Candice Swanepoel posing topless with a skateboard is the shit that dreams could be made of if you are less into nipples and more into skateboards…like some closet case 16 year old kid who skateboards and is told that Candice Swanepoel is a babe, making it the kind of thing he prints up and puts in his locker, which could make it more pornographic to you, because you’re a fucking pedophile, here’s your bait…

That said, I am actually over and done with this Swanepoel character, I was all about her for a while, but I’ve seen too much of her, she’s boring, uninteresting, doesn’t get in scandals, is still hot but owned by an evil company, and they don’t even get her naked…when she’ll do anything for them, like some kind of groupie robot on call because she needs them and owes them everything…yet is still so fucking boring…but I’ll post the pic anyway, cuz my inner 16 year old who was into skateboarding, finds it kinda hot…

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I would say that Candice Swanepoel is cheating on her manufacturers over at Victoria’s Secret, you know the team of scientists who made her and pretended they found her off some beaten path in South Africa, amongst the blood diamonds and AIDS Rate…with this company called Agua Bendita, who make bathing suits….but I am going to assume that she is owned and operated by the team at Victoria’s Secret and that they have far too much money invested in her to allow some other obscure brand to use her, unless of course, that obscure brand is just another one of their product lines to really monopoly on the fabric on pussy, whether underwear or bathing suit, global market….

That said, the pictures are boring, she should be fisting herself, if they even made her with a vagina, and I don’t think they did, because vaginas call for too much time spent in post production retouching the camel toe out, but it would keep things interesting, and she come across as eager, because at this rate, all her pics are the same and she’s just got old, tired and lazy…but the good news is…her body hasn’t…

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Victoria’s Secret prize hen Candice Swanepoel has ventured into other magazines like Vogue Mexico, because she’s a little slut who needs to fuck other dick to feel validated cuz the dick that pays for her food and shelter is repetitive and not making her feel special enough…and it turns out she’s capable of boring as fuck photoshoots…because this shit right here isn’t giving boners….

BORING.

Here’s the video…

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Candice Swanepoel who is not Brazilian, was cast to promote Brasil’s Fashion Night out for their Fashion week…because I guess Brazilians are done with their own models, they send them up here, and take bikini models, make them stand by the pool, not in bikinis…just to be different…kinda like how their hottest prostitutes usually come stock with cock…you know why make things as good as they possibly can be when you can shit on their entire being….

Brazilians don’t have it all figured out…but they do have great asses, and so does Candice who is not Brazilian, but still worth looking out.

I know, this post is life changing. Deal with it. I am still drunk.

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I’ve lost interest in Candice Swanepoel. I don’t know why, but I am going to assume it’s over exposure. I also hate the brand she is owned by and everything they represent, in their evil sweatshop manufacturing, overpriced garbage, that they sell to middle America way.

Sure they book hot bitches to pose in the shit, but everything they shoot is so fucking boring, they photoshop out nipples, and they are the fucking McDonalds quality of photoshoots, you know manufactured, robotic, and garbage…and I don’t care how many big macs a motherfucker eats, I’m not touching that plastic shit.

If you know what I mean…

And my hatred for Victoria’s Secret, spills over into all the other work their bitches do, because I know they sold their soul to the devil, and I get that it’s about making money and getting as huge as possible, but I prefer my hot bitches a little less desperate to be at the top…and a lot more desperate to get to the top they have no chance of attaining but that they’ll suck my dick for me to post about them as part of their efforts…if you know what I mean…

This Candice bitch is done, over, and sure she has a great body, there’s very little in it for me, especially when she’s not getting naked and let’s face it…this life that I’m living is all about me…and this twat serves no purpose in it unless she’s showing nipple. Bye bye.

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I don’t know about you, but I remember when Terry Richardson was shooting gutter hipster chicks he met at the after party, either taking his dick, or spreading their hipster pussies, in what was semi-interesting documentary style snapshots that showed a life far more interesting a fun than yours…tons of drugs and pussy what the fuck…

Then he went corporate, and now he takes lingerie models and puts them in clothing, places them in substantial settings, to do big production shots, but he lacks one key element that makes him interesting, and that’s the fucking pussy…

I mean seriously, these pics would be better if Candice was fucking spreading her ass next to the Montana or Utah or wherever the fuck she is sky…but instead he has her in some JC Penny 1960s town square dance event skirt…and that just fucking offends me…

She is a body, not a face, sort it out asshole.

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I don’t know what this is all about. but I approve…It’s a great way to closes out my week of blogging…you know getting me pumped for my weekend, because you know this is what my bedroom is going to look like, with more pee stains and obesity…and less sheets….

If that’s not good enough for you, here she is in a tight little mini skirt rocking’ her awesome booty….a skirt I’d like to climb up and die inside…or wash it with my mouth…with an extra long rinse cycle…just as soon as I’m done sniffing it and by done I mean…with orgasm…right?

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Here’s a genius idea that I call milking a woman’s celebrity in efforts to promote your brad…but not realizing that the basis of her celebrity is her awesome half naked body…and not her face…

I mean this is like getting a hooker to give you a back massage because you are lonely, or a stripper to have a conversation with you in her clothes, it just doesn’t make sense.

If you pay the bitch, who knows her body rocks, you make sure she does her fucking job…

It’s jobs like these that give a model an ego, and make them think they have a chance doing things half naked…

It’s that beacon of hope that ruins them…so this company is doing more harm than good.

Bring back a half naked Candice..

That’s all I have to say about that.

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Breaking news…This just in…Hot off the presses…Candice Swanepoel dyed her hair blonder than it already was…and no one fucking cares…

What we do care about is seeing her bikini / lingerie model modelling fucking bikinis and lingerie like she is supposed to be…rather than posting pics of her not so hot face when her ass isn’t in the frame to stare at….to her social media…

I mean bitches always get an ego when they get too famous, and forget the only reason they are famous, and that is because of their fucking booty…at least in this South African’s case…

Everyday, I am less and less interested in Candice Swanepoel. She’s old news… her hair looks stupid…who the fuck cares…

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