Brooke Hogan Archives - Page 5 of 5 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

Archive for the Brooke Hogan Category

2007

Jun

I am – Brooke Hogan Bikini Photoshoot of the Day

When I used to watch wrestling in the 80s I used to think about how fucking gay it was. There were men in briefs greased up and rubbing all up on each other while play fighting. It always made me uncomfortable, not because I am homophobic, but because every time a greased up half naked man asked me to play fight I knew what he was up to. I used to always think to myself that since this shit is already so fucking homosexual, they should switch things up a bit and dress like women. You know rockin’ bikinis and dresses and turning shit into something you’d see at a Gay Pride parade. Thanks to Hulk Hogan’s hooker of a wife and his magical steroid sperm, I can live out that fantasy with his daughter. I can admit that she’s not all that bad since so lost weight, and that she’s the kind of girl guys go to strip clubs for, but no matter how hard I try, all I see is a platinum blonde handlebar mustache and a guy in yellow giving me life advice. If the world had an icon like Hulk Hogan today with his big muscles and workout audio cassette tapes, maybe it would be a better place. While you think about that, check out his daughter half naked….that’s why I posted these pictures.

Posted in:Bikini|Brooke Hogan|Unsorted

2007

Jun

I am – Brooke Hogan Performing of the Day

2 Comments »

Nothing says I am a piece of Florida trash that would have become a stripper if my dad let me because being a stripper has been my dream for my entire cheesy slut life that when I sit alone in my room I put on assless pants and pretend that I was rocking the pole until I realized that if I became a talentless hack of a popstar with my dad’s money funding my career, I can do my stripper routine in my assless pants on stage for lots of people to see that my fat ass is less fat than it was when I started to live my fucking dream. It’s actually a typical situation for a girl who no one wanted to fuck because they thought she was worth fucking, but instead fucked her because her dad is a fucking legend in the WWF, which may not be saying much, but I know some of you would still let Hulk Hogan give you a hot oil massage, not because you are gay, but because you are lonely and human touch is something you’re yearning for….Either way, always being second lead her to emotional eating that turned her fat until she realized that she could make a name for herself and started to hit the fucking treadmill and that is my theory on this slut.

Posted in:Ass|Brooke Hogan|Cameltoe|Performing|Unsorted

2007

May

I am – Brooke Hogan Dancing Around in her Underwear of the Day

65 Comments »

I know that a girl in her underwear is enough to make you happy. I know that you’re one of those guys at the strip club who sits by the stage clapping and urging the bitches on. It’s people like you that fuck it up for the rest of us, because it gives them a false sense of worth, making them feel pretty and wanted and putting them on a some kind of ego trip, making them forget they are whores.

So these pictures of Brooke Hogan make you happy, because a girl in underwear is better than a girl in clothes especially on the internet.

When I look at these pictures, I just remember a fat girl trying to get skinny to have a career, and when she reached her ideal weight, she decided to get naked, in hopes of getting assholes like you, who are easy to fucking please at her show.

I am not saying I wouldn’t stuff her like a turkey if I had the chance, I am just saying that bitch has no business doing whatever it is that she does, and being Hulk Hogan’s shadow, is probably not a place anyone should be, because he’s a piece of Florida trash with big biceps, stupid hair and crazy pants….and she may not be wearing crazy pants, but bitch could probably beat the fuck out of me with legs like that. Ya’ Heard?

I forgot where I was going with this, because I am drunk, but I do hate people who cheer on strippers, because it makes getting a lap dance next to impossible….Cuddles….

2007

Apr

I am – Brooke Hogan Performing Half Naked of the Day

1 Comment »

Here are some pictures from some surprise performance Brooke Hogan was involved in somewhere in Florida. I don’t know any of the details because I don’t really give a fuck about Brooke Hogan, other than the fact that she looks like her dad and I always had a thing for his pulsating muscles and work out audio tape.

I do remember this bitch being a little fat while planning on launching her failed music career and it’s nice to see that she realized her key to success was to get toned and barely dress for her shows to keep people like me interested. I can’t really dis her because she’s probably better looking than most of the crackwhores I threw it to over the years and she is definitely better lookin’ than my fat wife.

I guess I’d write more, but the sun is rising, and I always feel like a crackhead when I go to bed when the sun is rising. It’s just not the way you society thinks you should be living and keeping up appearances, like Brooke Hogan’s realized is important and takes a lot of commitment. On a side note I realized that I have no memory for jokes, I always remember the punchlines but can’t ever pull it together. I was at someone’s house today and was trying to be the life of the party but I just embarrassed myself with my delivery. Lucky for you, I will never do stand-up, unless my act was just telling punchlines to jokes I don’t remember, which could pretty much be a huge success. I will update more when I wake up but until then click my links below. Cuddles.

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2007

Apr

I am – Brooke Hogan Sports Bra of the Day

66 Comments »

I hate sportsbras. I have never really had to deal with a girl in a sportsbra because I usually let them know from day one that I can’t deal with that shit around me. It flattens out their tits and makes me feel like I am hanging out with a jogger or a dude who just got back from the gym and that normally doesn’t turn me on unless I am really drunk.

I can’t think of any sportsbra stories, other than some girls in highschool who had retardedly big tits using them to tone down their junk, obviously not one of Brooke Hogan’s issues. But who cares what I think, if you’re into trannies with orange skin, that’s your deal and I an not going to judge. I figure everyone you know will when it comes out and that’s enough for you to handle.

Reality is that this bitch was fat and hit the gym, now she feels like it’s her right to show the world what she’s packing like ever fat girl who doesn’t realize she’s still fat because she’s the skinniest she’s ever been. This is just a case of a fat girl in slutty gear thinking it’s all okay when it obviously isn’t. That said, I’d still lick her ass right after she took a shit.

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2007

Mar

I am – Brooke Hogan Bikini of the Day

1 Comment »

Here are some pics of Brooke Hogan lookin’ like her dad in a bikini from a couple days ago in Florida. I never understood why Jersey was labeled the trashcan of the country, after visiting Florida years ago, it reminded me of a trailer park strip club, but I guess that doesn’t matter.

I was walking by a store window yesterday and the Hogan show was on TV. Hulk was trying to teach his kids responsibility by making them get a job. I stopped watching because there was no sound and because some crackhead I didn’t know hassling me for money but I did see her on all four cleaning a toilet.

It reminding me of a friend I once had you made his girlfriend drink toilet water like she was a dog before getting in bed with him, he would just sit there jerking off while she did it and I never really understood the fetish. I never really do understand the fetish, but I do know that he didn’t really have a hard time finding girls ready and willing and he didn’t even have to pay them. While watching Brooke with her hand in the toilet, I knew she woulda been into it…that slut.

Posted in:Brooke Hogan|Unsorted