Miranda Kerr is in Vogue Australia and she’s in a bikini top in one of the pictures.
I probably shouldn’t pay attention to things like this, I am sure there are many better things for me to be doing with my time….Like looking at pics of Miranda Kerr naked, or half naked, in the hundreds of posts I have done on her….but for some reason, I’m sucked into this one, maybe cuz it’s for a magazine that drops in April, making me feel like I am Michael J Fox, pre-shakes, traveling into the future, without getting off my fucking couch.
Miranda Kerr, like all hookers, is peddling some bullshit, that she probably gets a percentage of sales on, because why the fuck not use you celebrity like you were Diddy and branch out in everything to push the 100,000,000 dollar mark….cuz getting paid 10 million a year to just pose for Victoria’s Secret, isn’t challenging enough, and when you’re a model the window is only so big…that you gotta plan for a retirement…and who the fuck cares…it involves her posting pics of herself in the shower in a bikini like we are in High School….at a party…where the girls aren’t quite ready to throw down…but are interested in the concept of showering with you…at least that’s how it played out for me….but now, if a shower opportunity arrises amongst friends…I don’t do this PG shit…I demand nudity…the way showers are meant to be had…
I also thew in some Vogue Australia pics cuz she’s lovely to look at….
Miranda Kerr is a fucking jerk…she went to the trouble of posting this awesome pic of her topless in the ocean….living the life of luxury that girls dream of….but can’t pull off cuz they are ratchet, haggard, and not Miranda Kerr….all romantic, sun soaked with her titties out….but they edited the shit so that I can’t imagine breast feeding…which is something I love doing…what a fucking bummer….I’d say she’s gotta redeem herself….but the truth is…her titties are already all over the internet…you just gotta LOOK FOR IT making this cock teasing activity…not as bad as it initially made me…. I forgive her.
I know the Oscars were a week ago….I haven’t erased the memory of how boring they were…or that I bothered watching them even though I was shunned this year for my great work in sitting on the couch ripping into celebrities cuz they make more money than me in their bullshit fabricated poptart world….that is annoying, unimportant….and overpaid….
But I just saw these pics Terry Richardson posted of his Oscar party hopping, cuz he’s not a dirt bag just cuz he looks like one…in fact he’s a multi millionaire who has become an icon in fashion….and in being an icon…even if it wasn’t all that hard to pull off…he gets access….and I’m not hating…he brings the sleaze…slowly and steadily and I love sleaze….
Well out of his pics….these Orlando Bloom breast feeding, cuz you know he did after they had their kid…is pretty much my favorite…and that’s probably because Miranda Kerr is a babe and far better to look at than Borat and Seth Rogan “networking” at some mixer for the 1% who tricked their way into that horrible hollywood self involved masturbatory world…and will now produce shitty content for everyone to celebrate even if it is unoriginal recycled crap….
Here’s the Kerr pic…it calms down all my rage….
The Rest of the Pics of the Oscar Party You Aren’t Exclusive Enough to Ever Attend…. FOLLOW THIS LINK
Miranda Kerr is on the beach doing some photoshoot for some random shit I don’t care about….but do care that Miranda Kerr is in it… modeling in some see thru looking outfit with some white looking panties under it…and not only because white looking panties get see thru when wet…but because Miranda Kerr you see because when it comes to Miranda Kerr – I would be into her wearing a snow suit….
Miranda Kerr is amazing….and here she is for PURPLE Magazine showing a little bikini model mom butt that I would love to sniff, tastes, eat and make love to until she can’t control her bowels, which according to my gay friend will take 8 years twice a day…..but I’m sure her vagina is just as good too…despite the whole baby thing….
Miranda Kerr is on the Cover of Purple Magazine’s latest issue and she’s showing off her long and amazing model legs…in what is totally seducing me into wanting to see the rest of the pics…but that can’t because this cover is just the teaser and I’ll probably have to wait a couple of hours before the rest of the pics drop…you know with this being the internet and that being the strategy to get any hype you can to a lingerie model sleazing up your edgy fashion mag that always has models naked…..if this cover is a sign of what’s to come…it’s safe to say it may be a photoshoot that brings me to come….which would be rare cuz my penis is dead and I am totally desensitized but I am willing to try….
As much as I hate the idea of marriage and pregancy and family and commitment thanks to my horrible wife..and the life sentence she is…I really don’t mind looking at or even fucking other people’s wives…because I can tell how miserable they are in their situation and I don’t mind being so bad in bed with them to bring them hope in their old life and realize “hey, it’s not so bad with this asshole, compared to that Jesus Martinez motherfucker”….I am so good at it…I could start a marriage counseling company where my sole job is to fuck a dudes wife to make her love him again….but apparently it’s illegal to do that….
That said, here’s Miranda Kerr in some tacky, trashy, marriage lingerie…or lingerie you put a girl in to role play wedding night….god knows why you’d do that…cuz I hear that’s normally the last blowjob a man gets….
I didn’t feel that one post on Miranda Kerr was enough today…so here she is in some bikini pics she posted to social media…cuz she’s a bikini model…and she does bikini far better than non bikini models…even when she’s doing it for free…or in what I like to call charity….like seeing a rockband perform at some dive bar…just in efforts to keep it real…in a “we don’t just do it for the money” kind of hustle…
I like to think that whenever I see a babe in a bikini who doesn’t have a modeling contract…when all drunk and bending over….totally giving me boners…I just can’t fully get into it cuz she’s not a professional…it’s like fucking a girl who isn’t a hooker….and expecting the same kind of performance….
Sure…some of the worst sex of my life have been with hookers…and some of the worst pics of babes in bikini has been brought to me by a corporation…but that exchange of money…makes it a more legit experience…
All this to say, I love Miranda Kerr in a bikini…but I love all girls in bikinis…you don’t need to get paid millions to make me jerk off to you….
Miranda Kerr is fantastic….on all fronts except maybe her personal life…I mean she didn’t have to marry and get knocked up when she was in her prime…even if she had nannies to handle the kid and a metabolism that would allow her to bounce back from the kid…cuz it is easier when you are younger…or even if at the time her career could have gone either way and a young millionaire actor from the same town as her was a good option for a retirement plan….even if no one remembers who Orlando Bloom is but this wide faced beauty has taken over the world…but ultimately…none of that matters when we’re looking at her photoshoot pics….
