With little fanfare or attention the creator of the poutine Fernand Lachance, died earlier this year at the age of 86. And guess what he died of: Thats right, pulmonary disease. Although he did live till 86 so thats not to bad.

It all happend one cold september night in 1957. That was where Lachance met a trucker with a special request.

“I wanted fries, but I saw cheese curds on the counter. I asked Fernand to mix them together,”

Read on Here

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I think our muslim fans are feeling neglected from our lack of attention to their religion. So i asked my assistant to pull up some of the Sex rules for Islamists.

ENJOY

Sexual intercourse invalidates the fast, even if the penetration is as little as the tip of the male organ, and even if there has been no ejaculation.

* If the penetration is less than the tip of the male organ, so that it cannot be said that intercourse has taken place, also if no ejaculation takes place, the fast does not become invalid. This applies to both, circumcised and uncircumcised men

1596. If a person forgets that he is observing fast and commits sexual intercourse or he is compelled to have sexual intercourse in a manner that makes him helpless, his fast does not become void. However, if he remembers (that he is observing fast) or ceases to be helpless during sexual intercourse, he should withdraw from the sexual intercourse at once, and if he does not, his fast becomes void.

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In this multi part series I will take you through the Jewish Attitudes Towards Sexuality and make you a better person.

According to my Rabbi, “sexual desire comes from the “yetzer ra” (the evil impulse. Like hunger, thirst or other basic instincts, sexual desire must be controlled and channeled” (What the hell does that mean).

He also told me “when sexual desire is satisfied between a husband and wife at the proper time, out of mutual love and desire, sex is a mitzvah”. (I wonder if that includes your stepdaughter)

Thats it for now…my Rabbi is hungry and Im taking out for a nice Gefilte Fish dinner. Tune in next time

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All I want for Christmas is a Jew….

That being said.. maybe you have asked yourself what do Jews do for Xmas….

Well topping the list is Go out for Chinese Food. But I would argue that a lot go away to the beach, mainly florida to visit their bubbies….

The list of what Jews do for xmas is here

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Here are some gift ideas when shopping for a poor person

1- Rubbing alcohol
2- Can of Baked Beans
3- Food Stamps
4- Crack Rock
5- Iceberg Lettuce

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Here are some gift ideas when shopping for a poor person

1- Rubbing alcohol
2- Can of Baked Beans
3- Food Stamps
4- Crack Rock
5- Iceberg Lettuce

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Everyone hates them
They use up our tax dollars
They shop at Wal Mart
They are less educated
They are less attractive
They upsize when they can
Most of them are obese
They prey on rich people during the holidays
They where snowsuits that don’t match

They are – Poor People

Definition: [n] a person with few or no possessions
Synonyms: have-not
See Also: down-and-out, drifter, floater, pauper, poor man, unfortunate, unfortunate person, vagrant

See what a poor person looks like

Here

Here

Here

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Carl’s Jr has a new hard hitting Breakfast Burger that has 830 calories and 46 grams of fat.

Their slogan is “It’s a Coffee Shop Breakfast Plate on a Bun”

It consists of Egg, Hash Browns, Bacon and an All Beef Patty and cheese nestled between two hamburger buns.

An insider said this “Our Theory was that the lower consumption pattern for burgers was due to the lack of availability and awareness of burgers as a breakfast option or the lack of a burger specifically designed for breakfast”

If you want to see this dirty slophole – suicide sandwich click

here

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the tables have turned.
no longer can i declare what is commonly known as holy war on guilty bystanders,
because my time has come to get knocked.
this morning, at breakfast, innocently eating my 7 pub style chicken fingers,
my step mother walks in and tells me i am eating the wrong fingers,
i grabbed her fist and attempted to take a bite but as my delightfully unmanicured hands grabbed her horribly manicured hands, she yelped, i stopped,
resorted to eating my own fingers, thank you VERY MUCH.
as i got up, mid meal with my fingers in between my un-lipsticked lips,
dodging plates, plants and fried matzoh (which was being aimed at me, even though i was EATING-
anyways i was getting ready to walk up the stairs to go back into bed (current time, 2 pm) when nanny screams “you look like shit, take a shower and put some makeup on!”
to which i yelled back,
with a fist which pierced through the air
like a proud beacon of my beliefs
“I AM AGAINST MAINTENANCE!”
and crept back under the covers, with my fingers.

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Friendster Message of the Day comes from Cynthia.

Cynthia overanalyzes everything and am completely paranoid about the smallest details. she laughs too loudly. and swears too often. chugs expensive coffee like water and spends all her money on art. i have the best job in the world and let all the waiters buy me drinks (as often as they’d like). i fall in love with older boys and enjoy (faking) orgasmic bliss.

Her Subject was Randy:
Her Message was:

i’m a little overwhelmed.
but i LIKE it.
i’m really not a man.
my french sucks too.
i would only be able to tolerate celine if i was really plastered and drawing you naked.
my alcohol tolerance is embarassing.
we should make out.
i’d let you touch my boob.
i’m glad you introduced me to your female-named hero.
tell him i said hi.
i’m a bit of a prude.
but i was serious about my teachers.
i think you’re clever.
i wonder if our inperson conversations would be dull or excentric
you make me blush.
i think we should seriously go for drinks.
i wonder if you’d stand me up.
i’m pasty white too.
and always have paint on my hands.
my eyes are green.
i stalk scott moffatt.
i am random.and intrigued.
and goddammit your humor is a turn on.
now what?

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