The best thing about getting breast implants is the level of confidence it gives a girl. They suddenly go from being ultra insecure about their tits, making you fuck them with a sweatshirt on, to exposing the motherfuckers every chance they get. Christina Aguilera is a prime example of that. She’s been out rockin’ with no bra and sheer shirt for the last few months, and either way we don’t give a fuck. We are bored of celebrity nipple, but we would like to thank the celebs for making nipple slips and sheer tops all the rage. That means that while walking down the streets in my hometown, I will see many nipples on many different girls, I predict that this summer will be the summer of nipples, and people like X-Tina and her plastic surgeon are to thank. Thanks!

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I guess this is more entertaining than sad. Fat, Pregnant, Huge-Breasted Britney is out trying to be healthy, while her mooch boyfriend gets driven next to her in a golfcart. We all know he’s a lazy fuck who gets to rock-out like superstar on her dime, but dude doesn’t even walk with his fat, pregnant, huge-breasted wife. You would think it’s the least he could do considering she’s his employer, I know my employer get’s mad when I don’t scrub the toilets out properly, and shows his anger by pissing all over the place and making me clean all up again…Britney needs to grow some balls, not a fetus.

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When tying up the girl you somehow lured into your house isn’t working out for you, or when her roofies start to wear off, there is really only one solution and that is to tape her up, but not with just any tape, you need black mummification tape, cuz there isn’t much hotter that fucking a bitch while taggin her ass with heiroglypics and I am not talking about the San Francisco hip hop collective. I am talking some ancient Egyptian Cleopatra shit. This has been a weak post, but bitches, I am just getting back into the game…

Removable Bondage Tape
Mummification reusable bondage tape, 2 inches wide, 65 feet per roll. This kit includes 4 rolls of tape which is enough to mummify a small person. Get 2 packs for larger people or for multiple layers. The tape adheres to itself, without sticking to the hair or skin. Since it adheres to itself, it doesn’t get tighter once it’s on.

Each pack includes 4 rolls of tape.

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This thing is supposed to be a woman, that’s the rumor, but I have a feeling this is a “Ladybug” situation, where the team recruited a dude with bitch tits to play on their team to help win the championship. By championship, I don’t mean an actual championship. this is a woman’s league, we know that the only sport woman can take part in that counts is doing my fucking laundry. That was my sexist joke of the day and it doesn’t change the fact that this bitch’s clit is 6 inches hard and ready to enter you in places your mom would hate knowing you like having things inserted. I wouldn’t worry about it, your mom’s had plenty of shit in her ass. That’s right, she’s a whore.

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My new thing is finding pictures of bitches who look homeless, battered and like drug addicts. I am not sure why, but I think it has something to do with wanting my wife’s opposite, she looks like she has eaten a few of these said crackwhores. Her greasy face and the constant smell of icing sugar drives me crazy. Give me a cracked out bitch who hasn’t eaten for a few days…who smells of urine and semen, and when you do, make sure we can get a good upskirt shot….bitches.

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I didn’t watch Saturday Night Live, not only because I don’t have a TV, but also because I have better things to do with my time, like getting really drunk and waking up on a park bench covered in vomit and smelling like syphilis. It is a pirate’s disease, Arrrrrrr. So Lohan is looking a little like a crackwhore. I saw her in an interview, and loved the way she couldn’t focus on the camera, her eyes were all over the place, and it brought back memories of addiction, unprotected sex but it was the 90’s and AIDS was a gay disease. Point of the story is that I will always have a place in my heart for a woman with an eating disorder, an addiction, and who has seizures at least once a day, while in withdrawl and mal-nourished. It’s honestly the best you can get and that is why I would still fuck Lohan,

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I didn’t watch Saturday Night Live, not only because I don’t have a TV, but also because I have better things to do with my time, like getting really drunk and waking up on a park bench covered in vomit and smelling like syphilis. It is a pirate’s disease, Arrrrrrr. So Lohan is looking a little like a crackwhore. I saw her in an interview, and loved the way she couldn’t focus on the camera, her eyes were all over the place, and it brought back memories of addiction, unprotected sex but it was the 90’s and AIDS was a gay disease. Point of the story is that I will always have a place in my heart for a woman with an eating disorder, an addiction, and who has seizures at least once a day, while in withdrawl and mal-nourished. It’s honestly the best you can get and that is why I would still fuck Lohan,

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I don’t know what the fuck is going on in this picture. All I know is that dude is in some fucking weird position, tied up and the bitch has some tool that I assume she’s using on him is some weird way or another…Now we all know Asians are weird when it comes to bedroom play. We know they like shit, piss and vomit. We know it’s a cultural thing. We know we all wish we were capable of pulling off this shit, but our non-asian penises are too damn big. That’s right, I said it, Asians have small penis…and that’s why they over-compensate by getting freaky. It’s a fact, that I just made up.

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This is the situation. You meet a girl out in a bar, she looks to be completely normal. You assume she takes care of herself, because isn’t that just what people do? Society has led us to believe that every girl we hook up with shaves her fucking body hair. It’s not our fault we freak the fuck out when bitch gets naked and has mo’hair than our golden retriever Rusty. We love Rusty, he fucking loves going on bike rides. Seriously, he runs next to the bike and we laugh and we laugh at how cute he is….

View Gallery Here

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There is nothing wrong with a girl who likes to take care of herself. I have been stuck with a fat bitch the last few years who put little effort in her physique. By little effort, I mean eating one bag of Oreos in a sitting and not two. My woman sweats while she eats, while she sleeps, while she watches TV struggling to find her breath, her lungs drowning in her own fat. Coming across these pics of a healthy sweat on a fit girl is a relief, it allows me to imagine the fun I could have running my tongue up and down her six pack stomach. No I am not gay.

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