Everyone loves this bitch. I love her boyfriend. Not because I am gay, but because he swim’s in shirts…anyone who goes to the beach with a custom beach shirt as to not get a sun burn is a fucking hero in my eyes. I don’t give a fuck about this girl….I am all about the shirt and the way her bathing suit’s got frills like a girl in preschool…

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I am – Evangeline Lilys Boyfriend’s Shirt

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This is a music video from a band named “Eagles of Death Metal”. It’s probably the gayest name for a band, but I am down with gay, when it is masked with images of boobs in bikinis. The singer is in a band called “Queens of a Stone Age” and I will not pretend to know who they are, that means if I have never heard of them, they probably are a piece of shit band. Anyway, this clip has girls in bikinis with guns, rocking out, getting sprayed down and they show a little nipple. If I was 12, this would totally get me hard. I am not 12 but happy dealing with images of bikinis. Do you remember when bitches would only rock the one-piece…bikinis were for whores, well now they are for everyone. .I like how violence and sex in the media is influencing bitches to wear bikinis. I am drunk.

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Have you ever seen Ladybugs, I know Rodney Dangerfield is in that shit. It’s about some girly boy who knows soccer, who dresses like a girl, joins the girl soccer team. That is where the William’s father came up with the idea to put his boys in the girl tennis league. I am not even gonna touch fergie on this one, not into AIDS today…cuddles.

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Have you ever seen Ladybugs, I know Rodney Dangerfield is in that shit. It’s about some girly boy who knows soccer, who dresses like a girl, joins the girl soccer team. That is where the William’s father came up with the idea to put his boys in the girl tennis league. I am not even gonna touch fergie on this one, not into AIDS today…cuddles.

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The only reason I am doing this post is because I think it’s funny. The reason this is funny, for all of you with no sense of humor, is because this women goes down to the beach somewhere for vacation. She’s some mother who works in a bank, lives in the suburb, has two grown up kids, goes to church every sunday, makes dinner for the family every sunday night, has bbq’s in the summer for all the neighbors to come check out, she has a cottage and two dogs that she bought with all the money she saved by buying her clothes at Wal Mart. Anyway, this bitch goes down on vacation, gets a little crazy, takes off her shirt and now she’s on the internet. That is good comedy.

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I am not against small tits. In fact, I like small tits better than big tits. Some may think it’s my little boy fetish, which I only have if the little boy’s wearing a one-piece pyjama, you know the ones with that cover the feet. I think I am only into those pyjamas because growing up I never had a pair. My mom weaved some kinda skirt out of twigs and mud that I would sleep in everynight. I always tried to sleep naked but then she’s smack me and start praying to the Santa Maria. Either way, when the Baptists from Texas found me, they said I had ringworm which I got from the twig nightgown my whore mother made me wear. Point of the story is, Ashley Olsen looks like the retard I described fucking in my last post. You like how this post relates to that post, admit it. You fucking cunt.

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I am not against small tits. In fact, I like small tits better than big tits. Some may think it’s my little boy fetish, which I only have if the little boy’s wearing a one-piece pyjama, you know the ones with that cover the feet. I think I am only into those pyjamas because growing up I never had a pair. My mom weaved some kinda skirt out of twigs and mud that I would sleep in everynight. I always tried to sleep naked but then she’s smack me and start praying to the Santa Maria. Either way, when the Baptists from Texas found me, they said I had ringworm which I got from the twig nightgown my whore mother made me wear. Point of the story is, Ashley Olsen looks like the retard I described fucking in my last post. You like how this post relates to that post, admit it. You fucking cunt.

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Basic Instinct is a movie with cooter, that’s like Doctor’s Without Borders, but more vaginal. They have some 45 year old slag, whose career was launched by spreading her legs on the big screen, essentially making her a really bad pornstar, cuz she doesn’t do penetration shots…simulated sex is for faggots who haven’t realized they are faggots. This movie is for 14 year old boys whose mother’s have put a block on their computer so they can’t see what real fucking is all about. Save your plot/story/script for a straight to Movie Store release and show me some double anal penetration. You think I say that to try and be shocking? Double anal exists and I fucking love it, I wasn’t using it to be shocking. I don’t think anything today is all that shocking. I could be posting pics of me fucking a 12 year old boy with downs syndrome, and no one would notice, except maybe the FBI and the orderly at the retard home who has an fetish for this kind of thing, you know who you are, Pervert.

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Swedish people are insane, with their Ikea’s, their meatballs, their streetwear, their hot blond big breasted women. Swedish people are insane. I don’t know if this is a real movie or if it’s an internet scam, but I thought it was funny, and so did 100,000 other people who have already seen this. I am not an innovator, but I do remember the last time I asked a girl for a hand job, I did it knowing that I can’t get it up, and she was one of those competitive bitches. She didn’t realize I was impotent, she just thought she was doing something wrong. She kept working it and working it, me laughing her struggling to understand, the whole ordeal ended with my dick all raw. Probably the best handjob of my life.

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Funny that celebrities can’t even buy lingerie without people like me taking pics and making them available to the world. It is funny that anyone really cares, cuz I know I don’t really, I just kinda fell into this and feel obligated to keep this up. I get emails all the time stating how I saved people’s lives, and although I have 4 readers a day, I feel a need to give you all that I can.

Now Jennifer Love is probably the most boring celebrity. She’s a good girl who probably isn’t a good good girl, the kind who takes it up the ass and begs to get fucked behind closed doors, she’s more of the girl who wants to play scrabble with you. Anyway her man obviously had enough and made bitch go sexy lingerie shopping. I am sure he thought fuckin’ Love Hewitt would be a lote more thahan it tuned out to be. I love when that happens, sucker.

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