It’s one of those days where my hoards of fans didn’t wake me up to countless Vagina pics, It must be because last night was taco tuesday and they spend the night scooping shit off their pussy lips due to their explosive diarrhea – you know the way you’d want the pussy of your hoards […]

Due to alcoholism, I spent most of this beautiful summer day in my basement apartment with blacked out windows – sleeping and texting random girls to send me pussy pics. I find that if you demand a pussy pic, since this is a feminist era, you probably won’t get one…the tactic needs to be tricking […]

I like tormenting people with very vulgar text messages…you know just to make them feel really uncomfortable. Today, I told a girl that I wanted her to smash me in the face with her pussy until I died…you know from drowning on her fluids… To which she responded saying “pretend I am 16 and you’re […]

I probably shouldn’t have gone in on a pair of LULU Lemons a woman was wearing in the grocery store…or as I like to call it, the only place I go to socialize because I have a fat wife who always wants food…. But when you see a woman in LULU Lemons, it’s an invitation […]

The highlight of my night was when my friend who was out of town’s wife hit me up because she had no cash on hand to leave the kid as the “tooth fairy”…because we live in a plastic world… To which I asked how much she needed, she said 5 dollars, and I started negotiating […]

I didn’t bother with April Fools because I woke up after noon when it is over and I didn’t put the effort in coming up with a played out joke, the only one I wanted to do was announce my death and disappear until next April Fools, but no one cares about me and wouldn’t […]

Diary of a Facebook Prisoner: Jesus Martinez DAY 10.5 in Facebook Jail I realized that only 1 person out of all my FB friends realized that I am not posting on Facebook… If that’s not some serious social media clout and/or influence, I don’t know what is… I’m a fucking influencer, that one person relies […]

The Internet is So Mainstream…. Here are some stepLINKS… Huge Fucking Tits CLICK HERE Korean Girls Try To Open Their Eyes CLICK HERE Guy Shoots Kid with an Airsoft Rifle CLICK HERE Bella Thorne Braless CLICK HERE Hollywood Scrambles for “TOP VICTIM” – Topless Julie Demply Says it’s Women.. CLICK HERE Bieber Tried to Bang […]

If I was to describe my sex life in two words…it would be Sleep Apnea… That’s all I have to say about that… Here is some nightly links… Butts on a Shelf CLICK HERE The People’s Choice Awards are so Bad… CLICK HERE Girls Who Aren’t Wearing Bras… CLICK HERE Bella Thorne in Action – […]