I don’t know why everyone gave this whore so much attention this year. Who cares if was skinny and starving herself. Who cares if her uterus is taped in place to prevent it from falling out of her twat. There are anorexic girls around the fucking world who no one pays attention to, even though they are 10 times hotter than Riche, which isn’t hard considering she looks like a dumpster.

I wonder what type of girl she is because she only dates the biggest fucking losers in the world and there has to be a reason for that. Dude from Good Charlotte got a ton of tattoos to pretend he’s a rockstar when he’s obviously a suburban piece of shit from a good home, I wouldn’t be surprised if his tat’s were temporary in the event he ever wanted to become a dentist like his dad always wanted. If they aren’t, that’s too bad, because they are fucking lame, hiring someone to paint them on him seems like something a rich loser would do…. The tanning salon near my house offers temporary tattoos and I am waiting for my big break so that I can get a temporary tattoo of a cunt on my forehead…and that cunt will be Richie’s last boyfriend, DJ AM, some twat who wanted to be a DJ so he got Technics tattooed on his arm and taught himself how to scratch….

All this to say I had something good to write about today but I completely forgot while I did that little ramble…so here are the Richie pics..I am not even going to post the pics of him doing the Karate Kid Kick and Her Laughing at it because it’s too fucking easy….

The HQ Pics can be found GO , I shoulda thought about that before taking an hour to upload all of them…fuckers…

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I don’t know a whole lot about bra’s but whatever bra Paris is wearing, it’s working….

I don’t know a whole lot about make-up, although I once told some bitch in a club that I was a make-up artist to get her to come home with me. I told her that I worked on 90210 and was in town for the weekend, it was the 90s, she was 18 and easily impressed. Unfortunately for her, I never did follow-up with the producer of the show to get her that role I promised her, but I did give her a slammin bout of genital warts, she shoulda insisted on the condom….I admit when I ran into her 10 years later and she laughed in my face it hurt as much as the pre-cervical cancer laser treatments hurt her….

Speaking of no condoms here’s some Paris Hilton action. I guess I could rip into her for looking having a face that doesn’t match her tits like she was a circus performer, but we all know that with feet like that she’s obviously a clown…unfortunately for us however, her circus performance doesn’t take place in the bedroom, that frigid scared looking girl who doesn’t know how to use a dick in her video, could have learned a lesson or two from my french 90210 slut who banged me for my lies, I remember her being one of the better experiences of my life because she wasn’t a prostitute, well at least not a real one, she was more of a girl who took opportunities, she just lost out on the deal….

Enough with these stories, I don’t feel a need to relive the past, when I can enjoy a set of Paris Hilton pics for a change…..Cuddles.

PS – She’s wearing fishnets….

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I don’t know a whole lot about bra’s but whatever bra Paris is wearing, it’s working….

I don’t know a whole lot about make-up, although I once told some bitch in a club that I was a make-up artist to get her to come home with me. I told her that I worked on 90210 and was in town for the weekend, it was the 90s, she was 18 and easily impressed. Unfortunately for her, I never did follow-up with the producer of the show to get her that role I promised her, but I did give her a slammin bout of genital warts, she shoulda insisted on the condom….I admit when I ran into her 10 years later and she laughed in my face it hurt as much as the pre-cervical cancer laser treatments hurt her….

Speaking of no condoms here’s some Paris Hilton action. I guess I could rip into her for looking having a face that doesn’t match her tits like she was a circus performer, but we all know that with feet like that she’s obviously a clown…unfortunately for us however, her circus performance doesn’t take place in the bedroom, that frigid scared looking girl who doesn’t know how to use a dick in her video, could have learned a lesson or two from my french 90210 slut who banged me for my lies, I remember her being one of the better experiences of my life because she wasn’t a prostitute, well at least not a real one, she was more of a girl who took opportunities, she just lost out on the deal….

Enough with these stories, I don’t feel a need to relive the past, when I can enjoy a set of Paris Hilton pics for a change…..Cuddles.

PS – She’s wearing fishnets….

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Here are some pictures of Mischa Barton wearing a bra and a doily…I don’t know why I know what a doily is but I don’t know what a doily is for. I just know that it is crocheted which may be even gayer than knowing what a doily is. I guess in this case this luxurious shirt-sized doily is used to cover up her useless man-tits, less of an O.C. and more of an O.A, if you know what I mean.

Speaking of gay, cross-dressing, and crochet, I was forced to watch a movie where George Costanza plays a fag with AIDs, a redundant statement, I know. But what I don’t know is what it was called, a friend of mine rented it for a dollar and made me watch it. He passed out about 5 minutes in, which made me happy because otherwise I woulda thought he was trying to give me a little AIDs of his own, and by AIDs I mean try to rape me in the ass. I never thought this friend of mine was a homo, but anyone who rents this kind of gay propaganda films is a little suspect. You can’t get much gayer than men on men kissing AIDS lesions, that is hands down gayer than bicycle shorts …

I guess this post was more of a movie review than anything..and it sucked because it isn’t funny, or interesting, but it’s 4 am and I want to sleep, I just sat through a shitty movie and I had to listen to my dirty friend snore and smell my wife’s ass from the other room. She sweats alot. Now the asshole who brought the gay movie here is asleep on the couch and that means I have to go crawl into bed with my wet stinky wife, something I’ve putting off for a few hours now….

So, here are those Barton pics…

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Here are some pictures of Mischa Barton wearing a bra and a doily…I don’t know why I know what a doily is but I don’t know what a doily is for. I just know that it is crocheted which may be even gayer than knowing what a doily is. I guess in this case this luxurious shirt-sized doily is used to cover up her useless man-tits, less of an O.C. and more of an O.A, if you know what I mean.

Speaking of gay, cross-dressing, and crochet, I was forced to watch a movie where George Costanza plays a fag with AIDs, a redundant statement, I know. But what I don’t know is what it was called, a friend of mine rented it for a dollar and made me watch it. He passed out about 5 minutes in, which made me happy because otherwise I woulda thought he was trying to give me a little AIDs of his own, and by AIDs I mean try to rape me in the ass. I never thought this friend of mine was a homo, but anyone who rents this kind of gay propaganda films is a little suspect. You can’t get much gayer than men on men kissing AIDS lesions, that is hands down gayer than bicycle shorts …

I guess this post was more of a movie review than anything..and it sucked because it isn’t funny, or interesting, but it’s 4 am and I want to sleep, I just sat through a shitty movie and I had to listen to my dirty friend snore and smell my wife’s ass from the other room. She sweats alot. Now the asshole who brought the gay movie here is asleep on the couch and that means I have to go crawl into bed with my wet stinky wife, something I’ve putting off for a few hours now….

So, here are those Barton pics…

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I read a comment posted today and it made me feel good. It made me realize that some people grasp that I write about my shitty life set to pictures of rich and glamourous people you all envy because you think their shitty lives are better than your shitty life….when in reality their lives are probably worse because they have no one to idolize because they are the idols….anyway, this is what she wrote:

Well I thought it was funny. I even giggled a little. Actually I always think you are funny. The more you sell out and and the more mundane this becomes, the funnier I find you actually. And that is not sarcasm. I really mean it. I think what you do is actually terribly relevant. You are the neo-neo-modern American “everyman� and your posts about helping your Shamu wife on and off the toilet in your shithole apartment written right under pictures of rich bitches in bikini’s in places most of us will never go because we are too busy trying to ignore the smell coming from our own spouses fat jiggling taint, or worse, reading about someone else doing that because we actually have even less than that going on speaks to the utter fucked-up-ed-ness of our whole fucking culture. And I think it’s genius. Really.

She deserves a free shirt, but I’ll never know who she is, I feel like James Blunt in the Beautiful song.

I am watching Dr Phil and this 30 year old skinny geek is dating a fat chick with a 33 year old son and it makes me happy. Another thing that would make me happy would be if I could find an advertiser, learn how to do search engine optimization and get my site unblocked from schools and offices around the world, but until that day comes…

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I wrote DJ AM a Letter.

Dear DJ AM,

I have been sitting on these pics for over a week now and I wasn’t sure if I should send them to you, because on the surface it seemed like a real asshole thing to do. I was never the kind of guy to take pics of the girl I am fucking and send them to her ex-bf, although maybe I should have been.

That said, I am not a Good Charlotte fan and I hate twins because they are like the twilight zone. Don’t feel bad that she was out kissing him on New Years Eve because she’s probably just doing it to piss you off even though she looks like she’s having the time of her life and is madly in love.

Just remember, you banged her first, you know exactly what her post heroin addict pre-Hilary Duff sloppy seconds of a pussy smelled like. She helped you launch your career and maybe she turned your sneaker fetish into a little boy fetish but it is worth the headaches. If not, you probably can get any girl you want, even if she never amounts to the perfection you thought you found in Richie.

Point being that all things come to an end and at least now when you roll around with 12 year old lookin’ slags or 12 year old boys or fat chicks to take you a far away from Richie as you can because it hurts when you think about your time together, you’ll be doing it in an expensive car, with expensive pants on while your expensive hair flows in the wind, all the way back to your expensive home and your expensive bedroom set. You dog, you.

I know you’ll show her.

I’d like to wish you a happy new year, and to many more nights without that smell in your bed.

Attached you’ll find the pics I was referencing.

With Love,

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

PS – I am just a fat guy trying to get attention. Feel free to forward this to all your friends. Cuddles.

and on the beach….

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I just got back from a shitty Karaoke bar. There were about 20 people up in the place. One inter-racial couple that were making out so hard that I thought I was in a porno for ugly people. The little Asian girl was actually riding the dude in the place while their friends butchered song after song. The highlight of the night was when three fat chicks sitting in the corner were picked up by 3 drunken punks drinking bud light. One of the girls got up on stage with her mom jeans and $25 practical shoes while singing a No Doubt song and keeping her rhythm by tapping on her hips and dancing like a fool. Then the dude who was pickin’ her up got up and dedicated a song to the hip tapper, that song was rent, probably a bad move considering showtunes are gayer than bicycle shorts and Rent is all about AIDs. Probably not the best first date topic, unless your first date is with a guy you met at the gay bath house. He killed that song like he gave it AIDs and like he was Justin Timberlake, but this karaoke bar is probably the closest thing he’ll ever have to being famous.

Speaking of Karaoke and being almost famous, here are the Ashlee Simpson Bikini Pics for you to look at while I practice for next week.

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I got an email from someone who bought a stepSHIRT 42 days ago and I hadn’t delivered yet. I’d like to say that whoever ordered a stepSHIRT will be getting them within the week. I’ve mailed them all off and it will change your life. The shirt I sent may not be the one you ordered, but it’s a fuck of a lot cooler and a fuck of a lot more of anything is better than just more than something if you get what I mean.

Sometimes I make no sense, sometimes I do, I went to a bar and remembered all the fun I used to have. I think it’s time to find the fun again. I’m talking Karaoke performances, fucking with bouncers and bar maids and patrons, having a good laugh and going home not caring who I pissed off or what I said…finding that inner rockstar isn’t always easy but it can be done, just like the girls I saw tonight….

In the meantime, here are some stepLINKS for you to love….

A Video Called Strictly Wheelchair…
GO

Bastardly Minute with Holly Weber
GO

Watch These Two Girls and Their Neat Trick
GO

A Little Katherine McPhee Picture Action – Not Fat No Mo’
GO

A list of girls Justin Timberlake Should Hook Up With Next
GO

Jocks are Fucking Idiots
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart…
GO

Some Topless Olympian on the Slopes – Weird
GO

Some Dirty Girl Named Francesca Video
GO

Crackwhores Gone Wild… NSFW and Fucking Depressing…
GO

Boobs are Never Idiots…
GO

Kate Beckinsale Sex Scene
GO

Ms Marie the Urban Pin-Up
GO

I love Lynyrd Skynyrd and this Hoodie is $10
GO

I assume you know girls and if you do buy them this…
GO

Christina Aguilera Upskirt Prevention
GO

Corset Fetish Pics…
GO

Vanessa Minnillo Pokies
GO

Dude Fucks a Pizza…Probably a Good Idea for Some of You….
GO

Kissing Girls
GO

Listen To This Orgasm it’s Fucking Funny
GO

Some Big Real TIts from the Bang Bus
GO

Buy me a country you bastards…
GO

Sarah Morrison Doesn’t Know Why….but I know and it’s cuz she’s a whore.
GO

Who is Cory Kennedy and Why Do I hate Her
GO

Paris Hilton Hotels are Getting Sued Cuz They Have Crabs…
GO

Here’s a little Arab for You
GO

Smelling Right Gets You Something TIght..That’s a Poem…
GO

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