DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2014

01

Oct

Kylie Jenner for Instagram of the Day

Kylie Jenner is a 12 year old Kardashian…and she’s doing pretty much what they are taught at birth to do – sluttin’ makes us money….you know in a “you like that range rover you got for your 15th birthday bitch, get naked”….

Mommy knows this shit best, she’s been doing it for 100 years and it fucking worked…

I would like to say that everything about this family must die…but this teen body…that’s it.

Don’t worry, by 20, she’ll be fat and addicted to pills – so take this in…the baby of the family is the one who is going to be the most affected

Posted in:Kylie Jenner

2014

01

Oct

Selena Gomez Cropped Out Titties of the Day

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Selena Gomez was rumored to have fake tits for Bieber….but for some reason on her instagram – she’s’ cropping out the tits – making me wonder why she even got the tits…it’s like if you invest 10k into something – you show it off – but maybe when 10k is like nothing to you – you’re less like a stripper who’s been saving for tits for years – and more subtle about it, trying to not draw attention to it – who knows…

But I guess – when the paparazzi is there – you’re better off being subtle about shit because those Princess Diana Killing motherfuckers – will capture the tits for you and it all seems way less gratuitous..

I get what she did here…clever little troll.

TO SEE HER CLEAVAGE IN FULL – CLICK HERE

Posted in:Selena Gomez

2014

01

Oct

Winona Ryder “Alleged” Tit Pic of the Day

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This one is laughable.

I mean Winona Ryder barely exists and probably is too old to really understand technology or take selfies, but I guess grandma’s everywhere are taking vagina pics now…I wouldn’t know, women die at 30 for me….but it’s not a complicated process….

This is so pixelated and distorted…and really could be anyone – but when I am emailed a tit and told it’s an actor from yesteryear, one of the American Classics, I mean Edward Scissor hands and every single movie in the 90s…25 years ago…I have no choice but to share …not that anyone reads this site, but if you did, you’d appreciate it.

Posted in:Winona Ryder

2014

01

Oct

Kate Moss Breast Cancer Awareness Pic of the Day

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Here’s a philosophical question – if Kate Moss pulls out her tit for a Breast Cancer campaign – where her nipple gets edited out and replaced with a breast cancer ribbon – does it make a sound…

The answer is yes….yes it makes a fucking sound…the sound of my penis exploding because Kate Moss is amazing and her nipples are all over the fucking place and I don’t need nipples to get excited in pics of her because nipples are everywhere, breast cancer ribbons are the new nipples…Truth.

Posted in:Kate Moss

2014

01

Oct

Kelly Brook’s Seatbelt Hustle of the Day

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Kelly Brook’s seatbelt tho…

You probably don’t know who this is, but she’s a UK Titty model and she is on the big titty prowl to get the paparazzi to remember she exists while in LA before she turns 40.

The whole thing is much more interesting when she’s starved herself for a week or two before her titty modelling gigs that make her low known…for her tits which when you have tits like this – I guess should be celebrated…and I guess they are – because I am writing about this…and shouldn’t be…I mean these are just tis.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Kelly Brook

2014

01

Oct

Nicole Meyer for TREATS! of the Day

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Nicole Meyer is some model who is naked on the beach for TREATS! Magazine …

She has the face of a girl calling favors on an old friend who ended up coming up with a pretty successful and popular magazine…in a “Hey Steve, remember that favor you owe me from when I posed naked for you back in our 20s”…but maybe it’s just the angle…

And I’m not complaining, because Treats! consistently brings naked babes, seduces naked babes to shoot naked, and that is good for the naked girl economy…

Posted in:Nicole Meyer

2014

01

Oct

Beyonce in her Underwear of the Day

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Beyonce is in her underwear…but not in stolen pictures, I guess no one cares about seeing her get fucked by Jay Z, but I find that hard to believe, because it would be like a circus event worth a billion dollars of obnoxious.

I guess this is more of a why bother when she’s leaking the content herself in efforts to be some kind of sex symbol or interesting…despite being old and a mom.

Instead of being graceful and rich as fuck, post panty pics like a hooker trying to make it…

I feel like I’ve seen these pictures before, but also feel like I never want to see these pictures again, maybe they are old, maybe I blocked them out, maybe they are not that great, I mean they are Beyonce, it’d be hard for them to be great – even though she is pretty convinced that everything she does is great…

Posted in:Beyonce

2014

01

Oct

Rachel Bilson’s Kid Has Grown Up Fast of the Day

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Here’s a picture of Rachel Bilson and her kid….who seems pretty fucking old considering that it feels like it was just a few months ago that she was finally knocked up, reminding us all that no one gives a fuck about Rachel Bilson – her pregnancy – or really anything that involves her – because when she had the opportunity to be scandalous and amazing – she moved to Canada to live in a farm with her Star Wars boyfriend/now baby daddy/ handler…When she should have been living life and flashing her cooter – she was playing housewife and milking beavers – and not the good kind you find in the magazines – and strip clubs or VIP room, but the Canadian kind. It’s a delicacy…beaver cheese, not just for crackwhores anymore…

Either way, we can always hope for the divorce that sends her single momming into a spiral of reliving the glory days she missed.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Rachel Bilson

2014

01

Oct

Lizzy Caplan for Elle Canada of the Day

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Lizzy Caplan is from some TV show that she gets naked in.

Now she is in a magazine – where she is not getting naked.

Offensive.

If her entire purpose is being someone who gets naked for money. Her fame is actually dependent on it. All media coverage that she does should involve her naked.

Otherwise, we’re just wasting tits here…tits that are willing to be seen – at least when they are in context of her “character” on a TV show that will launch her career – but tits nevertheless.

This could be much more interesting…

Posted in:Lizzy Caplan

2014

01

Oct

Taylor Swift in Vogue of the Day

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Taylor Swift is in Vogue, which is good because normally things are in Taylor Swift.

That was a little slut shaming a girl who doesn’t embrace being a slut – because she labels all her lovers as public boyfriends – because society likes that better, even if she burns through 12 boyfriends a year…not even factoring all the rebounds she gets…we’re talking a 20 dude a year pussy right here…

Singing about love, when she’s more about the fucking….because love is more marketing…a scam maybe…but not as much as her quirky face being treated as if it was a model because she’s more famous than god…

Posted in:Taylor Swift