I thought cigarettes were supposed to repress your appetite. Bitch is too thick in the pants to be a real smoker, and if she is a real smoker – she may want to consider increasing the intake. I am sitting on a patio outside a Starbucks next to an American Apparel in Montreal, Elisha Cuthbert’s hometown. She aint got shit on the quality 16-22 year old pussy that is walking by me. It a good thing she’s in L.A. trying to launch a career and not here polluting my fucking view. The guys at the table next to me are talking about some dream girl that he refuses to fool around with and wants to date. I guess he deosn’t realize that he has acne and will probably never get laid by anything, let alone his dream girls. Some really weird – scarry looking motherfucker just sat next to me, he’s skinnier than HIV and he’s rolling his own cigarette. Can you get AIDs, but sitting next to a freakshow at a starbucks. Point of the story is that I would rather fuck him that Cuthbert in these pics….that’s the story I heard.

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I thought cigarettes were supposed to repress your appetite. Bitch is too thick in the pants to be a real smoker, and if she is a real smoker – she may want to consider increasing the intake. I am sitting on a patio outside a Starbucks next to an American Apparel in Montreal, Elisha Cuthbert’s hometown. She aint got shit on the quality 16-22 year old pussy that is walking by me. It a good thing she’s in L.A. trying to launch a career and not here polluting my fucking view. The guys at the table next to me are talking about some dream girl that he refuses to fool around with and wants to date. I guess he deosn’t realize that he has acne and will probably never get laid by anything, let alone his dream girls. Some really weird – scarry looking motherfucker just sat next to me, he’s skinnier than HIV and he’s rolling his own cigarette. Can you get AIDs, but sitting next to a freakshow at a starbucks. Point of the story is that I would rather fuck him that Cuthbert in these pics….that’s the story I heard.

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This is like the time my friend Pavlos decided to get Laser Eye Surgery. The government offered to pay for him because it had something to do with the welfare program he was on. It was supposed to make him more hireable. He was scared of the concept, being a poor immigrant from Romania, he had no idea what Lasik was. He agreed to get it done, but the place gave him the option of doing one eye at a time, to see how it works and how it heals, and if the surgery is botched you’ll alwyas have one eye and all that shit. Victoria Beckham did the same thing, but the Tit version. I guess she wanted to test out cleavage to make sure these were the size for her or some shit. That’s the story I heard.

Bonus:

Taking Animal Print Fashion Advice from Beckham’s Tit, Brooke Hogan Keeps the State of Florida Proud by Remaining a Piece of White Stripper-lookin’ Trash…

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This is like the time my friend Pavlos decided to get Laser Eye Surgery. The government offered to pay for him because it had something to do with the welfare program he was on. It was supposed to make him more hireable. He was scared of the concept, being a poor immigrant from Romania, he had no idea what Lasik was. He agreed to get it done, but the place gave him the option of doing one eye at a time, to see how it works and how it heals, and if the surgery is botched you’ll alwyas have one eye and all that shit. Victoria Beckham did the same thing, but the Tit version. I guess she wanted to test out cleavage to make sure these were the size for her or some shit. That’s the story I heard.

Bonus:

Taking Animal Print Fashion Advice from Beckham’s Tit, Brooke Hogan Keeps the State of Florida Proud by Remaining a Piece of White Stripper-lookin’ Trash…

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I like to think I am the reason they broke up. Not because I contributed to their break-up in anyway, but because I like seeing other people’s misery and like thinking I am the cause. It makes me feel better about myself.

So, this past weekend, a SAD DJ AM played at a club called Passion. A devastated Nicole ran off with a bunch of short mexican/asian lookin’ women for a little getaway. Lucky for us, we’ve got these pics showing just how sad she really is.

Point of the story is that girls move on quicker after breaking up. Dude’s freak out lookin’ for new pussy, missing the old pussy, their lives all upside down, their routine destroyed…while girls are happy about the change…start banging many new dudes…while smiling in airports.

And if you can’t afford the 5 dollar cover charge, or if you are too homeless/ghetto/obese for the club to let you in (like me), put your iTunes on random and look at these pics fast. It’ll feel like you’re in the heart of a DJ AM party. Make sure you’ve got some Will Smith – Wild Wild West, he likes that one.

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I like to think I am the reason they broke up. Not because I contributed to their break-up in anyway, but because I like seeing other people’s misery and like thinking I am the cause. It makes me feel better about myself.

So, this past weekend, a SAD DJ AM played at a club called Passion. A devastated Nicole ran off with a bunch of short mexican/asian lookin’ women for a little getaway. Lucky for us, we’ve got these pics showing just how sad she really is.

Point of the story is that girls move on quicker after breaking up. Dude’s freak out lookin’ for new pussy, missing the old pussy, their lives all upside down, their routine destroyed…while girls are happy about the change…start banging many new dudes…while smiling in airports.

And if you can’t afford the 5 dollar cover charge, or if you are too homeless/ghetto/obese for the club to let you in (like me), put your iTunes on random and look at these pics fast. It’ll feel like you’re in the heart of a DJ AM party. Make sure you’ve got some Will Smith – Wild Wild West, he likes that one.

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Someone sent these in and I have no idea if they are of Pink. She looks like every other manly bull-dyke of a rock and roll bitch. You know short black hair, piercings, little tits. I am not saying that Pink is a lesbian or a rock bitch, but that’s sure as hell what her stylist is trying to portray. I guess it gets the part of the market that the other pop stars weren’t hitting. You know the girls too cool to like Britney and X-Tina back in the day. They’d be all like “X-tina and Britney are lame, Pink’s where it’s at.” I’d have to agree, only by Pink, I mean VAGINA.

Bonus: Pink Looking Retarded

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Someone sent these in and I have no idea if they are of Pink. She looks like every other manly bull-dyke of a rock and roll bitch. You know short black hair, piercings, little tits. I am not saying that Pink is a lesbian or a rock bitch, but that’s sure as hell what her stylist is trying to portray. I guess it gets the part of the market that the other pop stars weren’t hitting. You know the girls too cool to like Britney and X-Tina back in the day. They’d be all like “X-tina and Britney are lame, Pink’s where it’s at.” I’d have to agree, only by Pink, I mean VAGINA.

Bonus: Pink Looking Retarded

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