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Archive for the Salma Hayek Category

2011

11

May

Salma Hayek Puss and Boobs of the Day

I wonder how many people made the Puss & Boobs joke when posting pictures of Salma Hayek and Antonio Banderas at some movie premiere. I’m thinking at least one.

So a spic and a spaniard walk in a bar…no wait, she’s a Mexican and Mexicans get mad when you call them Spics, cuz we ain’t no J.Lo….

I haven’t figured out why I’m doing this post, maybe cuz bitch isn’t exposing her big tits enough to keep me happy and I’m responding angrily by associating her with the other trash I post about….or maybe I’m doing it because I’m from Mexican descent and I know she’s our National pride cuz she is the best looking thing Mexico has produced, I mean other than my Dirty Taco eating ass.

This post is a disaster. Fuck you Hayek for Hiding You Tits.

Posted in:Salma Hayek

2011

17

Feb

Salma Hayek Getting Hot and Heavy on Set of the Day

Literally….

Get it…cuz she looks all thick and shit…

I’m so good at this Blogging shit…

Ps…I’m drunk.

Hi Mom…Why did you die on me?! I’m not talking to your Salma Hayek…you are a Mexican mother…just not my Mexican mother….

Posted in:Salma Hayek

2011

04

Jan

Salma Hayek Covers Up for Water Safety of the Day

I like the kind of women who aren’t 40 year old mothers with full lookin’ bodies to match their massively full lookin tits…who are eager to show off their tits that made them famous…cuz they are appreciative of the fact that they aren’t working at a resort cleaning off shit, piss, cum and puke off the Cancun hotel wall….and they know what we pay the movie tickets that made her famous for….the kind of bitch who under any and all circumstances would never cover up her titties when she knew the paparazzi was around cuz she wanted to get as many miles out of them as humanly possible before she’s too fucking old for us to care cuz all old ladies have big tits….You know the kind of bitch who risks drowning, discomfort, death, to give her audience what they came for…

I guess with money, success, fame, marriage, stability comes no longer caring or working for the people who jerked off to her tits countless times….That drive has disappeared and she’s got soft. Literally…

Here she is on a waverunner, covered up, reminding us that she’s over and done with.

Posted in:Salma Hayek

2010

30

Dec

Salma Hayek in a Bikini for Old Times of the Day

Salma Hayek is a fucking tank.

I guess that’s no real surprise cuz like all girls who had big tits in thier 20s, when they turn 30 the rest of them slowly follows their titty’s lead and by 40 turns into real thick…not the mention this bitch is a Mexican, and I have never met a slim Mexcian mother before….

So the fact that this Mexican isn’t being carted around on a medical scooter with diabetes is a testament to how hard she is fighting her Mexican genetics…..something that probably isn’t worth celebrating in her bikini, but since I like all pussy in bikinis, it’s good enough for me, even if it’s sending a bad message to young girls everywhere that ou can be proud of your mom body any shape it is and parade it around like it’s not a disgusting fucking mess…

Posted in:Salma Hayek

2010

18

Oct

Salma Hayek Big Cleavage of the Day

I know Salma Hayek is not the same Salma Hayek she once was, but as a Mexican I see it as my job to promote all good things Mexican and no matter how old her tits are, they are pretty much the best export other than Mexican food to eat and Ugly Betty to laugh at…

It’s one of those, whether she’s old or not, it doesn’t matter, cuz Mexican women aren’t meant to look this way, they are meant to be short, dumpy by 22 and moms to multiple kids fed by their hard work making hotel beds and their dad’s spend the day in siesta…but maybe I’m just throwing out stereotypes you white people want to hear….maybe the truth is all pussy in Mexica is Salma Hayek caliber, but I wouldn’t know, I haven’t been there since I was 5.

Here is her great mom cleavage…worth fucking a pinata over…I’ll tell you that much…slutty and conservative all at the sametime..this is like business casual…but better…and just as confusing…

Posted in:Salma Hayek

2010

31

Aug

Salma Hayek’s Amazing Cleavage of the Day

Salma Hayek may be older, thicker and a mom, but she’s still Salma Hayek and she’s doing pretty fucking good in these pictures.

I was one of the many dudes who thought her Mexican face wasn’t hairy enough to turn me off of her curvy fucking body, and I’m may have giving up on her, you know traded her in for younger, fresher pussy, but I’m not giving up on her now, she’s recruited me back into her fan club, even though I hate Mexican women cuz they remind me of my dead whore mother…not because of her rotting pussy, but because she’s Mexican….but her weight gain and pregnancy has brought her even bigger fucking tits, and since I don’t get to fuck her, I don’t really care how mangled her pussy has become….I just like that she’s out there, showing the other busty starlets that they aren’t anything special, cuz everyone with a little tit can get themselves a push-up bra and a low cut shirt…and as a perverted blogger…I’m glad she did cuz this is a magical reminder of great tits from a simpler time…

Posted in:Salma Hayek

2010

24

Jun

Salma Hayek’s Big Fat Mom Tits Tour of the Day

Salma Hayek’s tis are on tour. I guess they are promotion a movie but I like to think they are just promoting her. They make me forget that she’s old and a mom now…and remember the things I used to do to myself watching topless clips of her in movies…it’s funny how tits can be so manipulative….even when they are Mexican after I vowed to never get off to a Mexican whore cuz my mother was a Mexican whore and it just feels wrong…but I guess there are exceptions to every rule you make based on your damaged childhood….

Speaking of damaged, here are her tits and her 45 year old body, destroying many stereotypes of other 45 year old Mexican women, with 12 kids and the ability to make a bed faster than they can change a white kid they work for’s diaper….and they are substantial….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Salma Hayek

2010

22

Jun

Salma Hayek’s Mom Nipples of the Day

Salma Hayek is a good fertile Mexican designed to breed….She’s got fat milk filled tits, a fat ass, wide hips ready to drop a new baby every 9 months, and her nipples are like faucets ready to feed a small town and despite having lost her appeal since she’s old and washed up, she’s still got her moments and I guess here’s a glimpse of what was…..and who really cares…cuz as a Mexican she’s automatically a second rate citizen and seeing her ego and celebrity blind her of that, annoys me. She’s the kind of Mexican who forgets she is Mexican the kind of bitch who is trying to be white so hard that she has Mexican staff maintaining her house that she treats like second rate citizens…but I guess her mom tits have the ability to make me ignore that….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Salma Hayek

2010

11

Jun

Salma Hayek Loses Her Shit of the Day

I just saw this video of Salma Hayek freaking the fuck out cuz of a snake and it made me laugh…I guess it opens a lot of opportunity to make penis jokes because her kid may lead you to think she isn’t actually scared of snakes…but I figure that’d be a lame angle…so maybe you should just watch the clip in slow motion cuz fear in women is pornographic…and probably something you’re used to cuz scaring a bitch is the only way to get her to agree to fuck you…whether it is from sneaking up on them, threatening them or worse…

Watch the video….

In case you forgot what Salma Hayek Looks Like…Here she is yesterday…in picture…scaring me…

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Salma Hayek