Ali Larter Archives Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2023

18

Jul

Ali Larter Bikini of the Day

Ali Larter is only interesting to me because in the 90s, Esquire magazine decide dto create a fake celebrity using their magazine as the platform to create the fake celebrity, and it basically turned her into a real, not necessarily hugely famous, celebrity.

It’s a viral troll I’ve wanted to do with this site, but I never was able to get the site relevant enough to create a fake celebrity, so why bother, let Esquire do it in the 90s with Ali Larter for me…..

I only knew this about her recently, thanks to my DEEP dive on WIKIPEDIA, but it made her WHIPPED CREAAM BIKINI a little more amazing, unless I’m confused and it wasn’t even her in the WHIPPED CREAM BIKINI, I don’t really work in facts…

Well, she’s now in an actual bikini, not a WHIPPED CREAM BIKINI, because she’s old and the WHIPPED CREAM has done gone sour…it’s more like WHIPPED powdered milk you drink cuz you’re poor and it’s all you can afford, you know bottom of the barrel dairy….but I’m still lookin’..

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Ali Larter|Ali Larter

2022

18

Jul

Ali Larter Cherry Popping Bikini of the Day

No Comments »

The famous WHIPPED CREAM BIKINI is now 46 years old and that may not be exciting to anyone who found Ali Larter hot, since 46 is old as shit, with some real rotting reproductive organs, where even GOD or the CREATOR of MAN said “at a certain age, they are just too fucking old to fuck” and if you’re fucking while menopausal, it is more a “doing it because you can” than a doing it because you should…..

Now I am not Ali Larter’s TAMPON collection, so I have no idea how many eggs are left in her carton, but she’s giving us a solid POV of what she’d probably be posed like at the GYNO when he’s counting them out……only in a youthful and fun bikini, with some dried cum on her mound, unless that’s “DRIED SKIN”…..like we’ve never found dried cum on our chronic masturbating selves in places we didn’t know it ended up, only to realize when in public, or when asked by one of our friends “dude what’s that on your ear”……oh shit…….think fast….”DRY SKIN”….

And the real question is why is she taking loads on her belly and not inside her, isn’t menopause nature’s IUD along with being nature’s “You shouldn’t be fucking”…..

Who cares.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Ali Larter|Ali Larter

2022

10

Jan

Ali Larter Bikini of the Day

No Comments »

Ali Larter may not be the most exciting celebrity to ever happen, but I do appreciate her origin story, or at least her origin story of how she became a celebrity, I don’t know her early life or how rich and connected her parents were, or how capable they were to pay her rent as she chased her dreams like all the other rich girls who have made it to some degree in celebrity…

Her origin story is one of when magazines were more interesting, when the media weren’t a bunch of advertiser owned pieces of shit, because they had subscribers and big budgets to invest in content or articles and stories that required budgets…instead of just posting the opinions of dumb fucking millenials..

Anyway, they basically created a fake celebrity, a troll I’ve wanted to do forever, but that would require effort, just to prove that social media is bullshit, even though we know social media is bullshit….but yeah, they gave her a name, gave her a fake celebrity boyfriend, pulled some low level troll and girl STILL exists today…that HOAX was the best thing to be a part of…because it allowed her to be the Varsity Blues whipped cream bikini you all jacked off to…

I have no idea what she does now, but she’s old as shit and in a bikini, you may like that….since she’s not fat and in a bikini….even though you’d probably like it if she was fat so long as she was in a bikini…the key to successful internet content…THE BIKINI.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Ali Larter|Ali Larter

2021

18

May

Ali Larter in a Bikini of the Day

No Comments »

Long gone are the days of the Ali Larter who was in the famous WHIPPED CREAM BIKINI scene in some shitty movie I don’t remember…because Ali Larter is old as shit…

However, her legacy runs deeper than just a whipped cream bikini because she got her start as a social experiment where the media created a celebrity…before you could troll on social media cuz as you can tell by this photo she’s old….it was the mid 90s and I’ve written, not that this is officially writing, but they are letters formed into words and words formed into some fragmented stream of consciousness we’ll call sentences….since I don’t VLOG…or PODCAST…this is how I communicate which has been really awesome since no one reads.

Anyway, I’ve “written” and I use that term lightly, about Allegra Coleman, the ESQUIRE MAGAZINE produced celebrity who they faked was in a relationship with David Schwimmer and that basically went viral because even in the 90s people were fools who believed what they are told…

I am all about creating fake celebrities, or people of interest, it’s a troll I appreciate…so by default I like Ali Larter for launching into the world that way….

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Ali Larter

2021

05

Apr

Ali Larter Bikini of the Day

No Comments »

I call this post….the day the Whipped Cream Bikini died…

For those of you who don’t know Ali Larter, her claim to fame, and arguably the only thing she’s ever done that I know of was playing the Whipped Cream Bikini girl in Friday Night Lights the movie…no wait it was called Varsity Blues…it was the 90s how the fuck am I supposed to remember this shit…I just know she’s in her mid to late 40s and looks it…

The most interesting thing about her, which I actually think is pretty relevant today, but at the time I had no idea about, but yeah, Esquire Magazine created a fake celebrity called Allegra Coleman, played by Ali Larter, to troll the world while mocking celebrity gossip, saying she was David Schwimmer’s girlfriend, that Tarantino dumped Mira Sorivino for her, and how Woody Allen, the pervert of perverts, wrote her into his movie with a starring role…pretty fucking genius in a time when google didn’t exist…I LOVE trolls and that’s a good troll…

I guess I shouldn’t hate on older women for being older, especially in this MUPPET era of women with jacked up faces, it’s almost nice to see someone aging as naturally as she can being in Hollywood….

I was talking to my neighbor when a hot white haired lady walked by and I made some comment to him about how pretty she was despite being old…not to mention being old could be a good thing if you’re into fisting asses….they have more flexibility in their anuses after years of use…definitely a perk to some…and he was DISGUSTED by me suggesting a white haired woman was hot…as his cut off age for women is 35…..

So I’m not really an old lady hater, I just don’t like being reminded of how old I am by the hot chicks of my era looking like moms of my era….but I guess I’m old as shit too….and this Ali Larter bikini pic has taught me something about myself I probably would prefer to ignore…..THE END IS NEAR.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Ali Larter

2020

02

Jan

Ali Larter Ass Shot of the day

No Comments »

Ali Larter is 43 years old and I guess she made enough money in her career as the girl in a WHIPPED CREAM BIKINI in VARSITY BLUE which is the only movie I remember her being in…because she can spend her time in the gym working out, or not eating, or whatever it takes to be proud enough to show a straight up bikini ass shot on your social media….the whole empowerment thing exists and these girls are showing their asses to showcase their flaws and to crowdsource support…but this is more of a “Look at my ass it is still hot situation”…

Larter creepily got her career at 14 as a model – like so many other 14 year olds the industry think are old enough for the cocaine parties and unprotected sex. She actually did partake in an interesting social experiment when she was a no name model put together by ESQUIRE magazine, where they created a fake celebrity named Allegra Coleman. I only heard about it in a previous post I did on Ali Larter and it made me think she was more interesting (barely) than just a Whipped Cream Bikini for being a part of that troll before social media was there to help perpetuate fake news.

Well look at her now….she wants you to.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Ali Larter|SFW

2019

31

Jul

Ali Larter Bikini of the Day

No Comments »

There was a time when Ali Larter wasn’t in her 40s….

That time was long ago…

We should focus on those times and not these times…

It’s Ali Larter, I mean we don’t really need to relive this shit like we are at a high school reunion and we start reenacting some of the silly stunts we did when we were younger. No need to shotgun beer and pull our balls out in the cafeteria now that we’ve grown up…and I’d appreciate if Ali Larter took the same approach to life….

You did the whipped cream bikini bitch, move on, raise your family, you’re old.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Ali Larter|SFW

2019

07

May

Ali Larter Tight Leggings of the Day

No Comments »

Ali Larter is about 60 years old….highlight of her career could be the Final Destination movies, but probably the whipped cream bikini in Varsity Blues which I remember being a big time….

She’s in mom fitness pants that are thick and sturdy and shape these old ladies, which may be hot to you, but you could get very similar results at the grocery store as ALL women, even fat women wear these pants in public….it’s like the THONG bikini bottom, all bitches rock em now, even grannies…

The most interesting thing about Ali Larter, is actually an ultimate troll I don’t even remember but was pre internet…

Basically, Esquire magazine ran a story on a character their writer created called Allegra Coleman in a 1996….they released staged paparazzi nudes, said she was in an upcoming Woody Allen movie, was dating David Schwimmer at the height of FRIENDS when people cared who he dated…..

Only to have agents and managerrs and producers SCRAMBLING to sign her, sending scripts to her, because 1996 pre-internet was still a place where trolls could happen, just less frequently…

So that is how she got her career…a joke, a troll, a social commentary….and it’s panned out alright for her….so never under estimate the power of the media…THEY CONTROL YOU MINDS….

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Ali Larter|SFW

2019

01

Mar

Ali Larter Naked of the Day

No Comments »

Ali Larter is still alive…and in her time off, since she hasn’t worked in years, not since the Whipped Cream Bikini that basically created her celebrity, she’s had amble energy to figure out how to clickbait using social media properly….TITS OUT….she’s just not fully committed to the fucking cause….cuz where’s the fucking NIPPLE….I mean these old timers just don’t fucking get it…that is why the young young are taking over….

She is at the Selma Blair age…where she should just go for the chronic disease…and yes..Selma Blair fake retardation is going to be the only thing I like to write about for the next few day / weeks / months / years…

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Ali Larter|SFW

2019

20

Feb

Ali Larter Bikini of the Day

No Comments »

In these days where…Ali Larter doesn’t matter…I feel it is important to look at her social media and reflect on what was…in her self shot bikini pics for attention…like she was still out there on Friday Night Lights…getting a Whipped Cream bikini…because that scene will allow her to live on forever, long after she is dead…the Whipped Cream bikini of the past..making this aged version of her unnecessary…we got what we need from you Skriver…See Ya.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Ali Larter|SFW

Archive for the Ali Larter Category