coming….

goin’…

I don’t know how I feel about naked 50 year old bitches, even if they look good for 50, they are still 50. Do you realize how many yeast infections, pairs of underwear, cocks, mouths that pussy has seen?? I can only assume that it’s more than someone who is 30, at least that’s my theory, and my theories don’t need to make sense, because I am writing this and you aren’t.

Start your own blog asshole. Apparantly, my telling my readers to fuck off is getting boring a repetitive, I only say it cuz I mean it. I know expressing yourself can get boring fast, that’s why I don’t let people talk to me about their feelings… so if I bore you, leave because I got bigger issues to deal with with, like Sharon Stone showing up at Letterman last night, with her jacket inside out, but leaves with it done up right. I am guessing she’s protecting herself from the Fur Hater people, who are fucking annoying hippy assholes. I don’t wear fur, but I still hate them, and anyone else who’s trying to fight a useless cause. Chinchillas are happier being an expensive coat that useless rat-like animal that does nothing. Let people like Sharon Stone and her dried up pussy show up somewhere without having to wear a $5,000 jacket inside out….because this bitch could own your NYU ass…

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I used to do a feature called Sexual Restraint of the Day, it was never very popular, and I don’t think they ever got a single comment on them, so doing one today just felt right. I can relate to the underdog. I don’t have any fetishes because I am too busy sitting on my couch to think about things that turn me on, but if I wasn’t a fat lazy impotent piece of shit, I would be down with Medical Restraints. It’s for the EMS worker in all of us, you know first to the scene of the accident kind of thing…wipe off the blood and get to work kind of thing, strap a bitch down rip off her shirt and give her CPR kind of thing, stick it inside her on the way to the hospital cuz there’s just enough time to get off kind of thing. There is nothing really wrong with doing that, you saved her life, if it wasn’t for you she’d be dead, so you kind of own her and let’s face it, she can’t really say no anyway.

My suggestion for you is to introduce this shit on your first date, the bitch won’t think you’re strange, and if she asks you to drive her home, immediately, you know what to do, (slam your car into a tree) and remember you can always get a new car…and you have the perfect opportunity to use the brace. I think you were a perfect gentleman, you gave her to the option to participate in your game voluntarily, it’s her fault for not cooperating.

Wow, this post should make everyone think I am a sexual predator, it’s funny how easy that was to do.

Cervical Collar and Spine Immobilizer

This is a medical head and spinal immobilizer system. It comes with a large 4 1/4 inch high Cervical Collar and a spine immobilizer unit that is designed to fit with the cervical collar. No cervical collar alone provides sufficient immobilization. The body immobilizer applies support for the cervical spine. Velcro wrist restraints are provided to keep hands restrained at chest area. This is a very restrictive, impressive device. Comes complete with instruction manual.

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Kate Moss is hot. I got no issues with her doing cocaine, she’s a fucking model, what the hell else is she supposed to do to stay entertained. She has all kinds of money, works minimally, looks good, let the bitch have her vice or two of choice. I do have issues with hipsters, strippers and rich kids doing coke, and I will explain. Hipsters are poor, they look homeless, they like to be seen at the hip spots, and go home for the Cocaine After Party, or frequent the bathroom all night as a group, to rip lines or keys, and it’s a fucking cliche. I hate cliches. If you are a hipster, you should be doing prescription pills, and not telling any of your friends, because you will get way more fucked up then them, and it won’t be advertised on a billboard, no one will expect it, and you will be the coolest hipster at the fucking party, even when you can’t formulate a sentence, you eyes glaze over and you start convulsing…they are presciptions, clinically tested, it’s not like you can overdose. As for strippers, same shit, they are supposed to do coke, so when you meet a stripper who does coke, it’s just boring and typical. I believe strippers should do meth, because they are trashy, disgusting in daylight, and get naked for money, so need the energy. I am sure there are plenty of strippers on Meth, but I just want it to be the industry standard drug. As for Rich Kids, they are just crying for attention, because they were raised by the nanny and given a credit card at the age of 15. I feel sad for people who create problems because they are spoiled, it’s like an adult version of a hissy fit. Rich kids should go to school, get good jobs and keep society working……

Anyway, enough of that shit…I love Kate moss, and I love the paparazzi she’s tripping over.

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Steve sent this to me, asked me to post it. I can only assume he’s got a thing for grey haired dudes playing with balls, it probably has something to do with a lack of attention he got in elementary school from the gym teacher. All the other boys were invited to the after class shower, and poor steve was left out. Ever since then….he’s never looked at a grey haired man who plays with balls quite the same….anyway, it’s a cool juggling routine, I guess, if juggling is your thing and you are into sychronized choreographed juggling dance routines. I think the real joke behind this post is that the guy juggling is a comedian and we all know he either learned how to juggle to make money on busking the street or in the subway stations to be able to afford the luxuries in life like a can of tomato soup and saltines on his road to stardom, if stardom to you means a perfomance on Jay Leno….or he learned how to juggle because he’s a comedian and they have a lot of spare time, you know contributing nothing to society takes little effort. I just watched the clip. I have enough trouble walking up my stairs without passing out, I don’t understand how this motherfucker’s doing this.

I have put way too much effort into this juggling post…thanks Steve, you prick, no one cares about juggling…

Watch Man Juggle Balls Here

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They were all over each other all of last year, and it got boring fast. No one wants to watch people that are so in love with each other that they need to kiss on the lips and hug 1000 times a day. It makes you look like your parents never breast fed you or loved you when you were growing up you skinny slag. It makes you look like you need constant approval and like you are nothing more than an insecure slag. I wouldn’t normally call somone a slag, that’s not my style, but I feel for AM…the rest his life he’s gonna be forced to fuck the pussy that Steve O was inside. Now, I got nothing against Steve 0, he’s insane and does funny things, but if real celebrities don’t use condoms, and Steve O’s has obviously had some nasty “on the road pussy”. I feel like I can relate to AM’s situation, not because my girl cheated on me, people die cuz of that shit but there was this one chick….

This was YEARS AGO, I’m talking ’92 or someshit. So, I’m dating this girl and she’s not letting me in her pants, it was before I hit rock bottom and had a little respect. So I wined her and dined her a bit. She was hot, smart, going places, pretty much the hottest and cleanest white pussy I ever tasted, at least that’s what I thought. The night we were supposed to finally slam, the bitch drops a bomb that she’s only fucked 3 people in her life, which is fine with me, I don’t give a fuck at this point in time if this bitch had been with 200 dudes at once, 2 hours earlier, and hadn’t had a chance to shower, I’d still go down on her for an hour….anyway she finishes her story by telling me all 3 of the guys were black, and that I’d be her first non-black lover. So I did what any self respecting person would do, I got the fuck out of there as fast as I could, pulled a whack in my car and never spoke to the bitch again. It’s got nothing to do with being racist, this was 1992, 13 years before Grey’s Anatomy.

Good Story….

Check out Nicole’s Seventeen Magazine Photoshoot Here

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Box was launched a while ago. I am sure I have the post on it somewhere in my archives, but I am a bad blogger, and I don’t believe I should go through you with my previous garbage…it’s been done, get over it. Anyway it’s some sex, art, photography, pdf/internet based magazine, designed to open our minds up to sex or some other bullshit crafted by 2 fags a dyke and some bi-sexual, that part is actually a lie. I have no idea who started this up, but I do get annoyed when people take sex too seriously and treat it like an actual news topic. Get over yourself, no one cares.

I don’t read the articles, but I am sure they are entertaining enough. These pics are ripped off from their fetish dictionary, the photo version….I would go on about my fetishes, but I am sure you’re bored of my banter….Don’t worry, I hate you too.

Check Out Box-Mag Here (the rest of the fetish pics can be found there, since that’s where they were ripped off from, but they can’t complain, because I am promoting them, you’re welcome)

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I don’t watch American Top Model, because I hated the Fresh Prince of Bel Air and I can’t look at that bitch Tyra Banks without thinking about that show and how obnoxious and white it was….. I wouldn’t watch German top model, because I don’t support bitches who marry for mangled up black people who look like they are straight off the genocide fields in Sierra Leone….I guess the reality is that I wouldn’t watch either show because I don’t own a TV, but let me pretend it’s my choice.

These are the backsides of the German Top Model contestants….topless…in a row….Sluts.

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I am all for old people slamming younger people. When I was in my 20s, I would always hit up a hotel bar or any place older bitches frequented. The reason is simple, women have a biological clock….a certain amount of time to get knocked up, and the closer they get to the expiration date on their milk bags, the hornier and sluttier they get. These bitches get into a panic that they won’t find a man, but they don’t recognize that it is their body telling them to make babies, because they are career women, and the result was older ladies owning me in the bedroom….They just had so much to give….This is the same thing, only it’s older perverted men and immigrant bitches who don’t even look that young because I am blinded by how disgusting they are. This is porn, so don’t click the links if you don’t like porn. I am not a porn site. I just post things I think are funny. That’s my story.

Visit The Galleries Here – NSFW – And Disgusting:

Fat Dude and Orane Head
Old Man and Paddlefoot (actually I think that’s a dot not a feather)
Fat Dude and Some Immigrant (trying to make money to feed her 12 babies)

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I am not a fashion consultant or a stylist, but I came across this old picture of Britney, and her shirt threw me off a little. Bitch is rockin’ a lacey turtleneck, t-shirt and its fuckin with me, cuz turtlenecks are for skiing, or being a pompous poofter in the cigar lounge discussing your latest screenplay…Britney’s post pregnancy/breatfeeding nipples are aiming in the wrong direction…….with all the money in the world, least she could do is go under the knife. I don’t advocate plastic surgery, even on ugly bitches, but if you’re gonna be chased around by paparazzi for the world to see, you best maintain. Yeah, this has pretty much been a waste of a post….actually this whole year has been a waste….thanks for listening.

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I am not a fashion consultant or a stylist, but I came across this old picture of Britney, and her shirt threw me off a little. Bitch is rockin’ a lacey turtleneck, t-shirt and its fuckin with me, cuz turtlenecks are for skiing, or being a pompous poofter in the cigar lounge discussing your latest screenplay…Britney’s post pregnancy/breatfeeding nipples are aiming in the wrong direction…….with all the money in the world, least she could do is go under the knife. I don’t advocate plastic surgery, even on ugly bitches, but if you’re gonna be chased around by paparazzi for the world to see, you best maintain. Yeah, this has pretty much been a waste of a post….actually this whole year has been a waste….thanks for listening.

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