elon Musk musk up inside her as she posted this TITTY Pic.

My initial reaction to the pic was “those are some big dark nipples, she must be pregnant”…and I was right…because I know me how nipples work…call me a doctor, at least when I pretend to be on on Craigslist to lure you into my gynecological van.

This is gonna be big news.

I guess the only regret is not befriending her when she was in Montreal getting her start in the local scene before going viral with her first album. Maybe I’d be invited to the Briss or whatever it is billionaires to do celebrate their future bratty socialite entitled weirdo kids.

I have these old pics of her sucking a tit at a party in Montreal before she was famous – worth checking out cuz LOLZ now that she is famous

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Ariel Winter took a series of slutty selfies in some crop top she can finally wear thanks to her anti-depressants getting rid of her fat, the workout regime they don’t want you to know about, but that the big PHARMA paid Ariel Winter to promote, you know “best side effects ever”…kinda like how the Birth Control pill makes a bitch fucking mental, but also makes her tits bigger…small trade off.

Speaking of tits, despite having rudely cut off her tits when she was just a teen, she’s still got tits, so at least she’s got that going for her.

Broken Ariel Winter seems to have replaced that weird Canadian actor who made her super fucking fat because he was from farm country and new how to treat his cattle.

Her new dude may not have a penis, because there is a meme that goes around about Grey Sweatpants being a thing due to dick print, but I’m not seeing no dick print here, not that I am looking for dick, that’s queer, but since she’s a troll fuck, he sort of lines up with her breast reduced and much skinnier than she was a year ago tits…so it should be “in the way” taining this pic, but instead it’s like she’s with one of her bearded girlfriends…you know TROLLS have all kinds of friends from their troll village in make-belief-fantasy land…..

TO SEE THE REST OF HER PAPARAZZI PICS WITH SOME DUDE SHE IS LIKELY FUCKING CLICK HERE

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Via @RealMarkEbner

I guess they could have said “golden globes” also…as the tyrant asshole who basically dominated Hollywood for the last 25 years probably has his hand in a bunch of the movies and shows being celebrated…just off the record.

Dude is going on Trial that could put him away for life, I doubt it will put him away for life, if anything it will create a book and TV series that will make him more money than he already has.

I was surprised that Tarantino didn’t thank him for the good times, because Weinstein basically created that babbling idiot..

I would never DEFEND Weinstein for being a sleazy fuck, but he is a disgusting looking human who had a lot of power and it must have been an LOLZ with each career driven, eager to be famous, willing to fuck to get where they wanted to go, would fuck him…like it probably is for any rich dude who couldn’t get laid when he wasn’t rich, basically what I am saying is a ho is a ho is a ho and these celebrity women are hoes before they “make it” and some remain hoes after they make it. That doesn’t mean you can rape your hoes, but some pimps do, it’s just the way that dynamic works out sometimes and if you don’t want to get raped don’t put yourself in positions to get raped.

Obviously this list is huge and is funny that it took 25 years to bring him down. It is also funny because most men in power positions are sleazy perverts thanks to being men. So maybe avoid them if you can.

Here are a list of the accusers via some NYT site called THE CUT – Click MORE to See. It’s pretty huge.

(more…)

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People seeking more of a thrill in their masturbation are hilarious to me. You know trying to “Level” that shit, or “next” level that shit….

Whether it’s the far too fucking real 45 year old average normals posting sex videos online like a DIY pornstar the same way young girls used Instagram to pretend the were models, only with more mom stretch mark pussy being fisted as the husband films…all to get off….to the barely incest “step” family thing, which hits close to home because when I started the site, very few porn clips were “stepfamily” porn….I guess I’ve been onto for 15 years, so ahead of the curve…and today I came across a “step-aunt” and “step-nephew” series…which is basically not a taboo….but rather you fucking your stepmom’s sister…weird fantasy, not the weirdest but at that point you’re just two people fucking…

Either way, some stepLINKS.

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Her name is Helena Schargel and this is her INSTAGRAM that is apparently going viral because the 79 year old has decided to be a lingerie model, in a live your dreams, don’t let your old age get in the way of those dreams, the world is into weird fetishes and celebrating weird disorders like aging, and empowering those things with bikini or lingerie modeling. Fat girls are doing it. Downs Syndrome girls are doing it. Amputees are doing it. EVERYONE is fucking doing it….and they all bring it to us with some bullshit narrative of self confidence….

The world is a changing place, where 80 year old women feel comfortable being lingerie models despite being old as fuck, because instagram will take it viral and get them in the news, making alzheimers and impending death more tolerable….

One could say this is cool or interesting because it is something different. But it just reminds me that us that dudes are fucking perverts and will look at anything half naked, even our grandmas, hell some of us may have even jerked off in grandma’s 1970s styled bathroom after accidentally walking in on her getting ready for church after making us Wheat Germ muffins for breakfast, as grandmas do…..

It’s nice that all those chicks who think they are special cuz they get half naked to get attention or make money are reduced to knowing they aren’t special and that we’re just easy fucking consumers.

I would say that it’d be great if 2020 went back to making people feel insecure about themselves, but I’ve always been into getting people who shouldn’t be half naked, half naked, and there’s something way funnier about it when they come to that conclusion themselves and that I don’t need to go to the old folks home myself to recruit them into my SENIOR SPORTS ILLUSTRATED SWIM PARODY I planned 10 years ago when I still cared about producing original content if it wasn’t so expensive, where as I’m now “fuck that idea, I prefer relaxing”….you know cuz I am old too and my dreams aren’t to be successful…they are to be left the fuck alone…

Check out some of her work, I’d expect more from her based on the hype, but the media is garbage and runs with any clickbait it can.

Here are some videos….

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