Monica Bellucci likes bald topless men and let’s them grab her titties because she is a hooker and getting paid to let bald men grab her titties, it’s just part of her job. Kotex fits, Period. And I know she’s not actually getting her titties grabbed, but we can pretend, can’t we? Isn’t that what you do everytime you have sex with your pillow? You know, pretend it’s a real girl? Cuddles.

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So I have been slacking on this shit for the last 6 months, I have been busy getting drunk and when I am hung over, the last thing I think about is how the insecure dudes with huge cocks are doing. I am not really a member of the LPSG, they actually hate me cuz my dick’s nice and burried, I’m rocking 2 inches hard and that is just how I am living, but that’s not the point, the point is that I don’t actually get hard, it’s a little thing called enlarged prostate from years of hard living and an ugly fucking wife, when flacid, finding it is like a fucking treasure hunt.

The interesting thing about people with big cocks is that they measure their shit with their dad’s and brothers, the thing that this motherfucker forgot to mention is that they use their colons as the measuring stick.

Like anything, penis size is somewhat hereditary. My dad is hung pretty big, and I have 2 other brothers. We compared when we were young, and clearly there are no guarantees. I’m 9.25″, my older brother is 9″, but our youngest brother is only 7.5″. If you’re hung really big, I would think your sons would have better chance of being hung too. Have to wait and see though.

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Some girls like porn. Other girls like titty fucking dildos. This bitch likes both. She runs a couple pornsites and she makes videos of herself titty fucking dildos. It’s too bad that all bitches who willingly get naked on webcam make my penis shrivel up and die.

This is the video of the day.

Watch Videos Here

visit her site Here

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Thanks to Kimmy Stewart, people everywhere can go to bed knowing that no matter how much money your daddy gives you, you’re still a fat ugly bitch.

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When I go to the Drug Store to buy embarassing items, I always do a cover-up buy buying normal things like cold compresses, a sleeping mask, maybe a little shampoo, to take focus away from my yeast infection medication (it’s a fetish) and my herpes medication. You see, even though I don’t really care what the cashier thinks about me, she’s still got a mouth and no one wants her telling her friends that Tori Spelling’s got herpes. That’s pretty much the end of this post, how’d you like it?

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I like to believe that the only people who read this site are losers who live in their mom’s basement and never get laid, or leave their computer for that matter. I go out of my way to give advice to you hurtbags as to how you can go out and get a little vagina, or a big vagina or any vagina, because it’s a hell of a lot more interesting than reading this shit. I figure even if you are paying for the shit, you at least get to cum in the presence of another person who isn’t a 48 year old man in Arkansas pretending to be a hot horny 18 year old college girl in the chat rooms you frequent. No one’s judging, you’re just looking for love and a little attention.

But I was wrong, a girl actually reads this site and she goes by the name Miss Lilly. She writes into me with a couple of pictures and I was totally blown away. She didn’t send me pics of an erect penis saying “I Will Fuck You UP Jesus”, like I’ve grown accustomed to. I guess I can’t say much other than this bitch is worth a round or two,Frosted Lipstick and stripper eyeliner aside, if I wasn’t a married, impotent or a lazy fat man, I’d be starting up a “Donate Here” post all you fuckers to help pay for my ticket down to where ever the fuck she is. I would totally raw dog this girl, because honestly, some girls are worth the risk….

This is the email she wrote me and Miss Lilly we loovvvee you too.

Hola! I’m finally sending you an email just to tell
you how much i loovvvee your blog! I used to just read
it every now and then to kill time at work and now its
my favorite pass-time! keep doing what you do cuz you
got fans,baby! …nothin but respect – xoxox MissLilly

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The latest craze for celebrity singers with really ugly boyfriends is to go out to the farmer’s market and buy a couple pumpkins and by pumpkins I am not talking about another set of fake titties. I guess there’s nothing really exciting about X-Tina and her virgin-lookin boyfriend buying pumpkins, even if it’s for some satanic sex ritual where they stick the pumpkin in the microwave for 45 seconds, or until it’s nice and warm, cut a penis sized hole in it, and take turns fucking the shit out of it, ya know X-tina on the stem, boyfriend in the hole, it’s a great solution for those herpes outbreaks. I am just bitter at the fact that I never celebrated Halloween as a kid, my mother wasn’t too involved in my life, and Halloween was a time she was out making money, she’d dress up in a bear costume with 2 fuck-holes in it and get all out of control with the American business men in town. Those aren’t my memories of Halloween it was every fucking day of my life.

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I don’t feel guilty looking at these pics if the girl is confident posting them. However, this shit’s gotta be illegal cuz a 16 year old rockin out in her underwear seems like something you shouldn’t be taking part in if you aren’t 16 or younger. I got a theory that if you pick up a young girl in the club never ask her how old she is, just the fact that she’s up in there is proof enough and you can go home with her, without worries. The doorman’s job is to approve the girls you can legally fuck…so if he does a bad job, you get to luck out. If you’re out in the playground lookin for dates, brother, you gotta switch up that strategy, cuz if not you’ll make my sexual offender of the day post, and I don’t think your mom would be too proud.

If you are wondering what pic I am talking about check the Myspace Profile Here

I didn’t feel right posting it, not cuz I am soft(figuratively) but because I don’t need to get arrested, again.

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There’s something about erotica and artistic nudes I don’t fully understand, it’s naked bodies all up against each other but the shit couldn’t get me hard even if I wasn’t impotent. Now, we know this bitch as the bikini clad host of Wild On, but like everyone she had to get a start somewhere. These pics are really old and I know nothin’ about her; other than the fact that you can see beaver in the last 2 pics.

Check out pics here

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