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Archive for the Unsorted Category

2006

19

Sep

I am – Jessica Biel's Bra of the Day

JessicaBielTOP.jpg

I think I have OCD. I saw these pics and even though I had nothing to say about them but I knew that the other sites who post them will get a ton of traffic for them. I also know that no one has posted these yet. So I have no choice but to post them because otherwise I wil sit here kicking myself in the ass about not posting them even though I really don’t care about them. See that’s the kinda shit that goes on in my head in running this piece of shit site. These are the useless stresses I have in my life. On a positive note, I have a lot of real stresses in my life like putting food on the table and paying rent and whether I am dying or not. So look at the pics.

Here’s a “song” I wrote 5 years ago when drunk. It’s really life-changing – in a negative way. Cuddles.

Bam Bam, I ate a ham,
The smell is sweet,
I know I can
Bam Bam
I ate a Ham
The color or your hair
Makes me a man
and you a ma’am
well ma’am can you do a hand stand?
Take of your pants and do it again…

Posted in:Jessica Biel|Unsorted

2006

19

Sep

I am – Jessica Biel’s Bra of the Day

JessicaBielTOP.jpg

I think I have OCD. I saw these pics and even though I had nothing to say about them but I knew that the other sites who post them will get a ton of traffic for them. I also know that no one has posted these yet. So I have no choice but to post them because otherwise I wil sit here kicking myself in the ass about not posting them even though I really don’t care about them. See that’s the kinda shit that goes on in my head in running this piece of shit site. These are the useless stresses I have in my life. On a positive note, I have a lot of real stresses in my life like putting food on the table and paying rent and whether I am dying or not. So look at the pics.

Here’s a “song” I wrote 5 years ago when drunk. It’s really life-changing – in a negative way. Cuddles.

Bam Bam, I ate a ham,
The smell is sweet,
I know I can
Bam Bam
I ate a Ham
The color or your hair
Makes me a man
and you a ma’am
well ma’am can you do a hand stand?
Take of your pants and do it again…

Posted in:Jessica Biel|Unsorted

2006

19

Sep

I am – Victoria Beckham Nipples of the Day

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These are some brand new Victoria Beckham Nipples for the day. Because all the lame sites were writing about her “fake” nip slip yesterday, and unlike virgin’s, I don’t zoom into ULTRA HIGH QUALITY pics, looking for a little areola to get off to. I wait for the nipple to smack me in the face like in these pictures. I guess bitch is striving to get some male attention because when your husband is a poofter it’s hard to feel desirable or sexy. Nothing a little sheer top won’t change. I could cum to titty back in 1990, but I’m so desenitized I can’t even get it up anymore. Speaking of not getting it up scroll past the Beckham pics for MUNG’s post of the day. He’s like the credits at the end of the movie. Only the losers read them.



BONUS: Beckham’s Mom and Fat Sister. I Guess when growing up, she was the Ball and He was the Player


And Now Mung:

Today must be my birthday. I am pretty sure my birthday was 3 months ago, but apparently not. I could have sworn that 3 months ago I was wearing a birthday hat, sitting on perverts row alone with a Strawberry Daquiri in hand, watching a pregnant toothless indian dancing to Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin”, but apparently not. You see, the reason I think it is my birthday today is because I opened my e-mail and found these little gems. Now usually Christina doesn’t do much for my pathetic excuse for a child’s penis because she normally looks like an abused hooker on meth, but these pictures made my testicles tingle and my underwear sticky. I have decided to print these photos out and post them on my headboard, that way when I am making love to the hole in my mattress that I packed with lean ground beef, it will sorta feel like I am making sweet passionate love to her beaten up mickey mouse club vagina.

Happy Birthday to me. Now go fuck off.

MUNG



Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

19

Sep

I am – Lohan’s All Broken and Shit of the Day

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Here are some pics of Lohan covering her broken wrist. I’d like to wish her a speedy recovery and to remember when jerking off herself or others, she can always rock the other hand. I have read a few articles on people with medical fetishes , there’s a whole community based on getting off to people in casts or on stretchers. Now, I know you can’t control what gives you a boner and I guess this shit is harmless in the grand scheme of thing, just don’t let your one night stand see the mock-doctor’s office that you’ve set up in your basement to live out the fantasy. I have a feeling that will not go over as well as you hope. I also realize that the chances of you being able to afford a medical table and equipment is about as likely as you being able to land a one night stand. That’s why I am not worried. Have you seen the movie Crash, no about cops and car accidents that won an academy award while sucking my cock, I’m talking the other Crash that was about people who get off to cripples and accident victims. Well if that’s your fetish, a broken wrist to Lohan is like a head on collision, leaving you paralized to the avereage person. She’s over-dramatic like that.

Speaking of movies, I found this movie idea on my old hard drive. I am not going to lie, I have wanted to write a movie the last 10 years, and after reading this idea, you’ll realize why I am sitting in a shitty apartment writing this post and not the creepy dude next to Lohan in these pics.

Character driven film showing the events that follow in a man and woman’s life after a drunken one-night stand results in pregnancy. The film compare the man and woman’s views in dealing with this situation. The woman wants to keep the baby and has baby showers, shopes for baby clothes and chooses the baby’s names, while attempting to get closer to the father, while the man wants to get rid of the burden and plots different ways to avoid her, including moving and changing his name. He decides the best strategy is to try to force her to miscarry. In trying to eliminate the baby, the man ends up falling in love with her, they have a shotgun wedding and live happily ever after.

After reading that, I don’t know why I haven’t been signed yet. That’s a genius fucking story. I call it a love story of today’s generation. Now look at the Lohan pics while I sit her bitter that everyone is out to get me.

PS – I am only posting my next post after I see 10 comments in this post. That’s how my cue is gonna work. Go fuck yourself.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

19

Sep

I am – Lohan’s All Broken and Shit of the Day

LohanWristTOP.jpg

Here are some pics of Lohan covering her broken wrist. I’d like to wish her a speedy recovery and to remember when jerking off herself or others, she can always rock the other hand. I have read a few articles on people with medical fetishes , there’s a whole community based on getting off to people in casts or on stretchers. Now, I know you can’t control what gives you a boner and I guess this shit is harmless in the grand scheme of thing, just don’t let your one night stand see the mock-doctor’s office that you’ve set up in your basement to live out the fantasy. I have a feeling that will not go over as well as you hope. I also realize that the chances of you being able to afford a medical table and equipment is about as likely as you being able to land a one night stand. That’s why I am not worried. Have you seen the movie Crash, about cops and car accidents that won an academy award while sucking my cock, I’m talking the other Crash that was about people who get off to cripples and accident victims. Well if that’s your fetish, a broken wrist to Lohan is like a head on collision, leaving you paralized to the avereage person. She’s over-dramatic like that.

Speaking of movies, I found this movie idea on my old hard drive. I am not going to lie, I have wanted to write a movie the last 10 years, and after reading this idea, you’ll realize why I am sitting in a shitty apartment writing this post and not the creepy dude next to Lohan in these pics.

Character driven film showing the events that follow in a man and woman’s life after a drunken one-night stand results in pregnancy. The film compare the man and woman’s views in dealing with this situation. The woman wants to keep the baby and has baby showers, shopes for baby clothes and chooses the baby’s names, while attempting to get closer to the father, while the man wants to get rid of the burden and plots different ways to avoid her, including moving and changing his name. He decides the best strategy is to try to force her to miscarry. In trying to eliminate the baby, the man ends up falling in love with her, they have a shotgun wedding and live happily ever after.

After reading that, I don’t know why I haven’t been signed yet. That’s a genius fucking story. I call it a love story of today’s generation. Now look at the Lohan pics while I sit her bitter that everyone is out to get me.

PS – I am only posting my next post after I see 10 comments in this post. That’s how my cue is gonna work. Go fuck yourself.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

19

Sep

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

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I am watching Oprah and she is doing a lesbian roadtrip in a Chevy with Gayle. I love watching her being followed by a whole crew/entourage with maps and ear pieces, giving her directions. Not quite the road trip you’d be going on, but then again you aren’t Oprah.

I got this email from some kind of genius:

So I have been given a few celeb phone numbers and I have been calling and texting them from my neighbor’s cell phone, since I can’t really afford one. He’s in on this with me because I am sure what we are doing isn’t illegal, it’s too funny to be illegal. I decided to send Paris, Nicole, Kimmy Stewart and Lohan a message to make them think they were getting “accidental” messages from a man to his mistress. This is what I wrote:

I miss you today more than I did yesterday. Our love burns my soul when I am not with you. The first time we kissed, i knew we were connected at the soul. I wish it happened before I met my cunt wife, then I could always be with you….

The first response came about 10 mins later from some menacing dude named Vinnie who called me to interrogate me about who I am and how I should be scared of him. I was uncomfortable with him calling me at 4 am. I was in bed and wasn’t feeling the conversation so I didn’t rip into him like I normally would have. I couldn’t record it – which is too bad because it was funny but that’s just what happens when you are me.

Paris Replies:

Who is this?

I reply and go to bed :

What’s up with pretending you don’t know! I am in bed my angel, wishing you were here instead of this pig of a woman. Did you just have some cha-chi motherfucker call me as a joke? Talk soon. Cuddles and Love.

I send this earlier this afternoon:

Angel…sorry I took so long to get back to you. I had to do damage control with the wife. She read last night’s msg saying she was a cunt. She wasn’t made about us though! I will be in Maryland next weekened to be with you. I can’t wait. Love you.

Paris Replies:

Who do you think you’re writing?

I reply:

Brenda, quit messing around. We met in July when I came to Maryland. We’ve been in myspace love since February. We ate crab. You’re so silly. Last night you had Vinnie call me and now this. You are a real joker and they’s why I am leaving my wife for you.

Paris Replies:

This isn’t Brenda, I don’t know what ur talking about. I’ve never been to maryland so don’t leave your wife for nothing.

So I write:

What do you mean this isn’t Brenda this is the number you gave me on Friday. You said it was your new cell. Are you telling me that she is trying to avoid me? I was ready to drop everything for her and I still am cuz I know you’re testing me. So funny! This is why I love you.

That’s probably the end of that. Speaking of end – here are some steplinks to end your day with a smile:

They call Camille an Avant- Garde Singer – I call Her Kitchen Garbage.
GO

Shakira Puts Her Legs Behind Her Head is Some Human Pretzel Slutty Kind of Way
GO

Mary Kate is Territorial When It Comes To The Men She’s Fuckin….We can All Blame Paris
GO

I never understood Weird Al – But I did Once Knew a Dude with a Man Crush Him. He ever had a Claymation model he made of him. That’s some Restraining order kind of shit. This is Weird Al’s new Music Video.
GO

Old Janet Jackson in FHM Pics
GO

Wynona Rider’s Skin Cancer Naked Billboard from Last Week
GO

Mary Carey Rides the Sybian at the Howard Stern Show. She’s Pretty Gross But This is Still Hot Because Both Her Parents are Retarded and she passes out.
GO

Burning Man is Some Weird Shit – Here’s a Gallery from this Year’s Event….
GO

Here are Some Pics of Jenya from Met Art Naked
GO

The Stoners Guide to Amsterdam – I didn’t check the site, I am just linking it
GO

Beckham Shows Off Her Panties
GO

Sexy Links To Get You Through the Night
GO

700,000 People Have Seen This Panty Video, Have you?
GO

2 Ugly Girls Dancing Video….
GO

Check out these Hot Slags All Wet on Spanish TV
GO

Kelly Brook Bikini from Last Week
GO

Kristen Cavalari Myspace Pics
GO

Interesting Scene at the Bar
GO

Girls Showering Used to Be a Fetish of Mine
GO

Open Bar in Austin and there’s no Nipple…
GO

Vote on the Booble Girl Contest NOW
GO

Dan From Roseanne on My Shirt – NO WAY!!
GO

Diaper Porn
GO

Whore Submission 9
GO

Pheromones Get Losers Laid
GO

Speaking of Losers – Here’s Zini’s Gallery – HA – I am Joking – I love Zini
GO

This is a DO where I come From
GO

Self Pic of the Day
GO

This person has a diaper fetish
GO

Hot Girl From Montreal Who I’ve Never Met
GO

A little bellydrop action
GO

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

18

Sep

I am – Heidi Klum has Jungle Fever of the Day

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Not only does bitch having babies for the black man, but she also hires them to carry her umberella. Either she is re-living the slave era where the daughter of a plantation owner falls in love and gets knocked up by one of the cotton pickers and runs off with him and his singing brothers on the underground railway to Canada, or she’s integrating herself into the black scene to better understand the culture to help raise her baby. Or maybe she just relates to black people because she’s German and German’s are the black sheep of Europe. I am not going to get into this “once you go black you never go back” bullshit beause Heidi may be blonde but her ass isn’t fat enough for that. On that note, here’s a comment claiming I am a racist who can’t spell:

this has to be the dumbest article i have ever read.the guy who wrote it, must be a meth addict or a heroin junkie.the article is almost impossible to understand, and it has numerous falsehoods.one being,the hearsts ownership of ESPN,which is owned by ABC/Disney.another falsehood, is lydia being a ford model, which she is not.Maybe, you should work on your grammar and fact checking, because nobody cares if a complete moron is being racist.

My Response:

Models.com Claims Lydia Hears is a Ford Model GO

HearstCorp.com Claims that ESPN is their Flagship Porperty GO

So stop trying to shit on my fucking parade, we all knowing dissing someone’s grammar or spelling online is the weakest dis there is, especially when you write like this: “the guy who wrote it, must be a meth addict or a heroin junkie.” or “Maybe, you should work on your grammar and fact checking, because nobody cares if a complete moron is being racist.” Idiot.

PS. I am not Racist, I am funny. There’s a difference.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

18

Sep

I am – Shakira Trying to Rock Out of the Day

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I was just watching episodes of Degrassi the Next generation, I know you have this shit in the USA. It’s talent show day and I just saw the cunt who looks like a elf do some kind of experimental dance. Now there’s a fat girl and some hooker looking girl in a glittery shirt singing and dancing a fool. The point of all this is to say that I would rather see them perform than see Shakira rock a guitar. I don’t even know where the guitar entered her act, I remember when she couldn’t handle English, but seduced record execs by singing about her breasts, while giving them her freshly farmed family cocaine. She was a song and dance act.

Speaking of a song and dance act that introduced a guitar and ruined themself doing it, I bring you MUNG. He left some of the best comments on the site, I actually laughed at some of them and I never laugh, and he decided it was time to start posting. Unfortunatly, the posts aren’t as rockin’ as the comments once were…From now on, we call him Shakira.

Hi Jesus,

I have decided to let you write posts now because people say I should stick to writing comments instead of writing posts. I guess my dream of being a blogger on someone else’s website has been crushed by your readers. Tell them thanks a lot! As for my drug experiment, it actually went quite horribly. I hadn’t smoked hash oil in about ten years and I decided to smoke the entire vial to myself. After the fifth joint my eyes began shutting and Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas began feeling like real life…then I snapped out of my drug enhanced state and realized I wasn’t with a gun who could steal cars, pick up prostitutes, fuck them, beat them with a purple dildo until they were bleeding out every orifice of their body, and then take my money back. It sure would be a lot cooler if my life was like that and I wasn’t an overweight, balding, unemployed loser who lives in his parents basement and smokes hash oil and tells people he has never met about his experience doing it. After about 9 hours of playing PS2 I decided to shut it down @ 5:30 AM and I went to bed. I didn’t get up until 4:00PM the next day and I felt unmotivated to do anything. I was hungry but didn’t have the energy to peel my face off the pillow on my couch.

I guess I would have to say my experience with hash oil was pretty brutal. It made me feel like my life was more worthless than usual. Now I owe Patterson 20 bucks. I probably won’t pay him. He usually forgets about the people he spots anyways. Now I have to find a new drug to try this Friday. Someone by the name of drphilgood mentioned cat tranquilizers. I think it might be a good idea. Oh well, I thought I would let you know how it went. Nobody seems to care about this shit anyways but you will post it because I know you have nothing better to write and talk about because your life is just as hideous as mine.

Now go fuck off,

MUNG



Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

18

Sep

I am – Brooke Shields is a Man of the Day

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A friend of mine fixed a 4 year old hard drive I had lying around the mess that is my bedroom/office/washroom. I am slowly going through some of the shit that I have on it. This is from a long time before I started the site but I was still funny, assuming you find me funny now. Which you probably don’t. Either way, read it:

I went on a walk today and I came across a 50 year old china woman – she was lost and told me she lived with her parents. She asked for directions to get home and i asked her to sleep with me – she said no, so i asked to see her tits – she said no, so i asked what color bra she had on and she walked away. I was drunk and in retrospect, I don’t think she was a china woman at all, I think she was Inuit. That was at 6 am – i was drunk.

I am – celebrity….bitch

I guess things don’t really change in 4 years. Speaking of things never changing, Brooke Shields, despite all the signs that she’s a mom, still looks like she’s rockin’ a bigger cock than you, which may not be saying much, but it’s still a fucking PENIS and mom’s don’t have Penis, at least mine didn’t but I guess I shouldn’t speak for you.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

18

Sep

I am – Laura Manzanedo Topless Pics of the Day

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Laura Manzanedo is some Spanish slag who is running around topless at the beach, like some kind of topless bitch at the beach.
I just rolled out of bed and had to finish this post because I got this email I got from T., a regular commenter on the site. She’s been sending me things to post for the last month and I never take the time to read them or post them. I am an asshole like that. I read this one though and it’s about the how slutty 13 year old girls are on the swim team are. I know this is a shitty post, but then again…aren’t they all.

Jesus,

You keep asking for my nudes. You think the reason you’re not getting them is because I’m uptight. Maybe even a prude. Truth of the matter is, I have no shame regarding my body and so, keeping with the step-tradition of saying inappropriate things about underage girls, I can at least provide a sampling from the female prospective.

It was on the swim team starting at the tender age of 8 that I discovered everything about the human body and its fluids. I learned at a young age that Speedos aren’t half bad if the person wearing them is well hung. You can see all the details in the those things, and you guessed it, talked about them relentlessly in the locker room. And yes, we were often naked together in the shower…

Swimmers are really dirty. There is nothing a swimmer has to hide. The body is out at all times. We shamelessly sit pretzel-style in our suits and grab boob and balls under the lane lines. We experiment with different shaving styles as soon as we have pubes.

Swimmers from a small town are exceptionally dirty. Partners are swapped monthly and girl on girl kissing during Truth or Dare is boring by the time you get to high school. Rather, group flashing became a trend for us, boobs out and about every chance we got, even at a pep rally. Yes. 2,000 students from New Mexico have seen my boobs, and you haven’t. For that I’m sorry. If you keep working me over, I may one of these days trust you enough to not post them up all over the place, but until that time, I will continue titillating you in other ways.

Love,
T.


Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted