Unsorted Archives - Page 155 of 511 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2007

24

Apr

I am – stepTV Does Debbie Does Dallas Again Party in NYC of the Day

Debbie Does Dallas was the first porno I ever saw back when I was 15 or 16. It holds a very warm place in my heart as fetishes of big bushed cheerleaders never really left my mind. I wasn’t sure how much I liked the concept of remaking it with bikini waxes, fake tits and expensive cameras, so when I heard about the NYC Debbie Does Dallas Again launch party that happened in NYC last Thursday, I convinced Vivid that my site was good enough to get invited and they pulled through. I am obviously too broke to go to NYC so I found some people willing to help out. I wanted to get the whole thing on video but I don’t have equipment but the guy I spoke to said that he’d do it as long as he could get drunk. Since I encourage people being drunk, it seemed like he was the guy. He forgot to tell me that his camera was on a free cellphone he got for signing a 2 year contract, but he still pulled through –

This is what he had to say about the event:

So Big Pinky Derrick and I got a late start which upon entering the club was fine by us. There were swarms of shithead photographers with their expensive cameras and wall street pieces of shit in 3 piece suits that seemed to cover the place like a cum shot covers a pornstar’s tits. We immediately grabbed beers from the open bar, but only one beer at a time cause they wouldn’t let us double fist. I figured double fisting would be accepted because it’s a porn party, but maybe fisting hasn’t really made it into the mainstream porn yet.

Regardless we made our way to the cesspool of photographers, I was equipped with a polaroid I stole from my neighbor’s little sister about 10 years ago and began snapping up photos of Monique who was posing. I was catching glaring eyes of the “professional” photographers who I guess thought I was a total cunt and at one point even told me that the event was for professionals. Shit’s for DrunkenStepfahter, how much more professional can I get so I told him to Fuck off. We continued drinking staring at the scene, having team huddles in the bathroom to assess the situation.

Finally after getting shoved around by “professionals”, karma kicked in. They escorted the porn stars to a roped off section and with three piece weasels and shithead photographers foaming at the bottom of the stairs they pulled me and Big Pinky up. Giving my competition the proverbial fuck off smile me and my cohort parted the sea of scum and sat unaccompanied with Monique and Savanna who both seemed confused how a bunch of idiots like us were up there with them in the first place.

Alas the girls warmed up to us and our charming ways. The interview went fine, we parted with thanks, smiles, and gropes, and hit the bar once more before stumbling out onto the NYC streets, laughing at the whole fucking thing.” I’d say thanks Jesus and DrunkenStepfather.com, but I am convinced you had nothing to do with making this happen. It was all me, motherfucker.

here’s the video:

Here’s the interview that you can’t make out in the video.

The following questions were asked of our two lovely hedonists:

Who would win a fight Captain crunch or Captain Kirk?

Monique: Captain crunch. Probably due to brand loyalty.

Savana: Captain Kirk cause he is bigger and not a cartoon.

Who is your favorite smurf?

Monique and Savana: The only one that wore high heels and was slutty. Smurfette.

If there were a fire which would you rescue? A kitten or a puppy?

Both: The puppy. Kittens are too hard to catch an are not as cool. Puppies rule.

Punch mom in the stomach or wear a suit of Macaroni for a week.

Monique I’d definetly punch my mom in the stomach hard!
Savana: Macaroni suit.

Favorite shoes of all times?
Monique: Chucks
Savana:Giuseppi whatevers

Here are the polaroids:

I have decided that showing up to events with a camera phone is exactly where I want to take stepTV. Fuck 10,000 dollar cameras and high quality video, this shit’s ghetto there’s no denying it. I hope these guys become my NYC stepSTEVEs. If you’re wondering who they are –

Credits:

Big Pinky Derrick on camera and interviewer is from TVCARNAGE

and

Roedood behind the camera and drunk and is from VBS.tv (until I poach this motherfucker to work for me full time because Vice is massively gay)

For more info on Debbie Does Dallas Again Go HERE

Posted in:Pornstars|stepLIVIN'|stepTV|Unsorted

2007

23

Apr

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

3 Comments »

I just realized that I haven’t left the house yet today and it’s prett late at night. I don’t really know what I have been doing because I haven’t posted on the site since 4 am, but I am pretty fucking sure I’ve been doing work – it just doesn’t seem like I have been.

Either way, I am posting the links now and planning an evening adventure, because not leaving the house is almost as depressing as your life. ENJOY!

Amy Winehouse In Her Bra
GO

This is Brazilian TV
GO

Russians Love Jennifer Lopez Because They Are 10 Years Behind
GO

Some Girl Unwrapping Herself
GO

Charlize Theron Dressed in Yellow
GO

Intense Girls WIth Putting Tabasco In Their Eyes
GO

Teddy Bear Bondage Video
GO

Girl Publicly Degraded – They Say It’s Staged, But It’s Still Fucking INSANE
GO

Heath Ledger is the Next Joker, These Are the Pics
GO

Some Idiot from Laguna Beach Playing Russian Roulette
GO

More of Scarlett on SNL
GO

Cam Girl in a Video
GO

Some More Danielle Lloyd Lookin’ Big Tittied
GO

The 5 Hottest Nerds
GO

Mischa Barton in Mom Jeans
GO

Fatasia Barrino In a Tight Dress Lookin’ Busted
GO

Keanu Reeves Has A Hot Girlfriend
GO

Chevy Chase Has Mommy Issues, Maybe Because She Named Him After the Car She Got Knocked Up In
GO

Some Scren Caps of Gail Stanwyck from Fletch
GO

Val Kilmer Fat on the Beach
GO

Lohan in a Bikini in ALlure
GO

Some Chick Named Eva La Rue Posing
GO

Milla Jovovich is Last Week’s News and By Last Week I Mean 5 Years Ago, But She’s Pregnant and I love Unprotected Sex
GO

Bruce Willis is Banging a Girl in Her Mid 20s, Because He Can
GO

Nicole Richie Calls DJ AM’s Ex GF Fat
GO

Mischa Barton See-Through Dress
GO

Some Third Rate Celebrity from Third Rock From The Sun Turns His Camera to the Paparazzi and Makes a Video Abotu It
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Apprentice Contestant Naomi Lay Sex Tape Scandal
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Apprentice Named Kristine Lefebvre is Posing Nude for Playboy in June
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Changing Room Voyeur
GO

Some Swedish Band that is supposed to be pretty good…
GO

Some New Eve Song That You Don’t Care About
GO

Jewel has Insane Tits
GO

Perez Hanging Out With Jewels Tits
GO

Britney Shaved Her Head To Honor Dead Aunt
GO

Having Sex When The Kids Are Around
GO

Dude Turns His Back Into a Target
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

This Will Get You Laid and You Need It because Your Good Looks Aren’t Enough…
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS|Unsorted

2007

23

Apr

I am – Scarlett Johansson is Scared of Cameras of the Day

1 Comment »

I was walking by a pay by the hour motel I like to park myself outside of, even though I don’t have a car. I just like seeing the people go in and try to figure out if they are virgins who live with their parent’s trying to get freaky on their anniversary, or if they are dudes cheating on their wives, or if they are dudes hiring whores, or if they are dudes who pick up random drunk chicks they don’t want to bring home to their friends because they are ugly, but not ugly enough to stuff like a turkey if no one knows. Anyway, I was standing outside the parking lot and was spotted by a couple, they tried no to make eye contact, thinking I may have been someone they know and they didn’t want me to bust them.

It reminds me a lot of how Scarlett is with the paparazzi. Her career is based on being seen but bitch always tries to avoid people taking her picture, whether it’s with a sign telling the papraazzi to fuck off or a hood over her head, bitch is so fucking dramatic, maybe because she’s an actor and drama is what she’s all about, but I have a feeling it’s just a way to draw more attention to herself which is pretty fucking lame – but obviously works….because here I am talking about it, but then again, I don’t get out much so I talk about lots of shit no one cares about.

Bonus – I found old pictures of Scarlett Hiding Before Cuz Bitch is Repetitive GO

Posted in:Scarlett Johansson|Unsorted

2007

23

Apr

I am – Morgan Fairchild’s Tits of the Day

3 Comments »

It’s always been said that men age gracefully and women fall apart at the seams the older they get, you know men get more distinguished as their hair gets grey and women try everything in their power to fight it, whether it’s with dye jobs, plastic surgery or intense work outs. They try to keep things interesting by becoming dirtier in bed and easier to get into bed, but it doesn’t change the fact that their tits aim to the ground, and their vagina’s dry up. But there are always exceptions to every rule and Morgan Fairchild makes post-menopausal unprotected sex an amazing bonus instead of a reason why you’re getting in bed with someone’s grandmother….sure bitch has a bit of a muff gut going on, but I wish a muff gut was all my wife had instead a buried vagina I don’t remember seeing since the last time she made me play “Pirate Treasure Hunt” and even that took me about two hours to pull off….

Posted in:Morgan Fairchild|Oldies|Unsorted

2007

23

Apr

I am – Morgan Fairchild's Tits of the Day

3 Comments »

It’s always been said that men age gracefully and women fall apart at the seams the older they get, you know men get more distinguished as their hair gets grey and women try everything in their power to fight it, whether it’s with dye jobs, plastic surgery or intense work outs. They try to keep things interesting by becoming dirtier in bed and easier to get into bed, but it doesn’t change the fact that their tits aim to the ground, and their vagina’s dry up. But there are always exceptions to every rule and Morgan Fairchild makes post-menopausal unprotected sex an amazing bonus instead of a reason why you’re getting in bed with someone’s grandmother….sure bitch has a bit of a muff gut going on, but I wish a muff gut was all my wife had instead a buried vagina I don’t remember seeing since the last time she made me play “Pirate Treasure Hunt” and even that took me about two hours to pull off….

Posted in:Morgan Fairchild|Oldies|Unsorted

2007

23

Apr

I am – Jennifer Tilly’s Big Ol’ Tits of the Day

1 Comment »

Big tits are a perfect distraction from a stupid dress that has plastic windows sewn onto it. I remember when I used to work at a marina and part of my job was zipping on the canvas roofs during rainstorms and the shit had windows made out of the same material. I guess the truth is that this bitch is thick enough to be a boat, and her tits are what makes her float.

Sometimes I think that tits are my enemy, they distract me from realizing a bitch is busted because I am too busy focusing on them bounce. Since I haven’t had a boner in a long time, it doesn’t leave me waking up the next morning in bed with a monster, but I know that tits have the power to do that to me.

Either way, Jennifer Tilly has some big ol’ tits that you can look at this glorious Monday.

Posted in:Jennifer Tilly|Unsorted

2007

23

Apr

I am – Jennifer Tilly's Big Ol' Tits of the Day

1 Comment »

Big tits are a perfect distraction from a stupid dress that has plastic windows sewn onto it. I remember when I used to work at a marina and part of my job was zipping on the canvas roofs during rainstorms and the shit had windows made out of the same material. I guess the truth is that this bitch is thick enough to be a boat, and her tits are what makes her float.

Sometimes I think that tits are my enemy, they distract me from realizing a bitch is busted because I am too busy focusing on them bounce. Since I haven’t had a boner in a long time, it doesn’t leave me waking up the next morning in bed with a monster, but I know that tits have the power to do that to me.

Either way, Jennifer Tilly has some big ol’ tits that you can look at this glorious Monday.

Posted in:Jennifer Tilly|Unsorted

2007

23

Apr

I am – Ivanka Trump Lookin’ Fat of the Day

52 Comments »

I am not much for knowing what’s up in fashion, but this shit is kinda lesbionic. Bitch may be following her daddy’s lead in trying to be the hollywood example of what corporate america should look like and in doing that looks like a dude. I know that most women in business like to hide everything feminine about them as to not distract the person they are dealing with from the deal they are cutting or someshit, but after playing a little business man for too long, it’s like a bitch grows a pair of testicles. I know Ivanka’s got potential to look good on all fours in a bikini or lingerie in Playboy, but she ruins in by hiding it in one of her dad’s expensive suits. If I cross my eyes and pretend I am playing the magic eye, I can kinda see some tit definition reminding me that this act will all come to a crashing end when she releases a sex tape or some shit. Until then, I am sticking to the Ivanka Trump really has a dick theory.

Posted in:Ivanka Trump|Unsorted

2007

23

Apr

I am – Ivanka Trump Lookin' Fat of the Day

No Comments »

I am not much for knowing what’s up in fashion, but this shit is kinda lesbionic. Bitch may be following her daddy’s lead in trying to be the hollywood example of what corporate america should look like and in doing that looks like a dude. I know that most women in business like to hide everything feminine about them as to not distract the person they are dealing with from the deal they are cutting or someshit, but after playing a little business man for too long, it’s like a bitch grows a pair of testicles. I know Ivanka’s got potential to look good on all fours in a bikini or lingerie in Playboy, but she ruins in by hiding it in one of her dad’s expensive suits. If I cross my eyes and pretend I am playing the magic eye, I can kinda see some tit definition reminding me that this act will all come to a crashing end when she releases a sex tape or some shit. Until then, I am sticking to the Ivanka Trump really has a dick theory.

Posted in:Ivanka Trump|Unsorted

2007

23

Apr

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

1 Comment »

I am an idiot, you probably already know that, but yesterday after drinking a pitcher of beer in the afternoon, I came home to some Caribbean food my stepdaughter’s boyfriend, or some guy she’s banging cuz she likes hip hop, made. I started to hoover that shit up because the chicken was better than the shit I normally eat, anyway, I got a chicken bone lodged in my throat, I thought I was dying and my wife called 911. I got to the hospital, they shoved an IV in my arm and after 5 hours of waiting, a doctor shoved a metal thing down my throat like I was on a porn site and we were shooting a deep throat scene. He didn’t see anything, waited for the drugs to wear off and sent me home. I spent most of the night looking at the ceiling thinking I was going to choke to death because dude didn’t find the bone, but eventually passed out to the sound of my wife’s apnea. I am still here and here are my links, 2 or 3 days too late, but be happy I am still alive, unless of course the bone re-surfaces in my sleep tonight and kills me, but I am hoping the odds are against that.

Here are my links….

Paris Hilton’s Number, Lohan’s Email, Probably Disconnected by Now. I had these for Months but kept them for a Rainy Day, Seems Like Someone Beat Me To It – Oops
GO

Alessandra Ambrosio Hot Panty Pic
GO

She’s a Nutcracker Video
GO

Debbie Does Dallas NYC Party Video
GO

More Pictures from Debbie Does Dallas NYC Party
GO

Where did You Lose Your Virginity, If You’ve Lost Your Virginity, Which I Doubt
GO

Sexy Triplets in Bikinis – Because Fertility Drugs Are A Good Thing Sometimes
GO

Some Slut on Myspace, Who I Don’t Think Is Actually On Myspace
GO

Beyonce, Kimora and Tyra Together
GO

Selma Blair Went to Rehab
GO

Britney is Out and About in a New Wig and New Contacts
GO

Paris Hilton Driving With a Suspended License
GO

Some Greek Bitch in Greek Maxim
GO

Top 10 Teenage Breakups on TV
GO

Tits on a Party Girl
GO

Girls Aloud in School Girl Uniforms
GO

Playboy Magazine in the 1960s
GO

Pete Doherty Vs the Paparazzi
GO

Some Webcam Ass Video
GO

MY FHM has Pics of Naked Chicks
GO

Bathroom BJ that’s NSFW Unless Your Job is Sucking Dick in the Bathroom, Which it Probably Is, Homo
GO

Imogen Gray Nude in Maxim
GO

Lohan’s Tight Ass
GO

Playboy’s Top 10 Party Schools
GO

Lohan is a Street Hooker of the Day
GO

Photobucket Erotica
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Jessica Simpson Remixed with a Fat Brown Chick
GO

One of My Readers has Porn Site, This is It and All The Chicks Look Like $5 Whores which is only a good thing when you have a $5 budget…
GO

Jamie Lee Curtis Pokies – Even Though She Used to Be a Man
GO

Some Amateur Named Tiff
GO

Mischa Showing Off Her Flubber Legs in Shorts
GO

Some Debbie Does Dallas Again – First Hand Experience on the Set from the Supervising Producer
GO

Girl has a Trampoline Crash
GO

Smoking Vagina
GO

Photobucket Girl Showing Her Ass and Titties…
GO

Peaches Fucks the Pain Away in Mayberry, Some Weird Youtube Video That Took Way Too Much Work to Make
GO

I’m a Sexy Girl is Probably the Worst Song and Least Sexy Girl on Cam
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Tara Patrick Lookin “SEXY”?
GO

Christina Ricci Will Not Be Getting Nude Anytime Soon
GO

DoubleViking Does Body Shots With Homeless People
GO

Looking Good Sweetheart – Don’t Click This – Trust Me
GO

Ana Beatriz Barros Photoshoot Video
GO

Torrie Wilson in FHM Slutting Her Big Tits Out
GO

Some Dude Living the Ninja Turtle Dream
GO

Bar Rafaeli In Some Magazine In Some Bikini With Leo’s Cum Dripping Down Her Leg…Or Not
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS|Unsorted

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