Seeing as she’s been with the same dude for a long time and they have a kid together, I doubt he’d go around showing people these pictures for jokes, so either it’s not Alba, or it’s an inside job to regain her sex appeal after having a kid and pretty much ruining it….I guess you can be the judge and all I really know is that bitches with digital cameras change fucking lives…

Unfortunately, as Jessica Alba’s sext can confirm, sexting takes on a whole new level of disgusting when it is monitoring baby weight, or post baby weight, which I can only assume this is, you know those pregnant bitches just can’t get enough watching their body’s transform…and think the guys they are with who are fucking hookers behind their back to feel like men cuz their bitches have morphed into monsters are into it…

But like I say whenever I watch a bitch breast feed her kid in public, at least there’s nipple.

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I don’t know if it was the Mexican music strumming at my heart…bringing back memories of my priest at the orphanage who used to throw bricks at my head…or my mother fucking white American men who were passing through…while I was in the same room….or if Jessica Alba actually is hot in this British GQ photoshoot video…but I am posting it anyway…

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I knew a guy who knew a guy who would go to gas stations to get off. He’d park his car near the pumps and whenever a girl would get out to pump her gas, he’d jerk off. I know this actually happened because my friend was passed out in the backseat one night after a lot of hard drinking and woke up to the dude going at himself saying things like “Pump that gas you little whore” and “you like getting your hands dirty don’t you little slut” and “you like doing immigrant blue collar work don’t you”….and “daddy stop putting your fingers in me, I’m trying to watch the nice lady pump her own gas” with some real repressed memories because apparently he grew up in a small town and his dad was the gas man…and he worked the pumps growing up…and was molested by his gas man dad….making the whole thing a really fucking weird way to start the day….but here’s Alba pumping her own gas anyway…

And here is a recent pic of her nipples, for those of us who can’t really get off to a girl pumping gas cuz it is creepy and not as easy as it is for the weird friend of a friend with a Gas station background and a molesting father… cuz everyone likes nipples….except maybe that crazy homeless guy I met who was scared shitless of nipples.. he thought they were aliens coming to eat his soul…but he’s a rare case, and for the most part…nipples are a good thing…

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Here is the Alba scene from Machete. I don’t kno if this is her or a body double and I really don’t care, because Alba died to me a few years ago when she decided to have a kid, and no matter how well she bounces back from that shit, a living creature has managed to squeeze through her weird vindictive cunt that she used to trap her boyfriend who tried to leave her, but more importantly, she didn’t abort it because she felt like her career was in a safe place that wouldn’t be affected by a pregnancy, when really she only had a career cuz she didn’t have a kid..

Either way, here’s the clip.

Posted in:Jessica Alba

I heard Alba and Lohan both have nude scenes in Machete, which makes sense, because why else would you bring two relatively recently desired pussy back from the grave, dust them off, maybe spray a little perfume on them after soaking them in a warm tub to loosen up a bit, before totally raping them, for every eyeball that wants to see Lohan and Alba naked for old times sake, it’s relatively obvious marketing, but still genius that it got pulled off.

I also walked into a small town sex shop this weekend, it happened to smell like really dirty pussy, there was no one working, but there was noise coming from the basement door that was left open, the shelves were filled with bondage gear, from harnesses to whips to gags to restraints and I like to think I was playing a pivotal role in the man who owns and works the shops fantasies…you know the store owner who inserts foreign objects inside bitches, while someone is upstairs browsing in their store…..

Either way, bondage is big, throat fucking porn bigger….Alba gagged not so interesting, but what the fuck, anything that involves her being taken down a notch and demeaned, is porn to me.

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Jessica Alba apparently got work in some movie no one heard of or saw, and she had a sex scene….

All I need in my life is a has-been mom sexing it up in the second movie role she’s had since she’s started up this whole bullshit family thing….because has been mom’s, despite the sloppy body turn me on when they give up their no-nudity clause, cuz they figure dignity and holding off doesn’t matter anymore, because people don’t actually want to see me naked, except for old times sake….

I get it, it is a recipe for success, kinda like the sex tape industry, where people, even if uninterested in the person, still want to see them get down, bringing back memories of back when they jerked off to their bikini pics daily, hoping it increases their stock and brings them back to that level of acceptance they once had….

Maybe the prude goes out the window when you’re straddled in a hospital room passing a baby through your cunt, or maybe that happens when you realize no one gives a fuck about you, but either way, I’m glad it happens….because shit like this keeps me going…even if it is a body double…which it doesn’t really look like it is….

Desperation is amazing….Naked for money always looks good to me….

Here is Some Other Pussy in the movie Named Caitlin Turner, I’ve never heard of her, but now I know what her beat up ass looks like…

Here is Alba in a see through shirt promoting some another movie someone hired her to do for old times sake…..

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Jessica Alba needs to go back to babymaking, at least that will give her something she can pretend to be proud of, you know minor purpose in her life, cuz based on this recent publicity tour for Machete, she’s totally fuckin’ done.

Irrelevant and hated by all men for ruining herself with that whole hole in condom trick that brought her a kid that will never let her man Cash Warren leave her….

Remember, with irrelevance comes sex tapes….not that you want to see the mangled mom pussy, but I know I do….for reasons deeper than seeing a mangled mom pussy….and those reasons are that she had a no-nudity clause and I need to be reminded that when push comes to shove, all women are whores….even mothers trying to get noticed again….

Posted in:Jessica Alba

I figured it was only a matter of time before someone gave Jessica Alba a hand out. She was a huge success at one point in her career and people were very into her….and by people…I mean perverts.

She was this cocktease whore who would get in her bikini and never anything less, and she kept her stock up, like any non-nude model before they get naked and see their online following drop, only in Alba’s case, she didn’t show pussy, she got pregnant…

Perverts tend to be loyal to girls they always wanted to fuck, or at least see naked, so if you put the bitch in whatever you are doing, there’s bond to be the leftover fans willing to watch, hoping they will finally get what they want….

So here she is showing off her little bloated belly that never quite bounced back to where it was and her deflated tits, cuz that’s what happens when you spend your days working out hoping to get rid of your bloated belly that never bounced back…..

Posted in:Jessica Alba

If you’re into scoping out mom pussy, you’ll probably like this. I unfortunately have this issue that no matter how bad I wanted to fuck the girl before she got knocked up, and not matter how well she bounced back from that pregnancy, I can’t look at her in a sexual way, at least not when I am sober, cuz all I can think about is her mangled mess that look like some kind of space alien, or accident victim, who may or may not have been badly burned, squeezed and harnessed into her underwear as tight as she can, so no one but her miserable husband have to know…

But this is still Alba, she’s still letting us look up her skirt, and mom pussy or not, and murdered career or not, it is still pretty fucking amazing…but not as amazing as her future sex scenes, cuz a bitch who once refused to nude scenes, may change her tune when nude scenes are all she gets….

I am now wishing she wasn’t wearing underwear, but that’s just cuz I am always down to get spooked by mom pussy…especially when I’m watching it from a voyeur angle….

Posted in:Jessica Alba

I can’t imagine you care about Jessica Alba’s comeback tour now that she’s landed her first gig since being a mom in the movie Machete, you know since she’s let us all down and is dead to us. But I figured I’d put up the pictures anyway, to remind you all to not buy into her second attempt at a career, and encourage you to punish her for her actions by making her fade the fuck away….especially when wearing such stupid fucking dresses that don’t really give boners…something she’s been keen on since she’s become a mom…

She fucking sucks…no wait, she rips holes in condoms of guys she never wants to have leave her so that they stick to her uterus and make her babies….but that’s a form of sucking…just with less mouth.

Posted in:Jessica Alba