I don’t have a functioning penis, so this site has nothing to do with me, but it’s always funny watching men message each other about their huge penises. Even if I had the biggest cock this side of Uganda, I doubt I would ever congregate with fellow big penised people. In fact, I would probably find a small penis support group and just post pics taunting those self conscious little fuckers….

Read the post after the jump…

My wife and I are experiencing difficulty sometimes during sex. Even though she is wet we have to take it real slow when I enter her. Once we take our time, then it is okay. Then it becomes painful again for her when I’m about to climax, my penis becomes stiffer and larger at that point. This seems to happen almost half the time we have sex. After her period it is certain to happen since we would have gone without sex for at least a week. Hurting her puts her and myself off of sex.

My wife feels that this pain is size related. I don’t have a ridiculously large penis. It is not like I’m 11″ long or anything. I’m about 7.5″ and about 6.25″ around. So this isn’t a freak show topic.

I’m sure some of you have had some experience with this and would appreciate hearing about any techniques that you know of that gets around this problem.

Thanks,
Robert

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Lohan made 40,000,000 dollars last year. That is more money than most of us will make over the course of our pathetic lives. She went shopping with her slave, I mean hired friend. I know that was racist, but I am from the south, cotton-pickin jokes are part of who I am …..we have been coined the home of Lohan. Here are the pics of her shopping. In case you didn’t know I feel totally horrible putting these up, I mean let this girl have a private life you sick fucks.

More Pics and a funny story After The Jump…

Location: New York read more stories about New York
Celebrity: LINDSEY LOHAN
Restaurant: MAXUMS (HAIR SALON)

I HAVE A VERY CLOSE FRIEND WHO USED TO WORK AT MAXUMS (MERRICK, LONG ISLAND) AND LINDSEY AND HER FAMILY HAVE BEEN GOING THERE SINCE SHE WAS LITTLE. WELL FIRST THEY SAID SHE WAS VERY NICE UNTIL SHE DID “FREAKY FRIDAY” THEN SHE BECAME MISS DIVA AKA BITCH . THE FUNNY THING IS THAT SHE ANNOUNCES TO EVERYONE THAT HER BREASTS ARE REAL BUT THE DAY AFTER SHE GOT THEM DONE SHE CAME INTO THAT PLACE ALL DRUGGED UP AND GOT HER HAIR DONE. SHE WAS 17 WHEN SHE GOT HER BOOBS DONE. THEY ARE FAKE AND DON’T LET HER TELL YOU ANY DIFFERENT.

Via BitterWaitress

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Video Clips are a waste of time. So I decided to do what I do everyday and find a bunch of clips for you to enjoy. There are a few good Chinese New Year Clips that will get your smile on. Happy Chinese New Year, me and my people will be celebrating/recovering all day by doing Karate and eating egg rolls and won-ton soup. What’s that General Tao?

Clips after the jump….

Minxy Caught Masturbating
Here

Fat Kid On a Diving Board
Here

Cancun Girls Slutting Out
Here

Chinese New Year – Sex in Forest
Here

Chinese New Year – Leaky Girls
Here

Chinese New Year of the Dog Ass Licking
Here

Chinese New Year- Bartending Skills
Here

Kirsta Allen Naked in Shower
Here

Guy Fucking a Sex Doll – Dirty
Here

Drunk Girls Screaming Anus
Here

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I don’t like Playboy it is too softcore to objectify women, which I am really against, but playboy is some real pussy shit. It is a way for celebrities with dying careers to revamp their image and get people talking again. Remember Tiffany? Neither do I, but I think we’re alone now. Here is a archive of a lot of celebrities who appeared in Playboy. You won’t be able to jerk off to this shit, which I don’t advocate you doing anyway, because masturbation is the devil. Don’t you read the bible? You aren’t allowed to spill your seed motherfucker.

Corinthians 6:18 (NIV) “Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body.”

Check out the gallery
Here

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I don’t watch porn. I hate the way it objectifies women. It really offends me and I wish all pornstars were dead, especially my ex-wife, that cunt. Unfortunately I can’t get my way, but after finding this list, we know we are on the right track…This list hit really close to home because I was conceived on the set of a mexican donkey porno movie, we do everything better in Mexico. True Story.

Check out the list. You will see that most died from suicide, I guess getting fucked on camera isn’t that great on your self-esteem. A lot died of drug overdoses, because where there is a camera, big cock and fucking there are drugs. A couple were murdered and a few died of Aids. I know…it’s not just for the gays anymore, but that won’t stop this buck from barebacking…

Enjoy the list.

Here via a place we call WTFPeople.com

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Lohan has gotten another role! It seems that the divorce, her boob removal and heavy drug use is not slowing her down. So without furthe ado, the Home of Lohan presents your Lohan News of the Day.
Lindsay has scored the role of Meryl Streep’s daughter in a new Robert Altman film. The movie is called A Prairie Home Companion – and is about a small-town country music station. Sounds bad already!

More Info@ Teen Hollywood and Contact Music

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Our Kosher series returns!
The Kosher series examines Poultry! Exciting isnt it.

There are no ways to recognise kosher birds. The bible gives a long list of birds that are not kosher. The Jews could thus eat any bird that is not on this list but in practice most only eat chicken, turkey and duck. Even these may be declared treyfah if they have defective internal organs.

Lev. 11:13-19 : These you shall regard as detestable among the birds. They shall not be eaten; they are an abomination: the eagle, the vulture, the osprey, the buzzard, the kite of any kind; every raven of any kind; the ostrich, the nighthawk, the sea gull, the hawk of any kind; the little owl, the cormorant, the great owl, the water hen, the desert owl, the carrion vulture, the stork, the heron of any kind, the hoopoe, and the bat.

Sponsored by: ***JEWS KICK ASS***
The chosen tee shirt for the chosen people….

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One day you wake up and realize that you have been literally dating a little girl, a small innocent, immature, bratty little girl and not a man. You stare at the curve of his spine that faces you and see a whiggling little child. Getting over a crazy man, is not for everyone. Okay maybe not crazy, but bipolar. A hard sturdy frame that houses a small child.

READ THE REST OF THIS INCREDIBLE STORY AFTER THE JUMP

Okay, so I move in. Okay, he licks me up and down till I am all wet and wriggling. Okay, so we fall in love, okay so we share secrets. Okay so I move to the country for him. Okay, I live in a place with no sidewalks. Okay my cell phone has no serivice. Okay I get pregnant, okay we decide not to have it. Okay, new promises were made. Okay, futures were written. Okay, he goes through all my belongings, journals, letters, emails, phone bills, digi pictures. Then says no one is bigger than the truth. No one. Yet find out that he has been reading my emails for the last six months we were together. And everyone knows that if you scratch the surface hard enough, you will always find something. I guess at this age we all are finding it hard to fully commit to a notion, to a possible concept.

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for all of my sexual escapades, i took myself out this afternoon for some breakfast. i got all dressed up with my new white satin panties. they are cut low into tight shirts, and the back rides up high so that the apples of my bottom are visible. the sides are held together by this white ribbon that is tied into a bow on the side of my upper thigh. i was wearing a white velour suit , with not much underneath, and was contemplating how easy it would be to strip naked and lather myself in syrup when the waiter came to the table. his name tag said Fillipe.

READ THE REST OF THIS STORY – AFTER THE JUMP

He smiled, looking down my shirt. i smiled as i took his left hand and guided into under the table, inside my pants. He looked around to see if anyone was watching. There were so many people i thought he would never tell me where to meet him. He told me with this rabid look in his eyes to meet him in the coat check room. As soon as he had gone to the next table i ran into the coat check room, peeled off my clothes and sat down on a folding chair, with my legs crossed, waiting. Fillipe came in a few minutes later, lifted up my legs and wrapped them around his waist. i unzipped his fly and started to play, happily noting the size and color of his penis. Starting at my ankles, he began to lick and nibble at my skin, slowly making his way down one leg and then the other, finally burrowing his bandanaed head into my vagina, which was more than happy to let him do all the work. My body began to shake with the tremors induced by his expert lapping at my clitoris and i started to slide off the chair. Noticing this he lifted me and placed me on a mink fur coat which had fallen off a hanger. The ebony fur cradled my body as Fillipe cupped my breasts and sucked on my vagina until i could not stand it anymore and begged for him in pleading whispers to get inside of me and make me scream. “play with it some more” he said and i giggled and took him inside of my hands and licked it in tiny circles like i saw the sex trade workers in the Philippines do it, he was big enough for me to deep throat without much of a gag reflex, but i could not put it all in. Instead, i sucked along the shaft, pressing my tongue into it, and rolled his balls in one hand as if i was getting ready to roll dice. With my other hand, i was playing with my nipples, making them hard and them pressing them in, and then pinching them so that they would be hard again. He put his fingers in my mouth and i started to suck and then he was sucking on my breasts and fingering my ass and i was moving my hands up and down his cock faster and faster, pulling him closer to me, guiding him into me, crawling on top of him and riding up and down on him with one leg bent with my foot against the wall, wrapped around his back, and my other leg pushed to the side so that he had room to penetrate me and have finger my ass at the same time, all the while watching my body do what it does best. When we realized that we had not locked or closed the door, it had been too late and saw that someone had closed it for us. Feeling rejuvenate from the brief break, i let him know by deeply fingering myself and tilting my head back for the full orgasm effect. Coming around and standing behind me, he held my head with his hands as a support, got on his knees and inserting his penis into my mouth. i was lying down at this point, still going at it strong with my own two hands, and started to dart my tongue all over his penis. When he came i swallowed and he climbed down on top of me and finished me off as i grabbed his legs and scratched at them, i was dying to scream. i got up first and put my clothes on, tipped him a twenty and took a plastic container of peanut butter on my way out. The hostess was looking at me funny and the man smoking outside in a chefs uniform was smiling at me and winked. i left the parking lot and decided that it was too late for breakfast and that tacos would be great to eat.

i am-who is this morning’s outfit? /
i am – coming clean / I am – Another Magical Afternoon /I am-hitting the parade /I am – Minxy Winxy Pudding + Pie /I am – all for sexual favors/I am – magic moments with minx /i am-throwing alcohol on you and then tossing the match /
I am – Democracy /I am – dancing like a slut on fire / I am – black whole theory

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Have you ever wondered what it takes to use a fleshlight? Have you ever thought what the hell do these guys do? Have you ever thought to yourself “hey what’s this fleshlight all about and how do people use it”? Well I haven’t either, but when I came across these links to Fleshbot loving, I figured why the hell not deliver them to you. So if you want to see clips of dudes and their fleshlights you know what to do…..

This is Not Safe For Work,Lots of Penis in Rubber Vagina, Not Safe for Homophobes, Not Safe for closet cases because you may get hard…this is definitely not safe for girls with penis phobia….check out the clips after the jump….

Official Fleshlight Video

This video is a professionally shot production of ILF Inc. and it goes over how incredible the FleshLight feels, how to prepare yourself and use it, and other good information. You won’t believe your eyes, this is a keeper for sure! When I saw this one I know I just HAD to have one.

Video Clip Here

Asthma Attack Fleshlight Fuck

This video shows what the real action is like. A late-twenties guy fucks his Supertight Lady insert to a very powerful orgasm. He starts out slowly, then speeds up, stroking his cock in and out of the insert real fast, and finally he falls back on bed and lets his cock explode outside the Fleshlight, shooting cum all over his stomach. A must see! No sound, unfortunately, but you can see by how hard he’s breathing that this was a fuck to remember.

Video Clip Here

Fleshlight Fuck Standing Up

This guy’s cock is really penetrating that Ultratight Lady insert, you can see how the insert bulges over the edges of the case. He fucks the insert standing up and stroking it up and down on his cock. You can also see some lube dripping out of the insert. This is a very short video, no sound and no orgasm, just nice and steady stroking.

Video Clip Here

Teaching His Fleshlight who the boss is….

Same guy as before, only now he’s sitting in his chair fucking a Supertight Super Ribbed Lady. You can see his cock stretching that insert and entering and leaving, and how the insert material flexibly bulges around his shaft to make space. Also, he uses a nice trick rotating the insert, to give his knob a nice soft stroke. Still no orgasm, and no sound, but by the shuddering and straining, and by how hard his cock is, you can see he is really close to cumming!
http://locker-room.com/video/current/action_8.wmv

This is a special treat. A guy with an extra large cock fucking his Regular Pink Lady. You can see how he fucks the insert upwards by rotating his hips, making his knob disappear inside the Fleshlight which he holds steady with his left hand. Finally he can’t stand the pleasure anymore and finishes off with a few quick strokes, concentrating on pleasuring his dickhead. No sound again, sorry

Video Clip Here

You’ve made it this far….FAG!!!

OK, this is what you will do when you just let yourself go wild!! This guy fucks his Regular Ice Lady with such abandon that he’s literally bouncing on the bed. He’s having so much fun that his only thoughts are to go faster and faster, fucking that Fleshlight at 60 RPM and even faster!

After fucking on the bed a while, he switches techniques and shows how you can set the insert between a mattress and the box springs, and fuck hands free as if you’re fucking your partner doggy style. Watch the material bulge and snap right back as his dick goes inside and out.

The video is low quality, the lighting bad, there’s no sound, but oh, what an experience!!! Not to be missed.

Video Clip Here

All via FLESHLIGHT

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