I think working on the site from 4 am – 8 am while wasted was a bad idea. I couldn’t fall back to sleep and now I feel like I am dying.

Today, some chick who reads the site added me to IM and she spent the whole afternoon interrogating me about who I am, what I do, what my wife thinks of the site and where I met my wife. She asked about my impotency, criminal record, prostitute mother and whether it I am in love.

She wouldn’t tell me anything about her box, about what she does sexually, about whether she takes it up the ass or masturbates. She wouldn’t draw her vagina and describe it in 10 words or less and she wouldn’t send nude pics. The only thing she admitted was that she likes squirt porn and external vaginas.

She was trying to take from me without giving back and that upsets me.

When you’re done with that – check out my links…

I have no real standards, so if you want to get linked send me an email with your link HERE

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Alyssa Milano is one of those bitches who you want to get with and you don’t even care that she is hairier than your dad. You probably would still try to get with her even if she had a dick and was your dad, but that’s just because you’re weird and take what you can get when it is offered because you never know when the next time another person will touch you again. Even the lady that works at your local drug store is scared to touch your hand when she gives you change, but you’ve never noticed that because you were too busy staring at her tits.

I guess she looks decent for a 45 year old, I haven’t seen many girls this age with such a tight body, but maybe it’s because she’s not really I girl. I have a distinct memory that she played the Tony Danza’s teenage son on Who’s the Boss, but those years were a long time ago and all a blur…

What is also a blur is whether there is a little lip slip in these pics, you be the judge, but for the record, I’m calling that it’s scrotum…

Cuddles.

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Jenny McCarthy is a useless slag, the kind of bitch you want to punch in the face, at least the kind of bitch I wanted to punch in the face when she had a sitcom and always yelled at me through my TV. I’d stare at her massive fake tits and remember a time when she knew how to tone shit down and seduce me in her playboy spreads but that fucking mouth of hers would always ruin it. Sometimes I’d put her on mute and take a strip of duct tape to try to block her out from the head up and for some reason that just broke my TV. I guess nothing’s really changed but at least she’s still got her tits.

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Jenny McCarthy is a useless slag, the kind of bitch you want to punch in the face, at least the kind of bitch I wanted to punch in the face when she had a sitcom and always yelled at me through my TV. I’d stare at her massive fake tits and remember a time when she knew how to tone shit down and seduce me in her playboy spreads but that fucking mouth of hers would always ruin it. Sometimes I’d put her on mute and take a strip of duct tape to try to block her out from the head up and for some reason that just broke my TV. I guess nothing’s really changed but at least she’s still got her tits.

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I realize my life hit an all time low when I forced myself to post these pictures of Mischa rockin’ a Jewish Outfit of the Day and trying to make it something it’s not.

She is in a pair of leggings and bending over and exposing her ugly ass, in a pair of leggings while walking her dog and hanging with my Mexican brother, who I can only assume is there to pick up her dog’s shit when it’s done, because she’s a racist…

Either way, this is a major fucking stretch for a celebrity upskirt, because her skirt really isn’t a really shirt and she’s got pants on. Her ass isn’t a real ass because it’s long and flat and has a dick.

Point of all this is to say that whenever I see a girl with her dog, I think about how lucky that dog is. Even if the girl who the dog belongs to is ugly. The reason the dog is lucky is that everyday he gets to see her box, he gets to see her change tampons and take a shit, he gets to see her fuck random men and masturbate using vegetables or whatever else bitch does that she probably doesn’t want anyone knowing about.

I remember my past life, when I was a dog, and I shat all over the place just to see my master get on all fours and clean it up. Sometimes I confuse bad trips with flashbacks from my past life as a dog and it’s likely that I was actually the one taking a shit all over the place and watching my wife clean it up, but who’s really even reading this to formulate any sort of opinion.

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I realize my life hit an all time low when I forced myself to post these pictures of Mischa rockin’ a Jewish Outfit of the Day and trying to make it something it’s not.

She is in a pair of leggings and bending over and exposing her ugly ass, in a pair of leggings while walking her dog and hanging with my Mexican brother, who I can only assume is there to pick up her dog’s shit when it’s done, because she’s a racist…

Either way, this is a major fucking stretch for a celebrity upskirt, because her skirt really isn’t a really shirt and she’s got pants on. Her ass isn’t a real ass because it’s long and flat and has a dick.

Point of all this is to say that whenever I see a girl with her dog, I think about how lucky that dog is. Even if the girl who the dog belongs to is ugly. The reason the dog is lucky is that everyday he gets to see her box, he gets to see her change tampons and take a shit, he gets to see her fuck random men and masturbate using vegetables or whatever else bitch does that she probably doesn’t want anyone knowing about.

I remember my past life, when I was a dog, and I shat all over the place just to see my master get on all fours and clean it up. Sometimes I confuse bad trips with flashbacks from my past life as a dog and it’s likely that I was actually the one taking a shit all over the place and watching my wife clean it up, but who’s really even reading this to formulate any sort of opinion.

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Nothing screams eating disorder more than when a bitch walks out of a grocery story with nothing but 2 diet cokes. I think it’s safe the say that fat Ashlee has been working on her physique and what better way to do that than to not eat. I’ve heard of lots of anorexic bitches who eat nothing but diet coke and lettuce to get by and they get fucking skinny. Diet coke has no calories. I think it’s safe to say that fat Ashlee is taking those diet tips from skinny girls. I guess she watches Dr. Phil too.

I on the other hand, wish that I could develop an eating disorder. After yesterday’s chicken wing and donut outbreak washed down with beer after beer after beer, I probably gained a solid 30 pounds. I am having trouble walking from my couch to the kitchen to get more donuts even though I know on the inside that emotionally eating myself to death is the only thing that brings comfort to my life right now. Unfortunately, my wife’s got the same problem and that’s why I had to slide 3 bricks under our bed to support her weight. Nothing a little Diet Coke and Lettuce won’t fix, just look at the younger, less molested Simpson sister.

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Here’s a little Brazilian bikini action because it’s cold where I am and I wanted to heat up the room a little with some hot pics of some hot brazilian model in some hot bikini that was probably taken somewhere hot.

Point of this post is to say I hate when people say “Let’s heat things up in here”, usually those people are strip club DJs and strip club DJs are pretty much the equivalent of dudes who sit at home all day jerking off to Internet porn, that means you. They all sound the fucking same. It’s like they go to strip club dj academy and learn the inner workings of pressing play on a CD player and introducing some bitch named Lemon Drop, like some secret society or school that only privileged greasy motherfuckers get to go when they turn 18, pierce their ear, gel their hair and unbutton their stupid shiny shirt…

Enough with my negativity, next on stage Lemon Drop with some hot Brazilian Bikini model action to heat up this winter day. Lemon Drop is available for lap dances for $10 a song, now go fuck yourself.

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I have never heard of the movie Venus. I never want to see the movie Venus. I have no idea who this bitch is. I have no interest in knowing who this bitch is. I’ve already seen her naked and my rule about women I am not married to is that once I’ve seen them naked, I am done with them. In theory the whole reason I talk to them is because I want to get them naked, so if the naked is already on the table day one, I can’t imagine a lasting friendship to ever happen. I guess with this no name actress who you can all IMDB because I am too fucking bored to, is that sometimes when drunk at 6 am after waking up in the gutter, I come home to my celebrity picture collection and have conversations with them like they were my very own Real Dolls. The reality is that they are better conversationalists than my fat wife even though they don’t talk back to me. I think it’s because my wife’s stink distracts me from everything she’s saying. Point being that in a lot of ways, I am already friends with this girl in my own way. If that didn’t make sense to you, it’s fine, you’re an idiot and I’m on a whole other level than you. Maybe one day you’ll make it here but until then, here are some shitty screencaps of some shitty whore, who doesn’t want to be my friend but still gives me all I need from her in picture. Asshole.

I gave in and checked out her name because I was curious, not because I am doing you any favors…and it’s Jodie Whittaker…

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