Back Archives Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2010

13

Apr

Some Pam Anderson Hepatitis Back in a Sheer Dress of the Day

I am tired of Pamela Anderson, but probably not as tired as Pamela Anderson is of being Pamela Anderson. I don’t know if that makes sense, but it’s probably a lot of pressure trying to be sexy, when knowing you’re nothing but an old hag, but you do it because you think it’s expected out of you, cuz that’s the person you created. You know wearing sheer dresses as your plastic surgery you got when plastic surgery was in its infancy melts off your face, and your liver struggles to filter your blood because you let dirty rockstar dick inside you and now it’s gonna lead to your premature death, if your heart doesn’t give out from all cocaine you are on because it is the only thing that makes you feel good about yourself, cuz you know you’re done, and Dancing with the Stars is your last Waltz under the spotlight before you are forgotten, at least that’s what you look like….maybe it’s time for another sex tape…one we watch to laugh at instead of watch to jerk off to like we did back in the 90s….maybe that’ll only come when other shitty reality shows for failed stars reject her…Only time will tell…

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Back|Pam Anderson|Sheer Dress

2009

27

Nov

Jessica Alba Shows Off Some Back of the Day

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I assume this was the view Cash Warren had the fateful night that he pulled out and came on her ass, only to have her run to the bathroom and turkey baste herself so that he could never leave her even though he tried so many times, because there comes a time in every man’s life when you realize the hot chick the world wants to fuck, is just the annoying bitch who constantly nags more than every other bitch and who doesn’t like giving head after a month of dating like every other bitch, and who doesn’t take it up the ass cuz she thinks its gross like every other bitch, she’s just easier on the eyes but not quite worth putting up with all the high maintenance bullshit that comes with her, until she mysteriously gets knocked the fuck up out of nowhere in some “Surprise….you’re stuck with me for life..motherfucker”…..

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Back|Jessica Alba

2009

15

Oct

Jessica Stam Shows Off Her Back of the Day

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Jessica Stam is a model from a farm in Canada that if I would have known about her before she got famous, I would have totally knocked on the family’s door late one rainy or snowy night complaining that my car had broken down up the road and that I needed to use a phone, where I would pretend their was no answer at the garage I was calling, leading to these people of god to offer me a place to stay in their guest room, because that’s just the kind of people farmers are, then when everyone was asleep, I would have totally snuck into her room and jerked off on her hair while she slept, because I’m not down with rape, but surprise cumshots are just funny, then I’d head to bed and wake up to a nice pancake breakfast her mom made me before heading out on my way, but instead she dated DJ AM before he died, she’s made millions of dollars and she’s pretty alright lookin, and here is her back.

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Back|Jessica Stam

2009

15

Jun

Anna Beatriz Barros’ Back of the Day

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Here’s a little Victoria Secret back for the guys out there who get off to hot chicks showing off their backs, I’m a little more into vagina personally, I don’t really need that sexually suggestive tease to get me exicted, I need spread eagled vagina quivering like a scared child crying for its mother. I don’t really know what that means, but it made me laugh and I guess this site is all about me. Yay.

Posted in:Anna Beatriz Barros|Back

2008

12

Jun

Mariah Carey and Her Assistant Tend to Her Cunty Sore Back of the Day

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It’s so typical that the half white girl would treat the all black husband as her fucking slave because white people are the devil. It makes things worse when you’re a younger dude and your wife is some kind of diva bitch who things the world works for her, making you the first officer in serving her cunt self.

These are pictures of Mariah Carey’s old weathered body beat up on set because she probably had to swim a lap, or throw a volleyball and now bitch is crying like she broke something because that’s why cunty spoiled brats do. The good news for her is that her bitch, fulltime personal assistant and husband is there to help her out, because it’s not like he’s got his own shit to do.

This job would be like winning the fuckin’ lottery after signing an agreement with the devil, taking you out of your poverty ridden shithole life, and bringing you to the life of luxury with the woman you lusted after when you were a teenager, and it all sounds pretty good, but within a year, you’ll be hanging from the rafters in your attic of your multi-million dollar home after killing youself because you just can’t take her shit anymore, so getting up into this shit when you’ve got your own money and hot younger bitches lined up is beyond me, but maybe Nick Cannon is a good little black kid who respects and serves his woman cuz his mom was an over-bearing Jesus freak in the projects.

I really don’t know, but I do know that his life with Mariah, despite all the superficial goodness seems like it’s just the worst job of his career and every minute of it fuckin’ sucks, even when jerking off to her while she’s asleep because she’s too tired doing nothing all day to put out.