It’s hotter than a Mexican Prison during a gangbang in this motherfucker. The heat makes me lazy, as it does for most self-respecting Mexicans. So if anyone asks I am on vacation and if you never want to come back, I will always remember than night in Denver.

Keep in mind that it’s not the end of an era, it’s just the beginning.

And in the meantime check out the Emma Bunton See-Through, Uma Thurman in a Bikini, Pink picking a wedgie, Petra Nemcova on the runway topless. Also check out the fleshlight discussion board and LPSG….and as many amateur porn sites that you can, but most importantly send me in naked pics of your girlfriends. I know you’ve never actually had a girlfriend….but fucking pretend. Your sex life is embarassing.

See I am always hooking you up,

Cuddles,

Jesus

Remember you can always email me at info@drunkenstepfather.com

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So here’s the nipple picture all you motherfuckers have been looking for, I am not about to write a commentary on how nice nipples are to suck on, or how cool it is to not wear a bra, because no one really cares. I am also not going to write about how Mariah is a crackhead, her sister’s an official whore and how I have always thought she looked like a man. I am not going to use the word “wardrobe malfunction”, because I feel it is a term much like metrosexual, something I would never say because the losers in mainstream media coined it, and there is nothing cool about mainstream media, except for the anchor women, it’s nice to see how nicely women have integrated their species into society….that’s my post for the day…fuck you.

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I was talking to this 15 year old whore the other day while at the local pool. I like to go check out the scene, it’s summer and bathing suits make me happy. Anyway, this 15 year old bitch was rocking a one-piece bathing suit that her rich mom paid 400 dollars for. I don’t have a problem spending that kind of money on a bathing suit, if you’ve got it and the suit makes you look good, but I will admit I was a little under-dressed in my soiled jogging pant cut-offs. Anyway this 15 year old girl was telling me why she doesn’t wear bikinis, she claims that they are old news, I figure, what the fuck do I know, I like hot tits and a hot body, so the less it’s covered the better. I guess Kelly Clarkson, your American idol felt the same way, only today forgot to change out of it before her performance (if you can call it that). Bitch was like I will just throw on a pair of jeans and a bra and I look good. It’s not really something to freak out about, just remember she’s from Texas and it all makes sense. Point of this post is to say, I know this shit’s a stupid body suit, I did live through the 90s, sometimes surprised that I did, but I still saw my fair share – the one-piece bathing suit story was just to get you jealous that I know 15 year olds, you sick fuck. None of this changes the fact that Kelly Clarkson is a fat pig who should keep eating her bison burgers (the meat’s leaner)

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Hair is the new bald, we established this a long time ago, and all you stripper bitches freaked out on me, telling me that I am disgusting for supporting the bush and that’s bald’s the only way to go, well fuck you, I have never been one to complain about a bald pussy, I was just telling you that hair is in so thank me later, when you’re rockin a 70s bush and everyone’s loving you for it. I guess the bikini wax is not about to go away, cuz even if hair is in, no one wants to see it crawling down your thigh….so maintenance I guess is key. This whole post was basically about nothing, hair or no hair you still want to watch this bikini waxing video.

Video of a Brazilian Wax

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I like how people like to date people of the same socio-economic class as them, it helps the relationship because you understand each other. In this case you know what it’s like to be disgustingly rich, capable of doing whatever it is that you want at anytime, without any questions asked. Mary Kate’s dating a Greek-Shipping heir, they are the hottest accessory in Hollywood. It doesn’t really matter, I don’t want to come across bitter of their situations, because I am not. I am jealous of their size difference, only because he seems like a massive greek man, and she looks like a tiny alien on a mission to take geological samples back to her home planet, not to mention that as a greek man he digs ass sex, and as an alien – she has no genitals…it’s a sad case of affairs, I guess I can relate to MK, I always feel guilty when I can’t get it up for my wife….not because she doesn’t have genitals (she has plenty of those) but because I can’t deliver what she needs. She’s fucking huge dude, if you saw her, you’ understand

After the jump Mary Kate desperate for Friends (like you)

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I don’t know what Ashlee’s doing, she’s taken the ugly 80s being cool thing to heart. I guess she missed the memo that 80s are not the 90s, she was probably at the doctor dealing with her acid reflux which is cool and I can relate. I am overweight and 35, acid reflux is our disease that isn’t a disease and I take offense to her trying to bite my motherfucking rhyme. So anyway, bitch is rocking the outfit she stole from the bitch who played Six on Blossom, and although she was the first pre-teen i remember having tits on TV, she’s not someone you want to emulate…those were the dark years, 1991, I was living on a bench rockin the pipe and fucking inuit whores, but shit, when I always made it to a TV to watch Blossom.

Six’s Official Site

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It’s a fact, ironic t-shirts are fucking everywhere and I hate them, they do not make you hip or urban, they actually advertise to the world that you are in fact a fucking loser. Nothing screams “I am on the football team, I rock beer bongs and I like watching my buddies Shower and I started doing coke a few months ago cuz it’s all the rage” more than a shirt that says “Mexcellent”. I am not saying that they are gay, I am saying that they are obnoxious and usually the people rocking these things are the people spilling beer all over themselves in the bar as they put on a sketch comedy routine reminiscant of every bad comedy you have seen, I assume it is all in efforts to get laid because their shirt says “Trust me I am a Doctor”, motherfucker, I don’t care how much of a laugh you got in the store, or while you were watching Dodgeball and I really don’t care about how socially inept you are that you insist on embarassing youself to fit in and get noticed, but the only pussy you’ll be hooking up tonight will be from some slut just as drunk as you. Britney is rocking a shirt that says she’s got the golden ticket with an arrow pointing down, I assume she’s making reference to K-Fed’s dirty cumshot that she calls the parasite in her rotting womb and not to her box, because we all know that shit’s not golden, it is probably secreting some pretty interesting shit right now. I guess I shouldn’t expect more from a white trash southern whore, it’s hard not being obnoxious when it’s all you really know. RESPECT.

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It’s a fact, ironic t-shirts are fucking everywhere and I hate them, they do not make you hip or urban, they actually advertise to the world that you are in fact a fucking loser. Nothing screams “I am on the football team, I rock beer bongs and I like watching my buddies Shower and I started doing coke a few months ago cuz it’s all the rage” more than a shirt that says “Mexcellent”. I am not saying that they are gay, I am saying that they are obnoxious and usually the people rocking these things are the people spilling beer all over themselves in the bar as they put on a sketch comedy routine reminiscant of every bad comedy you have seen, I assume it is all in efforts to get laid because their shirt says “Trust me I am a Doctor”, motherfucker, I don’t care how much of a laugh you got in the store, or while you were watching Dodgeball and I really don’t care about how socially inept you are that you insist on embarassing youself to fit in and get noticed, but the only pussy you’ll be hooking up tonight will be from some slut just as drunk as you. Britney is rocking a shirt that says she’s got the golden ticket with an arrow pointing down, I assume she’s making reference to K-Fed’s dirty cumshot that she calls the parasite in her rotting womb and not to her box, because we all know that shit’s not golden, it is probably secreting some pretty interesting shit right now. I guess I shouldn’t expect more from a white trash southern whore, it’s hard not being obnoxious when it’s all you really know. RESPECT.

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You know him as Spock from Star Trek, as you should, considering you haven’t really done anything on social since the last convention, you’re an internet geek, and we wouldn’t want you to change your ways. There is nothing wrong with living with your mom, until she dies and never tasting pussy. Just be happy you will always have the re-runs. The good thing about Spock is that he’s moved from Star Trek and now takes pictures of naked fat girls, take his lead motherfucker. I am a little offended that he didn’t ask me to get my wife to model for him, but I guess she’s just too fat…discrimination comes from all angles.

Speaking of Fat check out Playette, she’s a whore.

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As all the other celebs fall apart at the seam, get knocked up with white trash babies, release sex tapes, do mass amounts of drugs and jump off hotel balconies into pools, suck dick for jobs and waste away with diet pills, Christina Aguilera, the girl we all thought would have her cooch all up on the internet 3 years ago – maintains her shit. She’s rockin out at some fashion show, too exclusive for you, and she’s looking good. See I am not all bad.

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