I saw these pictures a few weeks ago, but the version I saw actually had this slag’s nipple in the pics. I have no idea where they were posted and I am too lazy to go look, but if I actually cared about you, I’d totally put them up here. This bitch is some Miss UK winner or some shit and has done some minor magazine work and some d-list TV work, like Fear Factor. I am guessing she’s trying to become a household name over here. I am also guessing that watching a bikini-clad slut on rollerblades is always hot (if you’re living in 1992 and on the set of 90210). Point of the story is that rollerblades are the gayest fucking invention the 90’s had to offer and I am not just saying that to sound like a hardcore skater(boy). It is clear that this UK slag was a little confused about what beach living was actually like, it looks like she picked up an old calendar she found at her mechanic’s garage and tried to live out the beach lifestyle those pictures portrayed. I don’t know if that made sense, but these pics remind me of a poster I had in my first apartment of some bitch rollerblading in a thong. I think it said something like “Wild Ride” or someshit. Does that make more sense than my calendar story? Good.

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Cisco Adler is an opportunist and I respect that, because I have never accomplished anything in my life. His strategy to become a famous artist is a lot like DJ AM’s. Date a celebrity and get in every fucking paparazzi pic of her automatically become a household name. Ideally, this will result in a lot of album sales. Album sales means rock shows and tours and then your long hair will serve a real purpose, instead of just looking like a cunt try-hard , you’ll be a fuckin rockstar, and when you’re a rockstar people don’t question your retarded way of dressing.

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I was just watching America’s Got Talent and this lame motherfucker just danced around the stage dropping magic tricks. He said he merged Usher with Copperfield and it was fuckin’ gay. Even David Hasselhoff thought dude was a cunt, and when a cunt like Hasselhoff gives thinks you are a cunt. you know gotta live with that shit for life. because there’s no way to blow a dis like that off. I know dude will run home and be like “what does Hasselhoff know, he’s the cunt”, but he’s when the cunt calls you a cunt, you become the asshole. Either way, Dani Minogue, the younger sluttier sister of Kylie was involved in some kind of lap dance scandal a while ago. These are the pictures. They are old.

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People think what I write is miserable, because I focus on pretty negative things. I feel bad about that. I think I should start looking at the brighter side of life. I am thinking it’s time for me to make obvious one-liners, because that’s really what people want to read. Stories of hookers, misery and depression are not funny. But like I always say, if you can’t laugh at the depressing part of life, then it’s just depressing. Once it becomes a joke it becomes comedy. So retards, stds, suicide, drug overdose, disease, poverty, addiction, impotency and anything else I write about is just to make you smile. If all else fails I post pictures of girls in bikinis to distract you from the misery. So stop complaining and start enjoying. Cuddles.

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I like it cuz there are tits on it. It is just that simple.

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This bitch was Miss Peurto Rico and now, she is Miss Universe. It’s just more proof that mainstream media like to steal all the local talent from the little island. It’s like they find a hot hispanic chick, kidnap her, and introduce her to the american market. Her obese mother is back home making tortillas for the village wondering where her daughter is. When she finds out, she will be really happy, because it will mean a life in AMERICA. Remember that bitch Selena, this is the same story but without the singing.

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I am out of town now, but my site is posting links that I found on Wednesday Night. I am pertty proud of myself for figuring out this WordPress Shit….Either way, I made a “casting” call for people to write for the site. I have only got one submission from DRUNKBOY- let me know what you think in the comments and go fuck yourself. Cuddles.

George Michael is Still Gay

Remember George Michael? You know the guy who was in Wham!? Remember how you thought he was a good looking dude and hitting every fucking hot model with perky tits and a great ass? Too bad he was gay and looking to bang dudes that look like your father after he drinks a twelve pack of Busch and mows the lawn. Yeah, that’s the guy.

Well…

Bad news for gay dudes looking for random sex in London. George Michael is off the market and getting married. Apparently the Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go singer has had his fill of random man ass in public restrooms or at least that’s what he is saying to his special man friend, Kenny Gross. He bought his lover a 1 million pound gift on their 10 year anniversary to make up for all the alleged cruising he has been doing. I think I know what the pound is and I don’t like it.

I would like to say I don’t even know how this is a news story. I wish George stayed in the closet longer with Lance Bass and Justin Timberlake…Whoops. One of them isn’t out yet! Shhhh! Anyway,I wish them nothing but the best and for the end of stories that involve George Michael and any kind of public sex with men. Thank you.

I used to be jealous of dogs because they got to sleep all day, people take care of them and are too stupid to hate life. The more exciting part about being a dog is that they get to watch their masters change, have sex, shower, take a shit, masturbate and do all the embarassing thing people do. They also get away with sniffing random pussy when out in public, and I am not talking about dog pussy, I am talking about women on the rag pussy. Either way, I know I have written posts on this many times before and I am only writing about it again because it is really one of the constant dreams I have and has been going on for as long as I can remember. That said, I would hate to be Hilary Duff’s dog for all the above mentioned reasons. I have no interest in knowing whether her dick was the reason Lance Bass is a faggot today. That’s the end of this post. Thank god.

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