DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2013

01

Aug

Behati Prinsloo Got Some Juicy Jeans of the Day

Behati Prinsloo is unfortunately tainted by Adam Levine so bad that she’s willing to marry the motherfucker…

I guess that’s just what these models do in their off time, they fight with each other to see who can land the biggest earning musician…

Behati is so bad at it, that she was willing to get back with said musician, who happens to be Adam Levine, after dated 3-4 other models who are hotter than her after they broke up…

I guess hat’s what true love is all about people…we just need to use models to show us the light…the light that is getting knocked the fuck up as fast as possible and not worrying about who else he fucks as long as you’re the one legally in line for 50% of his assets or at least a decent alimony settlement even though you make a million dollars or more a year as a fucking model.

Because it’s all about winning the “which A-Lister can you marry and get impregnated by”…contest…

I find her pathetic, but she’s an immigrant and doesn’t know better, and here she is in pants for Juicy, Juicy Pants for a Juicy girl, who only gets Juicy if you have so much radio play people want you and your high pitched voice dead.

Posted in:Behati Prinsloo

2013

01

Aug

Daniela Braga for Harper’s Bazaar of the Day

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I want to have sex with Daniela Braga…she’s got less of a fashion model and more of a porn chick look, straight out of Brazil, which makes you wonder, does she have a penis, would you find her in a tranny bar, and if you did would you still do it, and the answer..is yes…yes you would…at least I would…you know a girl so hot you’d suck her dick if she had one…no homo.

Posted in:Daniela Braga

2013

01

Aug

Ronda Rousey for Some Random Men’s Magazine I’ve Never Heard of of the Day

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[pics removed by maxim]

Ronda Rousey is the lesbian, who may not actually be a lesbian, but who I saw fight a lesbian, in the first Female UFC match, that I think the lesbian was in on, just to have the chance to scissor with Ronda in public forum, so that people believed her when she told the story at the lesbian bar…which I guess makes Ronda Rousey a gay basher…like Russia.

She’s posing in some half naked men’s magazine pics, and it is semi erotic knowing that legally she’s considered a lethal weapon, all trained to kill if she needs to and shit, which would make being her submissive pretty fucking effective, even though powerhouses like this, usually like finding a dude to dom them, and powerhouses like this get off to being punched in the fucking face and locked in cages in the basement so much they made a job out of it.

She’s fit, she’s got a body, she’s a killer and I approve.

Posted in:Ronda Rousey

2013

01

Aug

Saskia De Brauw, Jessica Hart and Georgia May Jagger for LOVE Magazine of the Day

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Models Saskia De Brauw, Jessica Hart and Georgia May Jagger are in their underwear or bikini bottoms on the streets for Love magazine, because Love magazine is so edgy and intense and crazy really make revolutionary social commentary on the state of the world we live in by using models no one really gives a fuck about, except maybe Georgia May cuz she’s an heir to Mick, or Jessica Hart because she’s Gold Mining Greek Billionaire Stavros the Paris Hilton Herpes Carrier….

I don’t know what that social commentary is, but figure it’s got to do with girl with the cowboy hat on has some pretty loose skinned cellulite legs and an ass that looks like it is eating itself…even after photoshop…I guess they are telling me that skinny’s hot when it’s tight and fit and not slim fat and sloppy…

Posted in:Georgia May Jagger|Jessica Hart|Saskia de Brauw

2013

01

Aug

Justin Bieber Treats a Phone Like it was Selena Gomez of the Day

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Everyone’s favorite illuminati Canadian from Youtube turned bratty weird pants wearing pop star with an ego because let’s face it, he’s Justin Bieber and bigger than god…more importantly, unlike most child stars, he’s still around…they usually fall off after society turns on them…you know locked up with a drug addiction self destructing in a hotel room in Los Angeles…and not still on stage….on stage shoving Cell Phones down his pants and throwing it away, like he did with Selena Gomez…and his tampons…once a month…because anything dressed like this has got to have a vagina…even if said vagina is a man-pussy that Usher has frequented back when they signed their first contract…where at least one of the line items stipulated “You can’t sue me for sexual harassment or molestation”…cuz when millions of dollars are involved and a mother doesn’t really care about anything but those millions…those things can be overlooked…we call it the Disney Clause…

Posted in:Justin Bieber

2013

01

Aug

Tyra Kisses Bow Wow of the Day

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Fat Tyra decided to kiss Bow Wow on BET, that’s the NON-White Television that is primarily watched by suburban white kids Television.

Apparently, this was a “Remix” as the urban folk say, or like Tyra would say, because despite her skin color, she’s whiter than the cocaine I railed last night, only because the cocaine I do is usually cut with piss.

Meaning, 3 years ago, she kissed him on her show, because she’s a fucking pervert child molester, cradle robber, that no one wants to charge, because Bow Wow isn’t actually a child, like his name would suggest, but rather a grown ass man, making out with models on TV in the tail end of their careers…

Some of you may like this, cuz you used to jerk off to Tyra, but I have a feeling the majority of you are racist hicks, and find this offensive…

I’m posting it anyway…

Posted in:Tyra Banks

2013

01

Aug

Paloma Passos for Marie Claire Brasil of the Day

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My favorite thing about models is pretty fucking simple, they get half naked in pictures, usually for very little money, all in hopes of never having to work at Walmart, or in Paloma Passos’ case, the Brazilan version of Walmart ever again…

They want the good life, they want the A-List jobs and boyfriends, you know top clients and cock, but the only way to do that is by putting in work…and the only work people notice..is half naked…and as some fat dude in canada, watching from the internet sidelines on my soiled couch in my soiled sweatpants, that works out fine for me, because staring at pictures is far easier to fuck then real people, you don’t have to drug pictures to pull your dick out…right?

Posted in:Paloma Passos

2013

01

Aug

I Like Girl Surf Videos of the Day

1 Comment »

I’ve been trying to convince Anastasia Ashley to marry me for as long as I’ve known she’s existed and started following her on the internet…unfortunately she never answers me…but the good news is, she’s hasn’t blocked me….not even when I threatened to kidnap her and lock her in my basement feeding her very little until she became to weak to resist my love…I mean there’s very little less romantic than that level of passion to break the laws for a bitch…But I guess in this generation, Romance is dead, people just want to fuck, and Anastasia Ashley is busy not fucking me..

But the good news is, I get to watch her surf videos over and over, pretending the wave she was riding was my dick…with her pussy.

Posted in:Anastasia Ashley

2013

01

Aug

Jessie J Pantsless of the Day

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Who the fuck is Jessie J, and why am I looking at pictures she posted of herself in a fucking leotard like she matters, oh right, cuz she’s in a fucking leotard, and historically, that makes her matter…I mean any bitch who squeezes into any outfit that touches her asshole, pussy and tits at the same time, is as famous as she needs to be…which is famous enough for me to ask her to autography my face…with her pussy.

Posted in:Jessie J

2013

01

Aug

Morning Hangover Dump of the Day

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I may have failed as a Man, but I didn’t fail at following two babes, one in the shortest fucking shorts ever, as she did her nightly fitness walk…I kept right up with that shit like I was a pro athlete…and walking wasn’t the hardest thing ever…all thanks to a pair of shorts…

I am a new man, but I had to sleep 20 hours to recover from all the effort…

Here are some morning links…

Kate Hudson Booty
GO

Pick Pocket Ferret
GO

The Best NEws Bloopers of JUly
GO

The Best POV Motorcycle Videos Online
GO

33 Girls Teasing You
GO

Jojo is Leaving Her Record Label
GO

The Hottest Nude Celebs For PETA
GO

Courtney Stodden Eats a Vegan Hot Dog
GO

Obama is Doing the Tonight Show…Really?
GO

The Most Ridiculous Parking Attempt Ever
GO

This is the Hottest Tanning Babe Pic of the Year
GO

Baby Elephant Plays in the Pool
GO

So Many Babes…So Little Time To Watch Them All Masturbate on Cam for Free…
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS