I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2006

09

Mar

I am – Teri Hatcher: Post Molestation Pic of the Day

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Teri Hatcher hangs out in a yellow dress in honor of her uncle who molested her when she was a kid; he loved yellow. She is seen with a fat bitch who was also molested when she was a child, but unlike Teri, took to food to try to emotionally eat the pain away. Why would someone steal a little girl’s innocence?? Is probably one of the questions they are asking themselves, and the answer is simple. They were probably sucking on popsicles, running around in Smurf jumpsuits, and sitting on Uncle’s lap….what the fuck else do you expect him to do….if only you were that easy now… I guess this lack of sympathy towards molested kids isn’t gonna go over well and I truly feel very emotional about having written about it. I am a bad fucking person…now come here and sit on Stepdaddy’s lap, you little whores.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

09

Mar

I am – Tit Infection of the Day

This is the reason people hate me. I post pictures of things that may not be considered sexy. Well I don’t give a fuck. This girl sent me in pics of her tits. She has an infected nipple because she got a piercing, trying to be cool like you. Now her great rack my go to shit when the doctors realize the only way to deal with this is by amputating. I don’t know where the joke is in this post, I guess it’s all in the nipple, but realize I don’t find this hot at all. I find this fucking gross…but posted it anyway because it is all in the name of science. It is the same reason I never got this rash treated, I want to see where it ends up…..

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2006

09

Mar

I am – Christina Aguilera Drunk

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There’s something about drunk women that drives me fuckin’ insane, and I am not even talking about their puking all over the place or emotional outbursts where they start kicking and crying and smacking me up with their purses. I am talking about how easy a bitch gets when she’s got a little booze in her. I have 2 strategies to get a girl wasted, so that you can have your way with her, one is that you work out a deal with a waitreass to make your girl doubles, and give you singles or virgins, just to retain the upper hand. People will call me criminal or a rapist for using that move but they haven’t even heard the second strategy I use, but I am wasted now and can’t remember it….I think it involves anus though, female anus. Yes, I felt the need to clarify. Either way, Aguilera’s husband looks like that jew motherfucker in your elementary school who never let you play with his expensive jew toys, now he’s doing the same thing, but with a girl we all wanna fuck…I hate him.

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2006

09

Mar

I am – Throwback DJ Am Interview of the Day

I did this interview a year a 3 months ago, before AM was engaged to Richie, before she left him for Steve-O, before they got back together, before I was confident enough in my site to really rip a motherfucker apart. For the record AM was always cool with me, and asked me to take it off the site when they first got engaged, so I did. I saved it in case I decided to cry for attention. This be me crying for attention.

Bam, Here is AM

INTERVIEW ORIGINALLY REMOVED AT THE REQUEST OF LIONEL RICHIE

INTERVIEW REPOSTED BY JESUS TO SEE IF WE GET SUED

Stepfather: So what’s the deal with DJs, why does every girl want a piece of the DJ?

DJ AM: DJs rule… Every girl wants to bone us cause we are the center of attention… And that’s what every girl wants to be.

Stepfather: You used to be fat, I am fat, is life really that much better being thin? Do girls appreciate a fat man, or is your life that much better now that you aren’t fat?

DJ AM: I hated being fat. I miss knocking back a rack of ribs and bakers dozen of Krispie Kremes for a snack but I like being thin for once…

Stepfather: Rumor is that when you lose a lot of weight, your penis gets bigger, is that true?

DJ AM: Yes, my penis has gotten bigger.

Stepfather: I am a fat man and I am scared to sleep with fat women for 2 main reasons, first because fat is disgusting and second because fat gets in the way of sex and I am scared I won’t be able to penetrate fully, how do you feel about sex with fat chicks?

DJ AM: I have a friend who is skinny and he only fucks fat girls. I think he likes the padding and feeling like hes doing some kinky shit. Thing is, your right. If the chick is THAT fat you can’t dig it all the way in cause there are rolls blocking you.

Stepfather: When it comes to sex, what’s the craziest thing you have done, what do you brad to your boys about?

DJ AM: I used to slap the shit out of this one girl who LOVED to be smacked in the face. I’m not much of a bragger anymore though. I grew old and just like it normal.

Stepfather: How much drugs funnel through the clubs you play at, because I once hung out with a stripper, we were sitting next to each other on the bus and she was telling me that clubs have so many drugs…I once did an 8-ball of crystal in a trailer park in Dallas, that’s actually where my blog started. How do you feel about drugs and what is your drug of choice.

DJ AM: Drugs RULE! I used to be a crack head for about 2 years. Nothing is more fun then being so wasted you throw up on yourself at 9:45am on your way to downtown LA to buy crack rocks from the mouth of a 12 year old Mexican kid. Drugs are all over the clubs I DJ. I just like sitting back and watching people learn the hard way.

Stepfather: Would you sleep with your stepdaughter/stepsister if she was really hot? If you said no, would you rethink it if you only met her when she was legal or if she was only in your life for a couple of years?

DJ AM: I would not bone my step ANYTHING. That’s just too damn funky and close to home… Well, if she was Adriana Lima then yes.. but only in the ass.

Stepfather: Do you feel that your music is being overshadowed by your celebrity acquaintances, friends, and lovers?

DJ AM: No.

Stepfather: How do you feel about providing us with some random gossip that no one will read, but you feel you need to get off your chest and what’s the deal with celebrity obsession, I like to pretend I care about celebrity, but I only do it for traffic to the site.

DJ AM: Hmmmmmm… gotta think about that…

Stepfather: I am an alcoholic, and I like to drink everything, including rubbing alcohol and tang, what is your drink of choice?

DJ AM: I am a sober recovering alkie… I aint had a drink in 7 years.

Stepfather: What are the chances that you would put me on permanent guestlist to all your events?

DJ AM: Slim to none cause there is no permanent guest list. But, if you give me a reach around in the booth I may get you in to 1 club.

Stepfather: Could you hook me up with naked pics of celebrities, it seems to really drive a lot of traffic to my site and I would really appreciate it, no one would know it is from you….I am thinking a DJ AM sex tape or something, is that likely?

DJ AM: Not a good look for you, got no pics 🙁

Stepfather: Who are your musical influences? What kind of music do you dig? What type of music do you play? What gets your dancefloor bumping?

DJ AM: I am strongly influnced by the music of David Hasselhoff. What a voice on that stunning man.

Stepfather: Are you going to pimp the expression “that’s porno� in LA, I think you have the visibility to make this the next big expression, you down?

DJ AM: It could be… but my girl is not feeling that word. I gotta break it in slowly.

Stepfather: I once saw a picture of you in high-end streetwear, have you always supported streetwear? How do you feel about the popularity of the homeless look, I remember when it was limited to people like me, who actually used food stamps while the hottest thing was Brandon Walsh from 90210…when it comes to art, do you have any?

DJ AM: Bryten Goss is an amazing painter. I have a crazy ass painting of his called Triumph Of Death. Its a street scene in LA where the dead wake up and tear thru the city killing everyone in sight. Its sexy.

Check out AM’s official site and drop him an email…HERE

Posted in:stepEXCLUSIVE|stepINTERVIEW

2006

09

Mar

I am – Nick’s Illegal Little Secret

I think with the way people are going insane arresting sex offenders is a good sign that you should limit all activity you spend with kids. That means don’t apply to be the lunch monitor, bus driver, teacher, baseball coach cuz even if you’re innocent some crazy mother’s gonna accuse you of it and next thing you know in 10 years, your on trial and all the little kids, now adults are testifying against you, saying you made them do things they didn’t like. How the fuck are you to know they don’t like jerking you off, I mean it feels so good from your perspective. Fucking brats. Anyway, I don’t wanna get more negative attention from the FBI, I just want to point out that I saw Mysterious Skin, and it seems like Lachey may be masking a relationship with a little boy with innocent games like bike riding. Maybe Jessica left him because she knew his little “shove your forearm up my ass” games. Either way, Mysterious Skin traumatized me.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

09

Mar

I am – Nick's Illegal Little Secret

I think with the way people are going insane arresting sex offenders is a good sign that you should limit all activity you spend with kids. That means don’t apply to be the lunch monitor, bus driver, teacher, baseball coach cuz even if you’re innocent some crazy mother’s gonna accuse you of it and next thing you know in 10 years, your on trial and all the little kids, now adults are testifying against you, saying you made them do things they didn’t like. How the fuck are you to know they don’t like jerking you off, I mean it feels so good from your perspective. Fucking brats. Anyway, I don’t wanna get more negative attention from the FBI, I just want to point out that I saw Mysterious Skin, and it seems like Lachey may be masking a relationship with a little boy with innocent games like bike riding. Maybe Jessica left him because she knew his little “shove your forearm up my ass” games. Either way, Mysterious Skin traumatized me.

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2006

08

Mar

I am – Toilet Paper Dispenser of the Day

Here is our second edition of StepTV. This time it is a clip of a toilet paper dispenser. It’s the little things in strip clubs that get me excited. I don’t give a fuck about the lap dances, or the stage dances, or licking the pole, or 10 dollar drinks, or falling in love 4 times in a night. I care about the toilet paper dispenser and why the fuck it looks the way it does.

Posted in:stepTV|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

08

Mar

I am – Enrique and Paulino Rubio of the Day

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Nobody cares about these people. Not because they are both moderately famous, but because they are spics and no matter how much money they have or how many drunk and lonely Latino mothers buy their albums, no one will ever really care about them. They are supposed to be dating, or something, which makes sense since they both speak spanish, but confuses me cuz I thought he was a poofter. I am mexican and I would never hook up with a spanish bitch cuz stab you in your sleep.

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2006

08

Mar

I am – Elisabetta Canalis: Bikini of the Day

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I don’t know who this bitch is, but she was in Deuce Bigalow the Europe Version and now she’s in a bikini. Either way, Rob Schneider’s a cunt.

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2006

08

Mar

I am – T-Shirt of the Day

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I like the thought of being walked all over and that’s why this is the T-shirt of the day. I am too drunk to think of anything funny to say about being walked all over, I can go one of two routes, one is the asian rub and tug I went to once where the bitch straps on heels and walks up and down my spine, before letting me jerk off on her tits, OR, I can talk about the canning factory I worked at where my boss used to call me Pablo and treat me like shit for 8 dollars an hour. I am listening to Dolly Parton. She shoulda won the Academy Award. That’s my story.

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