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Archive for the Unsorted Category

2007

25

Apr

I am – Ali Larter Stickin' Her Tongue Out of the Day

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I don’t know who Ali Larter is because I am bad at my job, because it really isn’t a job. I am pretty sure you could type this shit into google and you’ll find everything out yourself. It’ll give you something to distract yourself from hating your life for a few minutes, so think of my negligence as a blessing. I am just trying to help like I was your real life stepfather, teaching you how to ride your bike, but if I was your real life stepfather, I probably wouldn’t talk to you, because that’s your real dad’s job, my job’s to fuck your mom.

Anyway, this bitch is stickin’ her tongue out at us, because she’s funny, but not as funny as my friend Rocco who has a tongue fetish and always sticks his tongue out at girls to get them to stick their tongue back, so that he can reference that shit when he gets home and fucks himself, or makes love to himself, I guess the level passion and intensity depends on how tired or drunk he is.

That means that indirectly, this Ali Larter bitch is a fucking pornstar because I am sure my friend Rocco isn’t the only motherfucker out there who gets off to this shit. I kinda love when girls are being total dirty sluts without knowing, like she probably wasn’t thinking that guys will get off to this shit when she did it, she probably thought she was being cute, which I am sure Rocco would probably agree with her and add something like “and her tongue was so thick and purple it drove me nuts” and by nuts he would mean all over his belly. True Story.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

25

Apr

I am – Ali Larter Stickin’ Her Tongue Out of the Day

ali_larter_tongue_top.jpg

I don’t know who Ali Larter is because I am bad at my job, because it really isn’t a job. I am pretty sure you could type this shit into google and you’ll find everything out yourself. It’ll give you something to distract yourself from hating your life for a few minutes, so think of my negligence as a blessing. I am just trying to help like I was your real life stepfather, teaching you how to ride your bike, but if I was your real life stepfather, I probably wouldn’t talk to you, because that’s your real dad’s job, my job’s to fuck your mom.

Anyway, this bitch is stickin’ her tongue out at us, because she’s funny, but not as funny as my friend Rocco who has a tongue fetish and always sticks his tongue out at girls to get them to stick their tongue back, so that he can reference that shit when he gets home and fucks himself, or makes love to himself, I guess the level passion and intensity depends on how tired or drunk he is.

That means that indirectly, this Ali Larter bitch is a fucking pornstar because I am sure my friend Rocco isn’t the only motherfucker out there who gets off to this shit. I kinda love when girls are being total dirty sluts without knowing, like she probably wasn’t thinking that guys will get off to this shit when she did it, she probably thought she was being cute, which I am sure Rocco would probably agree with her and add something like “and her tongue was so thick and purple it drove me nuts” and by nuts he would mean all over his belly. True Story.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

25

Apr

I am – Megan Fox is a Skater Girl Who Dates Assholes of the Day

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I was sitting on a park bench yesterday and saw some hot teenage girl who was probably skipping high school classes rockin’ a pair of skinny jeans like she was a Ramone, and a pair of massive high top shoes like she was Michael Jordan. It reminded me of when I used to drink with kids at the skate park in the 90s when the groupie girls would dress like that to get the skater kids dick in their mouths. I was just the drunk old guy in the corner they wanted nothing to do with, but I did convince one of them to masturbate for me in exchange for a bag of meth, but she was kinda fat and that’s how I pushed the shit on her, I was like I got this miracle weight loss meds….she fell for it like a fat kid who doesn’t want to be fat on weight loss miracles.

Anyway, Megan Fox reminded me of those days, with her matching shirt and shoelaces, but I don’t really know who this bitch is and I don’t really care, I just know that she’s fighting with her boyfriend in these pics, which is totally fine by me because of his frat boy, gangbang with his football friend, massively gay ironic T-shirt and his whiney bitch ways, like how he storms off from the fight all flustered like Megan Fox is the one who straps it on for him….

Posted in:Megan Fox|Unsorted

2007

25

Apr

I am – Nicole Richie and Her Future Sister-In-Law Sophie Monk of the Day

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I woke up in the middle of the night in a bit of a panic. I had some kind of dream that was a fucking genius post and when I woke up in this panic, I repeated it to myself about 10 times because I wanted to remember it to share with you, because that’s just the kind of guy I am. I ended up falling back to sleep and only waking up now and I completely forgot the idea, my brian is like a plate of mash potatoes, but at least it looks like Nicole Richie hasn’t been eating Mash Potatoes or anything for the last 4 years, bitch is so small,, or from some small famine stricken african tribe, which is possible cuz her dad is black. Bitch looks like she’s 7 years old, and based on personal experience, has the education of a 7 year old, and I know the people who read this site that should probably be in prison, love their women to look like this.

I guess quality of dudes in L.A. is limited, or people who are raised in the industry have no concept of what’s good or not, because both these sluts are baggin’ the twins from Good Charlotte, probably the biggest rockstar cunts out there, I would argue that they are even worse than DJ AM because their are 2 of them, but I find happiness in knowing that these Sister-In-Law outings will end pretty soon in 2 bitter divorces, when the band launches a new album or Nicole gets bored of not being on TV being a total cunt to every small town person in sight.

BONUS:

Posted in:Nicole Richie|Sophie Monk|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

24

Apr

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

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I was working on my Academy Award speech today, because I figured stepTV will be the next big thing as the first movie in theaters shot on cellphone, meaning that I’d obviously win. Part of winning is being prepared to accept the award gracefully and as much as I want to show up to the ceremony with a crackwhore smelling of urine to remind Will Smith of his youth, I started to plan my speech, the only person I could think to thank was Sam my cigar vendor who always gives me free cigars, today it was some cuban thing that was fantastic and carried me through my stepLINKS, so click on them if you’re not gay. Cuddles.


Hot Airsex Video
GO

Ghetto Wedding Pics
GO

Scary Spice names Her Kid After Eddie Murphey, Even Though He Denies Being the Dad
GO

This is what Mickey Avalon is Trying To Be
GO

Scarlett Johansson Falls Down the Stairs Video and I Laughed.
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Grandma Hits the Motherfuckin’ Beach and Turns Me On
GO

Britney Eating Fries
GO

Carrie Underwood is Drunk and a Slut
GO

Kirsten Dunst Hungover
GO

Treadmill Stunts
GO

American Apparel in France Shows Tits But Won’t Advertise on This Site
GO

Kate Bosworth Red Lipstick No Smoke, Sorry LohanWanker, If You’re Still Out There?
GO

Sheryl Crow Is Telling People How to Shit for Global Warming, While Touring With 4 Buses, 2 Tractor Trailers and 6 Cars because She’s a Cunt.
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

World’s Shortest Mother and her Sick Fucking Boyfriend Who Is Obviously a Fucking Weirdo
GO

Aishwarya Rai Wedding Pictures Because Now She Can Have Sex
GO

Some Mini Skirt Cheerleader Action
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Collien Fernandes Photoshoot in Thailand Video
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Ugly Bitches For Britney
GO

Hot Asian Girl Named Eriko Sato
GO

Lohan Steals Clothes From Her Friends Because She Is Hotter than Them
GO

Mena Suvari in Bikini For Rolling Stone
GO

Spice Girl Reunion
GO

Adriana Lima’s Nipples for Armani
GO

Pam Anderson is Going to Adopt, Cuz She is Too Old and Damaged to Get Pregnant, I think It’s Got something To Do With Too Many Abortions
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Lohan Leaving Winstons – It’s a Club and She’s Pretty Amazing
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Kate Beckinsale Goes to the Pool
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5000 People Smoking Weed to Celebrate 4/20 in Vancouver
GO

A Few Lookin’ Good Sweethearts All At the Same Time
GO

Some Dumb Bitch Trying To Be Funny With Her Shitty Grandma Panties Jokes…
GO

This Video Is More Popular Than My Site
GO

Woman Poops Out Of Her Vadge
GO

More on the Myspace Drama
GO

Last Night’s Party Involved Fat Naked Chicks Covered In Watermelon
GO

Some SNL Skit called the Dress Store Feature Scarlett Johannson
GO

Manuela Arcuri is Topless in this Photoshoot, I Don’t Know Who She Is, But It Don’t Matter…
GO

Some Lotion Tit Action
GO

Intense Coke Ad By Jack White
GO

Dirty Fucking Upskirt
GO

Kirsten Dunst and Bryce Dallas Howard Talk To Jane Magazine
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A reader Wants You To Join His Myspace Group
GO

Paulina Rubio Performing in Lingerie
GO

Gay Sports Pictures to Laugh At
GO

Agent Provocateur’s Got Some Lingerie Shit Going On
GO

Maxim in Greece With Some Chick Named Katerina Georgopoulou
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Some Intense Ping Pong Ball Bouncing Because It’s Cool
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Use This To Get Laid Cuz It Will Do You Some Good
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS|Unsorted

2007

24

Apr

I am – Jessica Biel's Ass Walks Her Dog of the Day

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Dog is a man’s best friend which is pretty appropriate because Jessica Biel has broader shoulders than a football player and probably has a dick, but since she’s in a dress and has tits, I consider her a chick for now.

I have this theory that dogs get to have all the fucking fun, I’m talking from panty sniffing to voyeurism, and if my insane friend from the park is right, and reincarnation exists, it’s a pretty good thing to be, especially if your master is a celebrity who buys you all kind of luxury items like the best damn bone in the city and spends their nights doing blow and fucking like champions while I watch. The only problem is that my friend in the park doesn’t only believe in reincarnation, but also that he can tap into his past life and runs around the park on all fours, barking at the bitches sun tanning, and shitting in the middle of the field, so either he’s a clairvoyant or dude should be institutionalized.

These pics of Jessica Biel look familiar, but I went through my archives and seems like they are new, or that I never posted, which is possible cuz I suck at blogging…but when her ass is stickin’ out like that, who cares when they were taken just be happy that they were taken….

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

24

Apr

I am – Jessica Biel’s Ass Walks Her Dog of the Day

jessica_biel_asstop.jpg

Dog is a man’s best friend which is pretty appropriate because Jessica Biel has broader shoulders than a football player and probably has a dick, but since she’s in a dress and has tits, I consider her a chick for now.

I have this theory that dogs get to have all the fucking fun, I’m talking from panty sniffing to voyeurism, and if my insane friend from the park is right, and reincarnation exists, it’s a pretty good thing to be, especially if your master is a celebrity who buys you all kind of luxury items like the best damn bone in the city and spends their nights doing blow and fucking like champions while I watch. The only problem is that my friend in the park doesn’t only believe in reincarnation, but also that he can tap into his past life and runs around the park on all fours, barking at the bitches sun tanning, and shitting in the middle of the field, so either he’s a clairvoyant or dude should be institutionalized.

These pics of Jessica Biel look familiar, but I went through my archives and seems like they are new, or that I never posted, which is possible cuz I suck at blogging…but when her ass is stickin’ out like that, who cares when they were taken just be happy that they were taken….

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

24

Apr

I am – Angelina Jolie Hides Behind a Flat Ass of the Day

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I guess this ass isn’t so bad, but it’s still covering Angelina Jolie, which isn’t such a big deal to me, because I don’t really give a fuck, but I can imagine that some of your creepy motherfuckers who have a collection of her pictures in a box in your closet, a hard drive full of every spread bitch has done and maybe even videos of you jerking off on glossy prints of her face, making the fantasy that much more realistic do care that this ass is covering what could have been a hot post pregnancy upskirt, my favorite kind of upskirt.

Either way, I’d let this ass, dance nude for me. Speaking of nude dancing, I had this friend who was rich, he’d hire girls to dance on his dinning room table. I’d go over and it was like my own little strip club. The dude was pretty fucked and everyday at noon, a 12 year old kid he hired wold stand outside his house everyday in a paperboy outfit screaming EXTRA, EXTRA, like it was the 1920. Dude, would run down, give him a quarter, take his paper and call him Timmy before start his expensive day…We were only friends for about a week, I actually accidentally met him, but it was a pretty fucking glorious time, I’m talking fully stocked bar and shit…

I guess that doesn’t have shit to do with Angelina Jolie or her tits and panties or who she is talking to, but I know that she’s not talking to you and that’s because you’re never going to get in up in her…Loser…

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

24

Apr

I am – Britney Spears is Thin Overnight of the Day

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I know that these have probably made their way around the internet the last few hours. I guess that’s what happens when there are about 1500 celebrity blogs out there and you have a lazy cunt like me trying to figure out how to add titles to a shitty Debbie Does Dallas Camera Phone Video for 10 hours last night instead of posting all the pictures every fucker out there is posting. The only reason I am posting these now, is because bitch looks better overnight and I am guessing that only happens with liposuction, but still worth around not that it changes anything for me, I would have still fucked her back when she was in the gutter, with acne, cellulite and no shoes on, if I could get it up because there is no whore too dirty for me at least that’s my life’s philosopohy.

I am actually pretty pissed off that bitch pulled her shit together and got dancing and singing in efforts to make a comeback that will probably work out for her. She’s been in the media consistently the whole 2 or 3 years she’s taken off work to have babies and be a fat lazy cunt, but as long as she wears booty shorts and fishnets, she’ll be getting airtime on my site…..if this is even considered a site, I like to believe it’s more of mistake on the part of people who invented blogging software giving people like me the chance to talk about Britney’s ass…

Point of the story is that I like gutter sluts more than refined, choreographed, popstars like Britney and I was really looking forward to getting a 10 dollar a song lap dance from her in 5 years, had she lost everything as I had planned for her. She has officially let me down even though she’s wearing her underwear in public…which more girls should do, and I’d advise you to tell them to, but realize you haven’t spoke to a girl since you were in grade school before you realized you wanted to fuck them, which was the last time you weren’t creepy.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

24

Apr

I am – Gwen Stefani Ruins My Fetish of the Day

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Here are some pictures of Gwen Stefani dressing close enough to a French Maid to make me never want to look at a bitch in a French Maid’s outfit again, even though I love that cheesy sexy shit that is so played out that every bitch rocks this shit for halloween which wasn’t a bad thing until Gwen Stefani ruined it for me. I feel like Halloween won’t be as good as it once was and now when every college slut on campus is rocking her variation of the french maid outfit, even if her variation involves no panties and an exposed cooter, even if her and her friend are going down on each other in the shower and a french maid party, my brain will go back to these Gwen Stefani pics poisoning me to never enjoy such an enjoyable thing again…

I guess the reality is that nothing will ever make me hate girls going down on each other, or girls dressed like sluts, but I had no other angle for the post and Gwen Stefani is pretty fucking busted, even when she’s showin’ off her long legs….

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted