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2010

11

Aug

Jessica Alba Seduces a Cop with Bullshit Acting of the Day

This cop is a fucking idiot….She is an actor. I can see past that “oops, I didn’t mean to” look….she’s working him like a fucking whore that she is trying to get what she wants and he’s just smitten that his menial bullshit job giving people tickets for talking on their cellphones finally had some purpose….all cuz he pulled over a celebrity, giving him a story to tell his wife who thinks he’s a fucking failure because the only reason he moved to LA wasn’t to be a cop, it just kinda happened after his attempt at an acting career failed him.

If I was in his place, I woulda gone for the blowjob, and sure a little ticket won’t give her the fear she needs to suck you off, so I’d also have to make up some crime that looks real serious, like maybe even hit her for murder, even if the victim was her career and sex appeal and the weapon was her pregnancy….give her the death penalty, even though I guess she kinda already gave that to herself…

Either way, here’s the only acting work she gets lately….

Posted in:Jessica Alba

2010

11

Aug

stepNEWS of the Day

Today is probably the weirdest day in stepNEWS history. Sure the shit has only been going on a few months now, but seriously, this one left me feeling uncomfortable…Enjoy the insanity…..

Armless Man ‘Throws’ Out First Pitch at Tigers Game – last time I checked, throwing a ball with your feet is called kicking, and kicking is for soccer so shit should be disqualified…

Reading Woman Arrested After Holding Fetus and Baby Remains in Cooler…I prefer to keep fetus in a jar in the closet that I like to use to reflect on my parenting skills….and it’s a great party starter whether alone with a woman or with a group of people…cuz nothing says party like “Wanna see my fetus in a jar”…

MA Man Had Pea Plant Growing in Lung…this is just on another level of weird that makes a paranoid motherfucker like me think I have plants growing in my lungs cuz I always inhale my food…that’s part of being fat…Scary.

Posted in:stepNEWS

2010

11

Aug

Rihanna Tits Hanging With A Slimming Friend of the Day

Rihanna is like most girls. She calls the cops when you show her how much you love her by proving how crazy she makes you by punching her face in and choking her out, and she hangs with bitches who are fatter than her to make her look skinny and hot all while letting her tits hang out to just solidify how hot she is…and I guess it is warranted since her appeal is slowly disappearing and a life back in barbados is not an unlikely future….

But tits are tits…at least that’s what I tell myself whenever I land myself something half human looking when I am drunk enough to not really care what is grabbing my dick with her mouth….

Posted in:Rihanna

2010

11

Aug

Geri Halliwell Makes a Shitty Street Walker of the Day

Here is Ginger Spice walking the streets and everyone knows when a girl walks the streets the first thing we think of is how amazing it would be to pay them to fuck us.

Unfortunately, I like seeing used condoms hanging under her miniskirts of the hookers I watch…I mean that or seeing them doing less walking and more convulsing on the ground in some kind of bad drug overdose, screaming while the paramedics restrain them, knowing that when they get out of the hospital, they’ll be washed up which is a nice improvement from the normal piss and death smell they come with….so I’m tough to please…

Here are her titties walking her dog….

I have no idea why I put so much energy into Ginger Spice today…but I guess it’s for her fans….if she has any…

Posted in:Geri Halliwell

2010

11

Aug

Paris Hilton Pisses on Marilyn Monroe’s Grave of the Day

Paris Hilton launched some septic piss and shit filled diseased scented water in what must be the most obnoxious way ever. She dressed like Marilyn Monroe, looked more like some drag queen impersonator, her tits were pushed up and her stomach stuck out like she was pregnant and the whole thing was pretty fucking vile, almost as vile as wearing Paris Hilton’s scent, as I am sure every man who can’t wash her off in the shower after a night with her can attest to.

Above the obvious publicity stunt to get noticed, I can’t believe any one would buy anything with the Paris Hilton brand, but then again, I never understood why anyone would buy anything Paris Hilton back when she was actually popular, so now that she’s become a useless unknown, damaged and older looking pig of a woman wit the same Herpes scars, I really don’t get the shit….

I just wish the Marilyn Monroe estate sued this cunt for using her likeness. I guess this is typical, obnoxious, tacky, classless, Paris Hilton behavior…and here are the pics…

Posted in:Paris Hilton

2010

11

Aug

Queen of the Lesbians of the Day

This dropped 10 days ago and I had no idea. It was posted on Dlisted and Attu and I just totally missed it and that makes me feel sad and disconnected….

I guess I should start reading my emails and visiting othersites so this doesn’t happen again….

Here’s to being a totally irrelevant, finger on the pulse of what’s hot with a seriously delayed response.

Posted in:Queen of the Lesbians

2010

11

Aug

Dioni Tabbers Thonged Ass in Prim Magazine of the Day

This is how I keep my site relevant to advertisers. I post the smuttiest high fashion shoots I can find, because fashion gets kinda smutty, whether it is naked chicks, half naked chicks, girls in their underwear or girls sexually suggestive, I post the shit, cuz I figure if these other sites and magazines can pass it off as art, then so can I, so it won’t be long before Chanel, Rolex and BMW start advertising on here, cuz my readers must be high brow, since the content is….

Her name is Dioni Tabbers, I don’t know who she is, but I wouldn’t mind getting to know who she is while sedated in a back alley since that’s proven to be the best seduction strategy for me.

She’s in a corset and a thong and even though I prefer my bitches to not be in underwear, spread eagled and raping themselves with their fingers, unless the bitch freshly gave birth, cuz no one wants to see a vagina in it’s flappiest state….this will do. Here are the pics…

Posted in:Dioni Tabbers

2010

11

Aug

Some HBO Nudity to Start the Day of the Day

I know everyone watches these bullshit shows like Hung, Entourage and True Blood. It’s like this shit is the new Seinfeld, Cheers, or Golden Girls. It is like the cool thing to do for mainstream pieces of shit who like to sit around and feel like everyone else or at least like they can fit in with everyone else especially for useless conversations that go down around the coffee machine….It’s like if you don’t watch this shit, you aren’t an active member of society and I guess that makes me subhuman, cuz I can’t be bothered with this crap, although the creator and writer of Entourage is my facebook friend, but we didn’t need popular TV trends to tell us that….

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining that HBO proves that people are smuttier and more perverted than the Christian run networks want to believe….I like to think it is kinda opening the door for me to one day have my own TV show about poverty, hookers, teenage runaways, stepdaughter lust, a fat wife, alcoholism, celebrity harrasment and good times…unless I die of a failed liver first…or just forget my genius idea due to laziness..

So here’s Merrin Dungey’s Right Tit on Hung

Sasha Grey is a worthless cunt who I think is totally overrated and boring, despite how graphic her porn gets, she is full of shit with her “Sexual Performing Artist” goth bullshit and she was Naked on Entourage…but if you want you can just google her and see her taking black cock in her ass, meaning her naked ain’t a fuckin’ thing…Cunt.

Dania Ramirez and Sasha Grey on Entourage

Anna Paquin Ass and Tit on True Blood

Anna Paquin and her worthless bisexual body in a bikini on True Blood

Posted in:HBO

2010

11

Aug

My New Gilfriend is Singing to Me of the Day

I have a new crush and it is on this crazy fucking bitch from Youtube who I guess thinks she’s some kind of performing artist, but who I think has to be a comedian, because after spending the last 3 days watching everyone of her youtube videos on repeat, I’ve come to the conclusion that it has to be a joke, but I could be wrong…maybe that’s just what she wants me to think it is….cuz I know after polluting myself with this amazingness obsessively…I can’t really put two coherent thoughts together….I just know I want to buy her CD and I want to buy it now…she’s brainwashed me and that’s why I wrote her this email:

I am really liking your videos and wanted to know how I could book you to play my party. It is taking place in my bedroom and the stage is my face…You are talent.

With Love,

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

She hasn’t answered yet…but not enough people know this talent and even if my heart is broken by her neglect…at least she’s left me the gift of song to touch my soul and she can’t take that away from me…

Posted in:Internet Insanity

2010

10

Aug

stepLINKS of the Day

I am recovering from an all day cybersex session with some slutty mom who was into anal. Constant dirty messages about feeling my cum drip out of her and all over her pussy is enough to make the most focused man emotionally drained and confused….and alone….

So here are my stepLINKS….

Bitches Go Crazy For McNuggets: THE MOVIE!
GO

Justin Beiber Shooting a Sex Tape with Kim Kardashian
GO

Devon Aoki Is An Asian Slut And Here Are Hot Pics
GO

Because Easy Bitches Are All the Rage
GO

Karissa Shannon and Kristina Shannon Sisterly Make Out Session
GO

Jenn Sterger And The 20 Skankiest Women in Sports
GO

Victoria Silvstead in a Bikini Just Because
GO

Megan Fox Flashing Her Pubes
GO

Elisabetta Canalis is Looking Good as Always
GO

Sammi and Her Self Pics
GO

Ashley is a Sexy Cowgirl
GO

We Call This One “Dramatic Exit of the Century”s
GO

Kelly Brook in See Thru Lingerie
GO

Oiling Up Her Massive Rack
GO

Brooklyn Deck is Fine By Me
GO

The Rolling Dutchman – VIDEO
GO

Israeli Army Babes
GO

Meet Joanna Shari
GO

Kelly Brook Playboy Party In See Through Lingerie
GO

Get a Load of Maya
GO

Only Verind White of Earth, Wind and Fire Would Pull This Off
GO

Some Irina Shayk is Always Nice
GO

Cehck Out Pan Rodriguez
GO

Little Bit of Rihanna
GO

19 Year Old Hottie and the Fucking Machines
GO

Behind the Scenes With Supermodels – VIDEO
GO

Celeb Sluts Hit a Cocktail Party
GO

Some Glamour Club Sluts
GO

Pic Dump of the Day
GO

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley’s New Victoria’s Secret Lingerie Photos Are Incredible
GO

The 30 Funniest WiFi Network Names
GO

Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO

And More Victoria Silvstead
GO

And That’s Why You Don’t Let Idiots Play With Sharp Blades and Knives
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

Stacy Keibler Cleavage and Legs
GO

Welcome to Lesbian School – VIDEO
GO

50 Things to Do Before You Die
GO

Man Admits To Having Sex With Dead Body In Trunk, Denies Murder…Wait, What?
GO

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Posted in:stepLINKS