I know you hate the stepNEWS because you are a pervert and don’t understand my love and obsession for local news from the anchors, the weather men, to the idiots who get feeatured….sure it isn’t tits…but sometimes it takes the no tits to appreciate tits…you know what I mean….every great idea started as an idea motherfucker..
Are New York City Police Looking For Harry Potter?
New York City police are looking for a Staten Island man with a lightning bolt tattoo on his head.
President Obama Speaks Out On Secret Service Prostitution Scandal
President Obama said that he’d be ‘angry’ if allegations involving the use of prostitutes by Secret Service agents in Columbia.
Man Arrested For Urinating on The Alamo
A drunk 21 year old was arrested after urinating on the Alamo in Texas.
Nicolette Sheridan is probably best know for being engaged to Michael Bolton, but she was smart enough to end that shit, because it does nothing good for one’s self esteem…..not that their is anything wrong with Michael Bolton, it’s just hard to take him seriously no matter how many millions he makes with his bad music that talks to horny fat middle aged women….and tickles them at their core…..cuz no one else is tickling them…except maybe their 15 cats….
But as far as I’m concerned the highlight of her career was not having kids, cuz at 48, she’s still got a hot enough body to look at in a bikini, something she would have been pissed away if she wasn’t a vain, image oriented, bottom feeding celeb bitch I wanna fuck…cuz I generally see 1 in 100 moms who are actually hot as fuck….and those 1 in 100 I see probably looked better before raping themselves to reproduce….silly choices…
I am sure there was at least one death at Coachella….I’m thinking there were probably many cases of dehydration, passing out, drug overdoses, mixing too many pills with booze, maybe even a drowning or two….and unfortunately….the victim wasn’t Paris Hilton….
She’s the fucking worst, but reminds us that Coachella is a music festival everyone pegs as being hipster, even though hipster doesn’t exist, especially not anywhere this billioniare heir shows up, no matter how hard she tries to dress the fucking part, it’s all just as mainstream as fucking McDonalds…..and all the promoters, organizers, and sponsors love how idiotic this “movement” is…cuz it makes money motherfuckers….She’s some Jersey Shore caliber identity crisis…but she’s in a tube top bikini top and I guess that’s enough reason for me to post her garbage….all while wishing she was hit by a fucking bus..
I am sure there was at least one death at Coachella….I’m thinking there were probably many cases of dehydration, passing out, drug overdoses, mixing too many pills with booze, maybe even a drowning or two….and unfortunately….the victim wasn’t Paris Hilton….
She’s the fucking worst, but reminds us that Coachella is a music festival everyone pegs as being hipster, even though hipster doesn’t exist, especially not anywhere this billioniare heir shows up, no matter how hard she tries to dress the fucking part, it’s all just as mainstream as fucking McDonalds…..and all the promoters, organizers, and sponsors love how idiotic this “movement” is…cuz it makes money motherfuckers….She’s some Jersey Shore caliber identity crisis…but she’s in a tube top bikini top and I guess that’s enough reason for me to post her garbage….all while wishing she was hit by a fucking bus..
The highlight of Leighton Meester is that she’s broke…She’s some broken home surviving, child of a drug smuggler, born in a halfway house, probably a product of a mom on trial trying to get a lighter sentence cuz she was pregnant, who has learned the criminal ways of whoring proper….staring in fetish videos…fucking the right person….and landing a mainstream gig on a mainstream show that has made her pretty much set for life….a life that only involves sucking toes and foot fetishes if she wants it to…..and not cuz she has to..
If anything her story, possibly fake, is inspiring….she was probably one handjob away from being a street whore or escort….and look at her now….a fat ass in a bikini….good enough for me.
Rihanna posted some pictures of her little tits in her bikini and from this angle she almost looks hot….you know a nice toned stomach from all her dancing around on stage….but then I see pictures of her at Coachelle performing in shorts….with an ass like this…..
And it makes me think this shit is all smoke and mirrors and shot from thr right angle….reminding me that all girls on the internet only post pics of themselves that they think are hot…so whever you see a questionable picture of them on Facebook or instagram, realize that that is probably more truth that their hot pics….if anything…their worst pic is probably them at their best….and their best pics are just the freak second the lighting, angle, pose was right….
But the good news is….since this is the internet….we can only focus on their good…..cuz we don’t know these bitches in person….and don’t have to worry about truths when jerking off…I mean other than the obvious “we’re pathetic”….you know the shit that made us realize tears are a great lube!
The other day I posted some pics of BROOKLYN DECKER IN GQ TURKEY ….well apparently…..she also snuck her way into the American GQ…..like a crafty little retard with Downs Syndrome who doesn’t actually have Downs Syndrome, her face just kinda looks like she does, and I like to point it out, since I am overly analytical of pictures I see of bitches being marketed to us as being hot, giving other bitches insecurities about not looking like they have Downs Syndrome, only to spend their nights building contraptions at home to make their head look more like a water head…..and I am all for giving girls a complex about being fat or having shitty tits….but to look more retarded is just weird….
That said, as a wife to an Athlete, she does a good job staying fit…and when she’s half naked and photoshopped, she hardly looks like the institutionalized chronic masturbating people left there by their parents who didn’t want them fucking up their lives at the home I used to change diapers at…..
Coachella happened this weekend, for those of you who don’t know shit about hipster bullshit that makes you cool, because in the grand scheme of things it really doesn’t matter whether you are cool or not, especially since being a hipster is more mainstream than Ed Hardy or any of the shit that they are against, because hipster is the new preppy bullshit….thanks to the internet….cuz now people can be more artistic, obscure, informed about issues, socially conscious, while wearing the latest skinny jeans…..you seee what I’m getting at here….Hipsters don’t exist…they are just apple and designer clothes consuming try hards….
That said, Coachella reaches all these idiots as a place they need to be to see all kinds of bands in some festival that I wouldn’t go to unless I could arrive and leave by helicopter, only to spend my nights in a 5 star hotel, where during the day I hang backstage and get drunk with bitches like Vanessa Hudgens on groupies trying to fuck bands….making them sit on my lap…..otherwise it’s dirty hipster even though hipsters don’t exist….nightmare….
So with all music festivals, people get fucked up….and these pics of Vanessa Hudgens surfaced of her sucking on her finger filled with some white powder I assume is Icing Sugar cuz she’s pudgy, but that could be anyting for YAY to MDMA to who gives a fuck she’s squatting in short skirt and I wanna fuck those thigh highs off her hairy little legs….
And based on this video of her with her boyfriend…that was probably easy to do this weekend….that horny little monkey person…..probably on MDMA….taking int he sounds of every band marketed to the “Indy” scene that’s so indy it is making people billionaires….the idiots have to flock to and endorse something….sheep pretending not to be sheep are still sheep….
Emily Ratajkowski is some bitch I head about for the first time last week….who happens to have an amazing fucking body…that could have a lot to do with her being only 19 years old….and already willing to get naked on camera….or maybe it has to do with her being 19 years old and thus having a ridiculous body…from tits…to ass…this bitch is good….and in being this good….she’s gone the distance to share it with us…unlike all the other hot 19 year olds that I haven’t seen naked…..
This is the kind of “making myself famous” shit I love…
If you’re wondering why I am taking so long to get started today – it is cuz I was sleeping – not because I was at the Urban Outfitters is the New Gap – Coachella concert with everyone else in the hipster, celeb, mainstream community….but because I was drinking with gutter sluts until 6 am discussing how their vaginas changed from the age of 14 until now….using my tongue as a laser pointer….it was more fun and rewarding than updating a blog for a bunch of unappreciative assholes….
