Sara Sampaio brings the boring as fuck, played out catalog pics that are only worth looking at because there is a bitch in a bikini in them….it’s just the level of mindlessness we deal with on a day to day…because why bother having concept or stimulating our minds, that requires work, just give me beach photos from my shitty cubicle jobs to hate my life more than I already do…cuz my wife doesn’t look like this, my scenery doesn’t look like this, and I work to pay my debt to never afford a trip like this…

If anything, these bikini pics are just a huge fuck you, telling dudes we’re inadequate and will never fuck this cuz we aren’t rich enough to….the only positive in all this is that it is telling girls they are fat and should stop eating…because that’s what guys want to see…

And anything that fights obesity is a good thing.

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Portuguese model Sara Sampaio was caught dancing badly on Nina Agdal’s instagram…and I was okay with that because despite popular belief, I have very little involvement in her public image or marketing, but I should be, because if I was…she’d be working the local strip club, high on drugs, living in my basement, pulling sex tricks…because that’s a way better way to live than being a high paid Victoria’s Secret model…I mean struggling like the immigrant she is builds character, this life of luxury just fucks these girls up and takes them off a better course for someone like me looking for a lap dance.

Here she is posing for free people…

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Sara Sampaio is Victoria’s Secret answer to Adrina Lima being 100 years old…one may even argue they built her on the same software, hardware and platform as their Lima bot, this is just the updated version, younger and fresher, but maybe they aren’t into that world of robot models yet, even though you’d assume all these bitches are robots, but rather more into digging through the models of the world to find lookalikes to the ones they have as to not upset their clients with new girls since they are doing so well with the ones they have…

That said, she’s pretty fucking perfect, especially when not modelling for Victoria’s Secret, even though I assume Victoria’s Secret owns this and every other underwear company, they just don’t want you knowing it….

I hate catalog pics, but I am in love with whatever is going up in here…I want to write it poetry…with my penis…

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Sara Sampaio is some Portuguese girl who unlike other Portuguese girls, looks good in a bikini, and not all fat assed and full of Arroz Doce and fish…but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t smell like a fisherman’s daughter…like all other Portuguese girls…it just means she looks good when she gets paid her 10,000 dollar day rate to strip down…in pictures…

She’s the kind of girl I would have liked to have found all poor and desperate escape her shitty fishing village…you know to save from her shitty life…like the hero I am…but they evil empire beat me to it..and here she is cheating on them with another brand.

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SARA SAMPAIO is Victoria’s Secret ethnic weapon of choice now that Adriana Lima has seen better years and is the in the tail end of her career, thanks to her tail end being having exploded multiple babies out of it, like a good little catholic…and what better way to make the fans and the customers of Victoria’s Secret have a seamless ethnic cleanse, but not in the traditional sense of Ethnic cleansing but more in a middle America “look at that brown one, she’s got hot tits” kinda way…

I don’t know much, but I know she’s posing in a bikini and that may be all I need to know.

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I don’t know What Be is, but I am going to go out on a limb here and assume it’s a magazine…

I do know what a Sara Sampaio is, and that is a lovely ethnic model with a ridiculous model, she’s Portuguese, and unlike most Portuguese women, she’s not greasy, fat, but she may smell of fish…She’s a reality show winner who has since become the new Adriana Lima for Victoria’s Secret, because if one gets old and fat, you just replace her with another one who looks pretty much the same, in what I call type casting…the right way.

Apparently, when you mix a Sara Sampaio and a Be, you get this wet, half naked, amazingness…

I should have been a scientist. I’m so good at figuring out shit…I mean I could probably find the vaccine for AIDS…and it would ideally be with my mouth…via vagina…

Here are the pics…

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Sara Sampaio is some Portuguese model who you may have already jerked off to if you’re in your 50s and haven’t quite figured out that the internet has actual porn that you can view on your cellphone and that you don’t have to sneak off with your wife’s Victoria’s Secret catalog to fantasize about new pussy…as your wife’s pussy continues to get worse and worse, day after day, from the day you married her til now…the steady decline if you were to graph that shit out on a graph, an investment you probably wouldn’t have made if you realized that all bitches cause headaches, and you’re better off circulating through multiple bitches, rather than being stuck with one bitch and having to deal with her bullshit til the day you fucking die, cuz that’s not living people, that’s depressing as fuck and you’ve sold out for the suburban dream…your penis neglected, and not getting the exposure it needs, your soul and your spirit dead from being some woman’s bitch….and the solace you have is when you get 10 minutes to yourself cuz she’s grocery shopping or with her friend, unable to nag you…allowing you to have some time to yourself to jerk off to something you want to jerk off to, rather than something you have to have sex with cuz that’s what being married is all about…kill yourself now…or stare at Sara Sampaio cheating on Victoria’s Secret with Elle, making a name for her half naked self. I’m into it.

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SARA SAMPAIR is some Portuguese model who you may or may not know from the Victoria’s Secret catalog you are subscribed to since the 90s under a fake chick name, that still comes to your door every month, and that you re-visit when you’re bored of porn and feel like reliving 1992, but you probably wouldn’t recognize her, because despite being awesome, fit and amazing in a bikini, all their models are shot the same, in the same pose, and it’s hard to really tell them apart…until today, today she’s posing for L’Officiel Turkey, in a bikini, that is so different than WHEN SHE MODELS THIS, it’s like we’re looking at a whole new person…

THat said, I kinda PREFER WHEN SHE’S CLIMBING THE MODEL LADDER NAKED

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Sara Sampaio is some Victoria’s Secret model who while they are promoting aggressively so people get comfortable with her replacing Miranda Kerr, is allowed to branch out and pose for other publications, you know to help build her brand. It’s basic, effective marketing.

So here she is in Elle Russia, all hot lingerie model bodied, in hot lingerie model poses, hiding her nipples in a way that screams she’d totally show us her nipples, cuz that’s just the kind of girl she is.

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