I always knew Paris liked to surround herself with ugly fat bitches like Nicole Richie before the drug induced eating disorder and Kim Kardashian before the sex tape scandal that she staged to break free from being Paris’ fashion accessory or sidekick, all to make herself look prettier and skinner by comparison.

It looks like she’s replaced those whores with some fat motherfucker who should probably be eating lettuce and water and not ice cream even if it is trendy fat free shit, if he wants to live to see 40. The picture is kinda fucking trippy and makes me think that I am watching a cartoon, when in reality I am looking at a shitty picture on my computer screen.

It reminds me of the Get Along Gang or some Fat Albert shit but it also reminds me of the time I snuck into Universal Studios and ended up on a phone the size of a car. The tour guide took a picture of me and a couple of kids I was walking around with because I thought looking like I was with the kids was a little less suspect than being alone… Either way, it made me look like a midget so maybe Paris is putting some of her hard earned sex tape money to good use by surrounding herself with oversized things to maintain her dainty look without all the effort of cocaine, starving herself and working out.

I don’t fucking know what I am talking about, I am drunk but I do know that I want some ice cream right now, but can’t keep it in the house or my wife will eat it all in one sitting. She’s bigger than the dude Paris is with, I guess the biggest joke would be if this is what her sex life has come to..digging for buried penis making every time they fuck a pirate treasure hunt and this is survivor, which it probably would be cuz once the dick is found there’s all kinds of risks like the suffocation of him getting on top or the bio hazard that is Paris’ cunt…I am stopping this right now.

Posted in:Paris Hilton|Unsorted

Paris Hilton still has an ass that she feels the world needs to see because I guess the buzz around her has died down the last couple of weeks and the best way for her to draw attention to herself is to expose herself. I don’t have anything wrong with that strategy because you gotta do what you can to get noticed and she’s just better at it than I am. If showing my limp tiny penis meant getting some fucking money, I’d do it, but no one cares enough about me because my parent’s don’t own a hotel chain and I don’t have tits. I mean I do have tits, but not the kind of tits you want to see. I only realized I was insecure about being a fat slob recently. I was walking down the street with a slice of pizza and a milkshake and realized that everyone was thinking to themselves “no wonder he’s fat”, the reason I know that, is because whenever I see a fat guy with a bag of food from a fast food joint, that’s what I think to myself. I am like a black dude who hates on other black dudes because he doesn’t realize he’s fat. I may have man tits that are bigger than Paris new tits, but less full than when she rocks a Wonderbra, but I will still laugh at fat people with the best of them. That’s just the kind of hypocrite I am. Cuddles.

Posted in:Paris Hilton|Unsorted

Paris Hilton still has an ass that she feels the world needs to see because I guess the buzz around her has died down the last couple of weeks and the best way for her to draw attention to herself is to expose herself. I don’t have anything wrong with that strategy because you gotta do what you can to get noticed and she’s just better at it than I am. If showing my limp tiny penis meant getting some fucking money, I’d do it, but no one cares enough about me because my parent’s don’t own a hotel chain and I don’t have tits. I mean I do have tits, but not the kind of tits you want to see. I only realized I was insecure about being a fat slob recently. I was walking down the street with a slice of pizza and a milkshake and realized that everyone was thinking to themselves “no wonder he’s fat”, the reason I know that, is because whenever I see a fat guy with a bag of food from a fast food joint, that’s what I think to myself. I am like a black dude who hates on other black dudes because he doesn’t realize he’s fat. I may have man tits that are bigger than Paris new tits, but less full than when she rocks a Wonderbra, but I will still laugh at fat people with the best of them. That’s just the kind of hypocrite I am. Cuddles.

Posted in:Paris Hilton|Unsorted