DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2014

18

Nov

Alyssa Barbara by Torrey West of the Day

I can’t figure out why Alyssa Barbara isn’t more famous than she is, because if it was up to me, I would take this Canadian busty babe, and turn her into the next Pamela Anderson, I’m talking get her into the Baywatch remake, they did one with 90210, they can do one with lifeguards, only maybe they should switch it up and make them lifeguards in my bathroom, so that I don’t drown when taking a bath, and when I’m not bathing they can hose down the whale that is my wife….you know so she doesn’t dry out and die…even though that could be a good thing…

That said, Alyssa Barbara is amazing, and I’m not just saying that because of Canada pride, I don’t have Canada pride, I don’t think Canadians are great, but when they look like this, I mean they could be Nazi’s in Nazi Germany out to ethnic cleanse my Mexican ass , and I’d be totally eager, hoping they administer the poison us via her breast milk I need to suck out…that may be a weird fetish to some, but when dealing with something that looks like this…there is no such thing as weird…it’s all glorious and sent from heaven.

Pics are by someone named Torrey West….

Posted in:Alyssa Barbara

2014

18

Nov

Bryana Holly for Galore of the Day

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Instagram model – B Holly B blocked me from Instagram a while ago, she didn’t like my interpretation of what she represents that I based off her fake tits and her relationship with a Kardashian, that I guess got her on the show, to get her “modelling” career off the ground….a modelling career that only really exists because of the number of instagram followers she has…It’s what we call new generation modelling agency…where brands use a girl only because they want to reach her followers and build up their social media…almost like running an ad campaign…because if this was 10 years ago, they wouldn’t have cared about social presence, or confused followers with relevance, like MTV did with Tila Tequila so many years ago…it was like “She’s so big on Myspace, she must matter, let’s give her a show, even though she’s a porn chick”…but I guess that’s just the nature of the interent….

That’s not to say I don’t feel a romantic connection with Bryana Holly, I like to think any girl who follows me is only doing it to play hard to get, I mean it technically means she knows I exist, and knowing I exist is the first step to unwanted pregancy…

So Bryana Holly …if you’re out there…let’s hope you don’t have a Brody Jenner Kardashian herpes outbreak…so that we can at least try to make babies with my mouth…

Feel free to email me where you want to meet up so that our love can happen…..

These pics were for my friends at GALORE

Posted in:Bryana Holly

2014

18

Nov

Christina Milian’s Hard Nipples of the Day

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When you are a one hit wonder who was smart enough to have a baby with the number one pop song producer and writer – “The Dream”….only to get your name put on the song writing credits of all the hit songs…giving you life of residual royalty payments…so that you never have to work again…even though the one thing you really always wanted was to be the popstar that you are getting writing credits for…you know that fame and glory of everyone wanting to be her, what she may have experienced once with Dip it Low…but that fizzled out and turned into being a single mom part time host of one segment of The Voice…and not the Judge…you turn to social media to showcase your nipples…you know to let the 12 people who care know that they are still there…and this is what that looks like.

Posted in:Christina Milian

2014

18

Nov

Jonathan Leder’s Fetishism Manifesto Vol 2 of the Day

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Jonathan Leder is a friend of mine who I have never actually met, but this is the internet, and it counts, otherwise I’d technically still be a virgin, since all the girls I have been with are from the Internet…

I figure we’re at that point in humanity where you don’t need to really leave your house, interact with people, have real interpersonal relationships, or any of that other nonsense, you can just kick it and travel the world on social media and youtube….

That said, Jonathan Leder does leave the house, he’s a great erotic photographer who has done more than just erotic, but who I guess likes erotica because sexuality is awesome…and what better thing to take pics of…

He has gone on to start his on skin mag, basically with an old school pin-up/playboy vibe….and this is what he has to say about it:

A Study in Fetishisms is a thought provoking, erotic publication. The second volume of ‘A Study in Fetishisms’ embodies the idea of ‘Blondes’ – from dirty to platinum. It is a tribute to the spirit of America, it’s fascinations with life, glamor, beauty and tragedy, and to the women that made, and continue to make, it possible. A Bi-Annual collectible, Volumes 1 & 2 are featured at the PS1 MOMA / MOCA book fairs.

Volume 2 is a 5.5 x 8.5″ – 64 Page booklet printed on 80lb dull coated paper, with the best printing possible.

Starring Kayslee Collins, Molly Constable, Lindsay Jones, Amy Hood and other lovely ladies.

Here is a preview…looks hot to me.

FIND OUT MORE HERE

Posted in:Jonathan Leder

2014

18

Nov

Sabine by Eddie Chacon for S-Magazine of the Day

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Sabine is some model I’ve never heard of, but she’s topless for the SMAGAZINE BLOG …in pictures that were shot by > EDDIE CHACON …a photographer I’ve never heard of….but who takes topless pics of girls for magazines, so I am forced to like him….I mean sure…spread ass is the kind of modelling I demand from in sexts from my “fans” I meet on TINDER, but when it comes to introductions to new girls, like Sabine, topless in studio works alright for me…I mean how could you hate on this…it’s not selling anything, it’s not promoting anything, it’s just some girl with no last name topless…and that’s the kind of simplicity I appreciate.

Posted in:Sabine

2014

18

Nov

Kim Cloutier’s Hot Canadian Tits in Some Adam Sandler Movie of the Day

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Kim Cloutier is from Montreal Canada, I have probably met her at some French Canadian pow wow event where all the french people get together and protest english, have anal sex on the first encounter, compare their steroids bodies, tribal tattoos and fake tits, and do other french people things, like eat Poutine, smoke cheap cigs, drink cheap beer, and collect welfare…

I guess this one has moved out of that lazy, lower income bracket stereotype, and has taken her modeling career to acting, where she plays the naked girl in an Adam Sandler movie called The Cobbler….where he is a shoe maker, that finds the power to live through the shoes of his customers, because sometimes walking in another man’s shoes allows you to find yourself…even though Cobbler’s barely exist anymore, we just throw our old shoes out and buy new ones, but good premise bro, glad Hollywood hasn’t fallen to absolute total shit.

Posted in:Kim Cloutier

2014

18

Nov

Jessie Andrews Bush or Terry Richardson of the Day

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If you read this site, you will know that I love BUSH, I think it is the greatest fashion accessory for a vagina, other than my dick…provided I could find my dick, I am pretty fat and it is a scavenger hunt I am not really into trying….but bush…bush brings me flashbacks of my youth, it made vaginas exciting to explore, you had to dick for the clit and there was nothing more glorious than a matted dread lock of a bunch of pubic hair to really get me off…I still have visions of braiding my beard into bush…and most importantly, when I find a bush, usually on a hipster because they are lazy, but also get that being different is ok, even if in being different they are being the same as all the other hipsters…they get that it is an opportunity to craft their own vision for their vagina, shape it the way they want, to share with the world….”this is my pubic hair”….

You see I don’t hate bald pussy, it just reminds me of the Kardashians and Jersey Shore, it’s so mainstream and suburban…and lacks excitement, it’s just typical thanks to dudes thinking hair is gross and the media creating a false need.

That said, Jessie Andrews is an overrated pornstar, she has fucked alot, she’s pretty hip and cool working for American Apparel and Terry Richardson and other hipster nonsense, she’s also a DJ, and here is her bush you’ve probably seen before, but this time it’s for fashion…making it seemingly so different…

Posted in:Jessie Andrews

2014

18

Nov

Emily Osment Fitness Porn of the Day

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Her name is Emily Osment, I just always assumed she was her brother Haley Joel, who was at one point the Jennifer Lawrence of his Generation, you know getting Oscar Nominations as a child because he was just so innately talented at the craft of acting, before hitting puberty, and having everyone realize he’s no longer cute, so he went tranny to have a second go at a career his parents raped his youth for him to have…it was either that or turn to drugs and suicide…

Well now, she’s doing fitness poses, for some fitness brand, that probably paid her 3,000 – 10,000 dollars…and tranny or not, I dig the ass.

Posted in:Emily Osment

2014

18

Nov

Nicki Minaj Did Complex of the Day

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Nicki Minaj is one of the more annoying popstars, who came in after a casting at her acting school, where she was asked if she could play the Black Lady Gaga, to which she agreed to, leading to huge success and the platform to transition into Hip Hop Vixen, where she is less about dressing like a circus clown and more about being slutty…and singing about fucking and sucking cock…because strippers is the girl’s role in the hip hop world…

That said, she is the Complex Covergirl, where she showed off her fat ass and fat titties and you can read the interview HERE ….and I suggest you do…becasue Complex are our friends and family and have been supporting DrunkenStepfather since the 1990s when I was given my first free Ecko Rhino shirt…I mean they’ve even featured me in their magazine…because that’s what friends and family do…

Check it out.

Posted in:Nicki Minaj

2014

18

Nov

Mayweather Watches Girls Twerk of the Day

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"If GOD made anything better than a woman, I don't want it" #mrmylifeistheshit #tmt #tmg www.themoneyteam.com

Een video die is geplaatst door Floyd Mayweather (@floydmayweather) op Nov 11, 2014 at 6:42 PST

Floyd Mayweather is pretty entertaining. I don’t follow his antics, but he’s been pretty clever in his boxing career by creating a promotion company that he exclusively fights under, making himself 100 million dollars a more per fight he promotes, whether he is even in the fight or not, allowing him the life of ridiculous luxury he deserves….for being better than you…where he buys his kid gold plated toy cars and he films himself watching Vegas strippers twerk for his instagram, just so people know where his time is going when he’s not training…or making 100s of millions of dollars…and the whole thing is pretty alright by me. Approval I doubt he’s seeking.

Posted in:Mayweather