Avril Lavigne Archives - Page 8 of 8 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

Archive for the Avril Lavigne Category

2008

Apr

Avril Lavigne Getting Hot and Heavy in the Park of the Day

I am a fan of public sex and apparently so is the rest of the world. There’s a whole lot of porn coming out with people getting it on in public and even the most wholesome chicks I talk to tell me stories of them sucking dick in public bathrooms or even in parks late at night. Now I have never had much public sex because it wasn’t trendy back when I was having sex but I am totally not against it. It’s actually one of the reasons I lurk around the city at night hoping to find some good action, but that’s just because I can’t afford a TV and prefer my porn to be some real life shit I’m spying on that some staged shit I come across on the internet, I guess part of me just wants to be invited into a couple’s bedroom to really get a feel for how things go down.

The good news is that Avril Lavigne and her boyfriend/husband/ teenage rebel are giving us a taste of what goes down between them in the bedroom, but I don’t call this public sex, it’s too fuckin’ tame, dudes just groping her a little because she’s probably getting her period and her hormones are all out of wack and it’s the only time of month she has tits worth grabbing. Unless I see him slipping it up her skirt while she sits on his lap like good public sex, I’m calling this lame, but a good try to be naughty, hope it sparks something in their sex life, because they got married too young and she’ll be bored of fucking him in about a minute, that’s when she’ll start banging her band members again.

Posted in:Avril Lavigne|Public Sex

2007

Nov

I am – The American Music Awards Arrivals of the Day

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I didn’t watch the American Music Awards because they are a waste of fucking time, even though every acceptance speech is about how shit changes lives, but unfortunately my life wasn’t one of those lives changed today, because I don’t own a TV, but if I did, I’d be living the fuckin’ dream and I am pretty sure I’d be watching scrambled porn, not because I like porn, but because distorted blue and green sex scenes excite me more than Dick Clark’s bullshit award show.

I tried getting someone in LA to crash red carpet for this event for stepTV, but I have no real pull, I couldn’t get press access and security’s a bitch, not to mention the dude I know in LA doesn’t have a camera and can barely speak english, but it still would have been better coverage than the actually award show, but that’s just like comparing a hot girl to some fat one night stand you once brought home when drunk because she was willing and you are an opportunist who doesn’t turn down a girl when she offers you creampie, unfortunately when you got back to her place, you realized that by creampie bitch actually meant a cream pie and you sat there eating whip cream and watching reruns of Seinfeld, because that’s all that was on at 4 am, until you sobered up and had to peace the fuck out because you realized that her elastic waistband on her sweat pants wasn’t something that could really get you off and for the record stepTV is that fat chick because it’s lower quality but makes for a better fuckin’ story.

I am recovering from binge drinking like a sorority girl during Homecoming week, and I don’t remember all that much of the last two nights, but I do know I laughed a lot so if you’re lucky I’ll bring some of that to you here, it happens sometimes, just not in this post.

Here are the arrival pictures from the AMAs.

Beyonce’s Got Some Insane Cleavage Going On….I Guess Someone’s Been Eating Her Fried Chicken