Earlier today I feel in love with a few hot round college asses in leggings….apparently, I wasn’t the only one following this one girl as she walked, like a cartoon, she was accumulating more and more dudes as she kept walking…I couldn’t keep up, because walking is hard when you’re dying of obesity…so I broke […]

I wasn’t at Coachella for the weekend, because I am not an asshole…but I did have the most amazing model do a Sunday morning takeover on my snapchat “drunkstepfather” and it was brilliant…Phoebe Price (yes that Pheobe Price) craziness and my favorite Irish dream ROSALIND LIPSETT I was at a dive bar with a group […]

I see the good in everything. Once I was about to stick my dick, unprotected, inside some disgusting girl, because I am self destructive, have no self respect and when you get that rare erection, you use it…only to realize there was some kind of mucus oozing out… I almost lost my boner, but I […]

Nothing says “let’s celebrate the resurrection of your son of god” like a good old fashioned smoked ham, some carrot cake, and a day of hiding colorful eggs around the house, to brianwash children with sugar into believing the lie…it’s actually not based on early Christianity, but more on the tactic used by priests to […]

People are so uptight and I love making them feel uncomfortable…to asking a girl working a coffee shop what her favorite ethnicity of coffee is, to which she said “ethiopian”…but realized she may be misunderstood and she may be seen as a racist and she froze, freaked out and got awkward…so I told her I […]

Diary of a Facebook Prisoner: Jesus Martinez DAY 29.5 in Facebook Jail The most valuable lesson I learned this weekend wasn’t how to make a 20 year old have sex with you. It wasn’t how to get a 20 year old to eat your ass. It wasn’t even how to cum on the face of […]

Diary of a Facebook Prisoner: Jesus Martinez DAY 18.5 in Facebook Jail Instagram deleted a pic of a girl in a bikini cuz my caption was “I just masturbated to this pic” I JUST MASTURBATED TO THIS PIC as a caption gets your picture deleted on INSTAGRAM What the fuck kind of world do we […]

Diary of a Facebook Prisoner: Jesus Martinez DAY 17.5 in Facebook Jail I tried launching my own social media movement today. I called it #whoopiGOLDBERGWednesday…. A photo posted by www.drunkenstepfather.com (@drunkenstepfatherdotcom) on Mar 2, 2016 at 1:20pm PST It was a fail….because no one cares about Whoopi Goldberg on Wednesdays…but for some reason 8,000,000 people […]

Diary of a Facebook Prisoner: Jesus Martinez DAY 6.5 in Facebook Jail Along with realizing how useless a platform facebook is, something I already knew many years ago when I had at least 3-4 accounts deleted pre this current account from 2010, and that they are censoring pieces of shit, which I guess realized about […]