I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

Archive for the Boring Category

2010

14

May

Christina Ricci Small Tits are Boring as Fuck of the Day

One of the great tragedies of the 90s was when alien-head Christina Ricci decided to be anorexic. Cuz I used to be a fucking fan…The Addams Family brough on some solid jerk off sessions, so what….but her sex appeal quickly went to fucking shit….

I guess it was her dark teenage period where she was battling the pressure of her career as a child star, trying to transition to a respectable career as an artist…..and in doing so, became a tattooed goth who didn’t eat because I guess it was the one thing she could control….

Actors are so intense for no reason. They are self-conscious and act all serious, cerebral, and intellectual about their bullshit careers, I guess to make it feel like they do something substantial or that they are artits…even though they actually have less depth that and cardboard cut-out…but I guess there’s no fun in admitting that….when you can play make-belief….

Either way, the tragedy wasn’t that anorexia is bad, cuz I honestly appreciate eating disorders when they involve a bitch getting skinnier and not eating disorders where a bitch eats her feelings, but that she decided to amputate her fucking huge teen tits cuz she couldn’t starve them away and I guess they were fucking up her anorexic look…and whenever someone ruins a good thing for no reason other than her own psychological bullshit, it makes me hat her.

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Boring|Christina Ricci

2010

13

May

Bar Refaeli Boring for Lexus of the Day

Bikini and lingerie model I wouldn’t mind having sex with or at least see laying in bed with random objects inside her has disappointed me. She showed up to an event she was hosting and she wasn’t wearing a bikini or lingerie. I can’t figure out where these bitches get off, thinking that they made millions off their bodies and now people are booking them to host their events because they’ve secured their place in the world, while in reality people only book them because they want to see some fucking tits, so lower your neckline Refaeli…..cuz these pictures suck the life out of me.

Luckily Ariadne Artiles stepped it up a little sluttier, not that I know who she is, but because she knew Bar Refaeli was there and that she better go all out or go home if she wanted to get noticed…but is still boring…which leaves me wondering what ever happened to hot tub parties…

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Bar Refaeli|Boring

2010

05

May

Hilary Swank Boring Hard Nippled Tits of the Day

I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t try to jerk off to Hilary Swank’s naked body in Boys Don’t Cry at least once…There’s a scene I remember where amongst acting and dressing like a boy, she gets violated by her buddies who rip her clothes off and reveal her awesome fucking tits, and I figured that after watching such a heavy load of shit about some confused lesbian who fucked Becky from Roseanne with a strap-on, I had no choice but to celebrate when they busted out her tits and bush to distract me from her stupid looking face and the fact that she was pretending to be a boy the whole movie….

You see Hilary Swank isn’t hot. She’s got the floppy face of a basset hound, but her tits carry her through life and make her other flaws okay, so when I see her braless with hard nipples, I forget that she’s too old for my liking and that she looks like a farmhand in Missouri repairing the fucking tractor…something I know turns your closet-case ass on, so enjoy and remember that it’s not gay if she’s got hard nippled tits, even if it feels like it is kinda gay, cuz she looks like an awkward teenage boy.

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Boring|Hilary Swank

2010

05

May

Marisa Miller and Her Husband Bore Me of the Day

I love when I come across people who make commentary about girls they jerk off to from movies, lingerie catalogs, bikini spreads in magazines being married or in a relationship. They see pictures of them living their everyday life and they get legitimately disappointed, like their fantasy is totally fucking ruined that the model is some pure virgin put on the earth to satsify their needs, despite not actually knowing the woman on a personal level, even when the bitch is Marisa Miller who looks like she’s taken more loads to her face to pay her rent than any other model, like she’s seriously haggard and washed up and she’s pretty much only been picked up by the majors recently and late in her career, when the only thing you should be mad about is the fact that she has the nerve to walk around in everyday clothes, like she’s not a fucking bikini model, who makes her money being half naked, and who needs or should have enough respect for her fanbase to give them what they fucking want, whether on duty or not, she’s got a commitment and we’ve all helped her make it very fucking rich and she shouldn’t be so smug about it. Cunt.

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Boring|Marisa Miller

2010

31

Mar

Kate Bosworth is Boring But Hot of the Day

I know Kate Bosworth is boring as fuck, but like every boring as fuck girl, I can only assume it is safe to say that she’s not a boring fuck. It’s like she keeps shit played down and conservative, but the second you get her to trust you, she turns into a freak in bed, at least that’s what I like to think, because I think she’s kinda hot and like most hot girls, I like to visualize them bouncing on my pathetic excuse for a dick, not that you care….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Boring|Kate Bosworth

2010

05

Mar

Rachel Bilson is Fucking Boring of the Day

Fuck you Rachel Bilson, for seducing me early on in your career, and giving me hope that you’d be naked in movies, or at least in the party scene, feeding my fantasies at least a little, but instead you just got engaged, got boring and mock me with your conservative outfits, when I know under all that bullshit is a pussy that likes to be ravaged…it’s really insulting that she can live the good life off a cocktease….we need to start a revolt and make the bitch regain our trust to deserve our attention…any more of these boring bullshit pictures and I’m going to be forced to start putting all my energy in ruining this girl. First, I will be applying for a restraining order against her because my sex drive feels threatened by her constant boring pictures and then I am going to start a strongly worded petition that every man who likes fucking pussy will sign because this is seriously a waste of a perfectly good vagina…..and then someone should make her Canadian husband from Star Wars cheat on her so she can move on, the only access I have to him is through his sister who my friend fucked on a carpeted apartment floor in Toronto and humiliated her enough to make her hate both him and me, so we need another insider to start sending whores his way…then we’ll get Bilson back where she belongs, only with more emotional damage, something that always makes a bitch more slutty but until that happens, I hate her…

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Boring|Rachel Bilson

2010

04

Mar

Some Boring Pictures of Miranda Kerr of the Day

When I see a Victoria’ Secret model, I like her to be half naked. As far as I’m concerned she doesn’t wear anything but lingerie and bikinis even if she does and when I do see boring shit like this being pulled by one of them, I get angry because this is just not what they are meant to be doing…it’s against the whole “Selling Their Soul to the Devil and by Devil I mean Victoria’s Secret because many other girls could be in their place, cuz let’s face it you’re not that great” policy…but I have a feeling some of you can still get off to this bullshit….and that’s why I am posting it…you know cuz I’m homo like that and get off to helping “straight” guys cum….and you’re the “straight guy” turning another guy on by doing what you’re doing to yourself…making you pretty fucking gay too….not that I’m actually gay, but for a second I felt like I could be, because why else would i bother posting celebrity smut and shit for dudes to jerk off to all day….it just doesn’t make sense…it’s like I’m bribing you for some sick purpose…that’s the only possible explanation…

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Boring|Miranda Kerr

2010

25

Feb

Hayden Panettiere is Boring of the Day

Hayden Panettiere is clearly the worst circus freak around. Most midgets know their place in the world and get up in the Carni life, where they learn to either be shot out of cannons, or feed the lions, or if they are lucky they become the ringmaster and run the whole fucking show, but instead of embracing that life, she lived the spoiled brat who needs her Hollywood actor mom to hook her up with gigs cuz she felt sorry for making such a fucked up kid with her coke-up uterus….and the whole thing is far more boring that seeing her spit fire, eat swords or do anything of any real substance or talent….here are the pics.

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Boring|Hayden Panettiere

2010

02

Feb

Christina Aguilera is Boring on Set of the Day

I downloaded these pictures thinking I wasn’t going to end up with pictures of some Celine Dion lookin’ trash. I was like “oh shit, Aguilera on set of something called Burlesque, this is gonna be good”, maybe she’d have cameltoe, or she’d be breast feeding, or maybe even have a hard nipple, fuck I thought she’d at least look like she was worth trying to abduct and make your wife in the woods somewhere before getting caught and shot by the police but I was wrong… I am posting them anyway because I want you you to share my disappointment with me. Feel the disappointment and remember that feeling because I am sure you’ll feel it again soon, like next time you look in the mirror, or next time you open your pay check, or next time you sober up and see what you just slept with…I’m sure you’ve felt it before, only know you’ll think of me when it happens again and I’ll be glad to join you in spirit…This shit is far too emo…gonna put it out of its misery now….

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Boring|Christina Aguilera